Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 29: Episode 16
Fear Factor Junior
Joe Rogan…..Fred Armisen
Announcer: This month, “Fear Factor” takes it to the next level.[ show young children enduring the eating of live worms ]
Announcer: Fear Factor Junior![ live roaches are poured onto the chest of a young boy ] [ Joe Rogan stands over a young boy in front of a helicopter ]
Joe Rogan: You know how to swim, right?
Young Boy: [ excited ] Yeah![ helicopter takes off, as the young boy is blindfolded behind intense, clenched teeth ]
Announcer: Do these first and second-graders have what it takes?[ the young boy is pushed off the helicopter, into the waters below ] [ Joe Rogan hides young children under a bed, and pushes plates of strange animal carcasses to them ]
Announcer: You haven’t seen fear, ’til you’ve seen it through a child’s eyes.
Joe Rogan: It’s a simple question-and-answer game. I’ll ask you ten questions, and, any time you’re wrong.. [ pulls sheet to reveal a pet dog standing knee-deep in a tank of water ] ..this tank, containing your pet retriever Paulie, will fill up with 20 gallons of water![ show young boy being pulled out of the water by a rowboat ]
Announcer: The New York Times calls “Fear Factor Junior” “The most…example of…society.”[ the roaches continue to crawl across the chest of the other young boy ] [ Joe Rogan continues to quiz the young girl ]
Joe Rogan: Star of “Gilligan’s Island”? [ a beat ] Bob Denver. That was easy.
Joe Rogan: This is called Breakfast In Bed. [cut to shot of the kids parents in bed] Your job is to pick off the maggots and eat them, while preserving the eggs benedict. If the breakfast isn’t good enough.. your parents will get a divorce.[ the kid grimaces at the thought, as his parents look on in shame. He then begins to pick off the maggots one by one, and eat them ]
Announcer: From the producers of “Fear Factor” and “America’s Most Talented Kid” —[ Joe Rogan continues the quiz the little girl ]
Joe Rogan: De-si-lu.. Pro- ductions!
Joe Rogan: He’s catching up! You’ve gotta run! Here comes the clown!
Announcer: Fear Factor Junior”. Mondays at eight, followed by “Fear Factor Alcoholics”.