SNL Transcripts: Drew Barrymore: 02/14/04: Gore’s Endorsement


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 29: Episode 12

03l: Drew Barrymore / Kelis

Gore’s Endorsement

Al Gore…..Darrell Hammond
Tipper Gore…..Amy Poehler
Sen. John Kerry…..Srth Meyers

[ open on Al Gore talking on the phone, alone in his kitcen ]

Al Gore: Okay. Goodbye to you, then. [ hangs up phone ]

Tipper Gore: Al. Honey. Aren’t you coming to bed?

Al Gore: I’ll be right there. It’s just, the Democratic Party needs Al Gore. I’m trying otm ake the world a better place!

Tipper Gore: Come to bed.

Al Gore: Okay, Tipper, I got one more call to make tonight.

[ Tipper exits ]

Al Gore: [ dials phone, clears throat ] Hello? Hello! This is Al Gore.

[ cut to Sen. John Kerry on the other end of the phone ]

Sen. John Kerry: Hello, Al.

Al Gore: I.. I wanted ot be the first to say congratulations, Senator Kerry.

Sen. John Kerry: Well, thank you, Al. Of course, it’s not over yet.

Al Gore: I know. I heard you had an affair.

Sen. John Kerry: I have already categorically denied that.

Al Gore: Don’t worry, it doesn’t matter! I was on the ticket with an honest-to-God pervert, and he mopped up George, Sr.! I mean, I think you’re the man! At first, you know, I supported Howard Deam.

Sen. John Kerry: Yes. I know. I want to thank you for that, Al!

Al Gore: I don’t think Dean would’ve gotten as far as he did, without my support.

Sen. John Kerry: Al, he hasn’t won a single state.

Al Gore: Well, I’m done supporting him! I tried to support Clark but he wouldn’t talk to me. Then, I.. expressed interest in supporting Edwards. But he tried to sue me! And Lieberman took a poke.. at.. me.

Sen. John Kerry: Well.. you had that one coming to you, Al.

Al Gore: [ changing subject ] Anyway.. I think the entire world would like to know, who I’m going to support now?

Sen. John Kerry: Well, I’ll tell you what I think, Al: I think you’re delusional.

Al Gore: Well, the wait is over. I.. decided.. to support.. youuuuu!!

Sen. John Kerry: Gosh, Al, I-I really wish you wouldn’t do that. You know, I think I’ve got a real chance here.

Al Gore: I’ve got some very big ideas. Let’s invest in health care, education! Let’s preserve the environment! We can make this country stronger! And richer! I am.. ex-cit-ed.

Sen. John Kerry: Well, Al.. they’re all good ideas, they.. they just don’t sound good coming out of you!

Al Gore: That’s because you haven’t heard my new style.

Sen. John Kerry: People have been talking about your new style, Al, and.. I’m not sure it’s the right move.

Al Gore: Listen. I’ve got a new throat thing going. [ demonstrates ] Our president BETRAYED our trust!! He LIED to us!! I’m Al GORE!! My hatred for him GROWS!! [ softens his tone ] ..and grooooows. I can turn it on and off, it’s easy. You should try it!

Sen. John Kerry: Yeah. I probably won’t try that, Al.

Al Gore: You just wait ’til I’m at the convention. I’m gonna be a big ol’ hit at the convention.

Sen. John Kerry: Yeah.. the convention.. [ lying ] It’s in, uh, Salt Lake City gthis year, Al. I’ll see you there!

Al Gore: I thought it was in Boston..?

Sen. John Kerry: Yeah, I guess they moved it! Now it’s out in Salt Lake! I can’t wait to see you in Salt Lake City, Al!

Al Gore: Hey, wha- what..? What’s this I hear about you needing a Vice-President?

Sen. John Kerry: Gotta run, Al!

Al Gore: No, no, I-I don’t know if you remember this, but.. I’ve been a Vice-President —

Sen. John Kerry: Oh, you know what? I’m driving into a tunnel, Al! I’m onmy cell phone! [ faking ] Crackle.. crackle.. Gotta go! I’m breaking up! Crackle..

Al Gore: Remember the throat yell, it’s real —

[ Kerry has hung up, Gore is stuck with the dial tone ] [ Tipper re-enters the kitchen ]

Tipper Gore: Al. you said you were coming to bed.

Al Gore: John Kerry is so excited about my support! [ pretends he’s still speaking with Kerry ] I’ve gotta go now, John! Bye! [ hangs up the phone ] I think I’ll make a big announcement tomorrow, Tipper. I think the world will want to know, and they’ll be listening..

Tipper Gore: That’s nice, Al. You come upstairs, okay? I’ve got your pajamas all laid out.

[ Tipper exits ]

Al Gore: I just wanted to say, that.. “Live! From New York! It’s Saturday Night!

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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