SNL Transcripts: Janet Jackson: 04/10/04: An Easter Treat From Saturday Night Live



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 29: Episode 17



03q: Janet Jackson

An Easter Treat From Saturday Night Live

…..Jimmy Fallon
…..Horatio Sanz
…..Tracy Morgan
…..Chris Kattan
…..Simon Cowell

Don Pardo: And now a special Easter treat from Saturday Night Live.

(Jimmy Fallon, Horatio Sanz, Tracy Morgan, and Chris Kattan step out from behind Easter eggs)

Horatio Sanz: One

Jimmy Fallon: Two

Horatio Sanz: One

Jimmy Fallon: Two

Horatio Sanz: Three

Jimmy Fallon: Four

Horatio Sanz: (music starts)
I don’t care that tomorrow is Easter
Christmas is number one.
I don’t care about colored eggs
Christmas toys are more fun.
I don’t care about marshmallow peeps
The Cadbury bunny gives me the creeps.
I wish it was Christmas today
262 days away.
(music stops)

Jimmy Fallon: Well, What do you think?

Simon Cowell: Absolutely awful! It was truely atrocious, and I’m at a loss for words.

Chris Kattan: Hey, that’s mean, we’re just singing about Christmas.

Simon Cowell: That’s exactly my point. Why are you singing about Christmas in the middle of April? And you, what do you do exactly?

Chris Kattan: Me? I go like this. (shakes head back and forth)

Simon Cowell: Whoopie! I’d rather let William Hung lick honey off my nipples than listen to you lot for another second. And he’s offered.

Tracy Morgan: I’m gonna kick this dude’s ass!

Jimmy Fallon: No! Hold up, Tracy.

Tracy Morgan: Hey man if you think you’re so hot, why don’t you get up here and try?

Simon Cowell: Do you honestly think that I would want to join your sorry little combo? Are you serious?

Jimmy Fallon: Come on Simon, You know you wanna.

Simon Cowell: No, no I don’t.

Jimmy Fallon: Yeah, you do.

Simon Cowell: No, I don’t.

Jimmy Fallon: Yeah, ya do.

Simon Cowell: Yes, I would actually. I’d actually like that very much. Do you know no one’s ever given me the chance. I’ve never actually been included in anything.

Horatio Sanz: Is that why you’re such a jerk?

Simon Cowell: Well, that’s what my therapist says.

Jimmy Fallon: Well come on up here man. Come on up!

Simon Cowell: Well, I did bring my maracas.

Tracy Morgan: You gotta get more color in your wardrobe, those black t-shirts are bringing you down. (Hands Simon a pink sweater) Drop this like it’s hot.

Horatio Sanz: You ready, Simon?

Simon Cowell: Yeah.

Horatio Sanz: One.

Jimmy Fallon: Two.

Horatio Sanz: One.

Jimmy Fallon: Two.

Horatio Sanz: Three.

Jimmy Fallon: Four.

Horatio Sanz: (music starts)
I don’t care what your mama says
Christmas is full of cheer.
I don’t care what your daddy says
Christmas will soon be here.
I don’t care if you think you’re so cool
Working with that black dude and Paula Abdul.

All:
I wish it was Christmas today
I wish it was Christmas today.

(music stops, all take a bow)

Submitted by: Julian Spivey

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

avatar
  Subscribe  
Notify of