Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 29: Episode 17
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Air Date:Host:Musical Guest:Special Guests:Cameos:
April 10th, 2004
Janet Jackson
Janet Jackson
None
Tracy Morgan
Chris Kattan
Simon Cowell
9/11 BriefingSummary: Vice-President Dick Cheney (Darrell Hammond) briefs Condoleeza Rice (Janet Jackson) on her 9/11 hearing, and convinces her to flash a boob to take off some of the heat.
Recurring Characters: Dick Cheney, Condoleeza Rice.
Transcript
Montage
Janet Jackson’s MonologueSummary: Janet Jackson’s home movies from her childhood prove she had a normal upbringing.
Also Appeared: 93t
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Brian Fellow’s Safari PlanetSummary: Brian Fellow (Tracy Morgan) imagines having a tryst with an attractive zookeeper (Janet Jackson).
Recurring Characters: Brian Fellow.
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Janet Jackson Concert LineSummary: Starkisha (Finesse Mitchell) and her peeps wait in line for tickets.
Recurring Characters: Starkisha, Appreciante.
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An Easter Treat From Saturday Night LiveSummary: Horatio Sanz, Jimmy Fallon, Chris Kattan, Tracy Morgan bring their ditty yet back again. Though Simon Cowell objects to a Christmas song being sung in April, he agrees to join in on maracas.
Note: Simon Cowell was asked to host the episode, but he wasn’t interested. He would only agree to making a guest appearance.
Transcript
Janet Jackson performs “All Nite (Don’t Stop)”
Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina FeySummary: Off-the-record, Condoleeza Rice (Maya Rudolph) tells the truth of her pre-9/11 knowledge. Kevin Eubanks (Finesse Mitchell) laughs at Tina Fey’s joke about Jimmy Fallon. Jimmy Fallon sings a faux James Bond theme song.
Recurring Characters: Condoleeza Rice.
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The Prince ShowSummary: Prince (Fred Armisen) makes Paula Abdul (Janet Jackson) pose for a painting.
Recurring Characters: Prince, Beyonce Knowles.
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Cork SoakersSummary: Expert cork soakers (Jimmy Fallon, Horatio Sanz) discuss their craft with doulbe entendres.
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Janet Jackson performs “Strawberry Bounce”
Good TimesSummary: An amalgam of episodes focuses on the Evans family’s hopes for a huge lottery payoff.
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Boom BoomerSummary: Drug-induced paranoia makes the game more fun.
GoodnightsTranscript
Dress Rehearsal Cuts
TV FunhouseSummary: Rob Smigel presents a cartoon about Donald Trump.
Note: This cartoon was also cut last week when Donald Trump hosted.
The SleepoverSummary: Kaitlin (Amy Poehler) invites the most popular girl (Janet Jackson) at school over for a sleepover.
Recurring Characters: Kaitlin, Rick.
ControlSummary: Advertising executives (Fred Armsien, Chris Parnell) want to use Janet Jackson’s song, “Control”, for an adult diaper commercial.
Boombox BarrySummary: Bombox Barry (Horatio Sanz) wanders the streets in search of Pedro.
Jayson WilliamsSummary: Jayson Williams (Finesse Mitchell) discusses his recent scandal with his lawyers.
Note: This sketch was also cut from last week’s episode with Donald Trump.
