SNL Transcripts: Ben Affleck: 03/13/04: Only Bangkok I

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 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 29: Episode 15



03o: Ben Affleck / N.E.R.D.

Only Bangkok I

Businessman…..Seth Meyers

[ phone ringing ]

Businessman: [ into the mouthpiece ] Hey! Dude, it’s me. Yeah, I know, you were right – Thailand is crazy. Um.. listen, there’s a, uh.. situation. I took your advice – I got a hooker.. No, Kevin, it was not awesome! She came to my room, and we started drinking this bottle of Vodka with a coiled snake in it.. next thing I know, I woke up in the closet, and she’s not moving. [ sighs ] Look! Just shut up! What is the name of that guy? You know, that, uh.. that Dutch guy.. who helps clean up.. “messes.” [ a beat ] Thank you. That is all I needed to know.

[ SUPER: “What happens in Thailand, stays in Thailand” ] [ SUPER: “Only Bangkok” ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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