SNL Transcripts: Janet Jackson: 04/10/04

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 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 29: Episode 17


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:


April 10th, 2004

Janet Jackson

Janet Jackson

None

Tracy Morgan

Chris Kattan

Simon Cowell
9/11 BriefingSummary: Vice-President Dick Cheney (Darrell Hammond) briefs Condoleeza Rice (Janet Jackson) on her 9/11 hearing, and convinces her to flash a boob to take off some of the heat.

Recurring Characters: Dick Cheney, Condoleeza Rice.

Transcript

Montage

Janet Jackson’s MonologueSummary: Janet Jackson’s home movies from her childhood prove she had a normal upbringing.

Also Appeared: 93t

Transcript

Brian Fellow’s Safari PlanetSummary: Brian Fellow (Tracy Morgan) imagines having a tryst with an attractive zookeeper (Janet Jackson).

Recurring Characters: Brian Fellow.

Transcript

Janet Jackson Concert LineSummary: Starkisha (Finesse Mitchell) and her peeps wait in line for tickets.

Recurring Characters: Starkisha, Appreciante.

Transcript

An Easter Treat From Saturday Night LiveSummary: Horatio Sanz, Jimmy Fallon, Chris Kattan, Tracy Morgan bring their ditty yet back again. Though Simon Cowell objects to a Christmas song being sung in April, he agrees to join in on maracas.

Note: Simon Cowell was asked to host the episode, but he wasn’t interested. He would only agree to making a guest appearance.

Transcript

Janet Jackson performs “All Nite (Don’t Stop)”

Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina FeySummary: Off-the-record, Condoleeza Rice (Maya Rudolph) tells the truth of her pre-9/11 knowledge. Kevin Eubanks (Finesse Mitchell) laughs at Tina Fey’s joke about Jimmy Fallon. Jimmy Fallon sings a faux James Bond theme song.

Recurring Characters: Condoleeza Rice.

Transcript

The Prince ShowSummary: Prince (Fred Armisen) makes Paula Abdul (Janet Jackson) pose for a painting.

Recurring Characters: Prince, Beyonce Knowles.

Transcript

Cork SoakersSummary: Expert cork soakers (Jimmy Fallon, Horatio Sanz) discuss their craft with doulbe entendres.

Transcript

Janet Jackson performs “Strawberry Bounce”

Good TimesSummary: An amalgam of episodes focuses on the Evans family’s hopes for a huge lottery payoff.

Transcript

Boom BoomerSummary: Drug-induced paranoia makes the game more fun.

GoodnightsTranscript

Dress Rehearsal Cuts

TV FunhouseSummary: Rob Smigel presents a cartoon about Donald Trump.

Note: This cartoon was also cut last week when Donald Trump hosted.

The SleepoverSummary: Kaitlin (Amy Poehler) invites the most popular girl (Janet Jackson) at school over for a sleepover.

Recurring Characters: Kaitlin, Rick.

ControlSummary: Advertising executives (Fred Armsien, Chris Parnell) want to use Janet Jackson’s song, “Control”, for an adult diaper commercial.

Boombox BarrySummary: Bombox Barry (Horatio Sanz) wanders the streets in search of Pedro.

Jayson WilliamsSummary: Jayson Williams (Finesse Mitchell) discusses his recent scandal with his lawyers.

Note: This sketch was also cut from last week’s episode with Donald Trump.

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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