Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 29: Episode 17
The Prince Show
Prince…..Fred Armisen
Beyonce…..Maya Rudolph
Paula Abdul…..Janet Jackson
Steve Harvey…..Kenan Thompson
Prince: Dearly beloved we are gathered her to get through this thing called my talk show. So dig if you will my co-host Miss Beyonce Knowles.
Beyonce: (singing) “Prince Show.”
Prince: (singing) “Everybody wants to be free.”
Beyonce: “The Prince Show.”
Prince: “..and ride in my limousine.”
Beyonce: “Its the Prince Show.”
Prince: “Come take a ride with me.”
Both:
“Jump in under the waterfall
And climb the rainbow tree.”
(Prince whispers into Beyonces ear she interprets)
Beyonce: Prince wants everyone to know that he is excited about the show. He is, too, but He is too shy.
Voiceover: “The Prince Show,” with co-host Beyonce.
(The music continues, next we see Prince setting in a purple chair with Beyonce standing beside him.)
Prince: My first guest is forever my girl please welcome Miss Paula Abdul.
Paula Abdul: Prince, your energy is wonderful to be around you are a true star. Dont ever let anyone ever tell you any different.
Beyonce: Paula, your talking has scared Prince.
Paula Abdul: Im sorry I just wanted him to know how charged up I was to be here
Prince: So, Paula, I wonder do you miss cheerleading?
Paula Abdul: Uhm, that is a tough one. I definately miss cheerleading. But, I dont miss being not famous.
Prince: Paula, do you think a lover can be a friend?
Paula Abdul: As long as both spirits and energies match, it will work. They also need to not go through each other’s mail. Cuz that happened to me once and (said through clenched teeth) I WENT OFF!!!! (looks around) Where did Prince go?
Beyonce: Set still, Paula. Prince wants to paint your picture
Paula Abdul: I would be honored. I, I would be so, I would be so honored. Should I do one of my famous dance poses?
Beyonce: Uh, no. Prince wants you to go stand in that clam.
Paula Abdul: That one back there?
Beyonce: Uh huh, and Prince wants you to hold on to this giant pearl, too.
Paula Abdul: This pearl is beautiful. (big smile) And so unique.
Prince: Every court has a jester, and in My kingdom its Mr. Steve Harvey.
Steve Harvey: Heh heh heh woo heh heh heh! Now look, I dont know about you but, I was at a Starbuck’s yesterday waiting in the line .. See Beyonce knows what Im talking about. (Prince and Beyonce stare with blank looks on their faces) Anyway, I was behind a girl that had a butt that was SO big!
Prince: How big was it?
Steve Harvey: Her butt was so big people, mistaked it for a counter. I mean they were resting they coffees ON IT. It was a tip jar ON IT. People was putting they milk and Sugar ON IT. Doing up they coffee ON IT.
Paula Abdul: (from the clam still holding the giant pearl) You are a true gem. Your funny is so unique to you.
Beyonce: Uh oh, Prince has put on his wonder mask. Prince what do you see?
Prince: (singing)
“I see Rhonda and Kathy in the river
I see Kirk jammin’ in the studio
I seeeeeeeeee Tonie enjoying herself in the mirror
I see Suzanne in the nude eating cherries.”
Steve Harvey: Hey um, do you see me in there anywhere?
Prince: (still singing) “And I see Steve Harvey eating chips on his couch in his boxers.”
Steve Harvey: (interrupting) Heh heh, the thing about boxers they dont support your stuff you be flappin’ around .. (looks around) Where, where did Prince go?
Beyonce: Prince wants everyone to see him cry. But dont worry, it’s tears of joy, ‘cuz there is so much beauty in the world.
Prince: (music and Princecrying Prince pulls out a handkerchief and wipes his tears)
Paula Abdul: Excuse me.. (trying not to laugh) How long do I have to stand here and hold this? (breaking character by laughing)
Prince: Until you become delirious . Im through with this!
(Prince Show theme playing)
Beyonce: (Singing) “Prince Show.”
Prince: “Everyone wants to be free.”
Beyonce: “It’s Prince, YO!”
Prince: “..and ride in my limousine.”
Beyonce: “It’s Prince, oh.”
Prince: “Come take a ride with me.”
Prince, Beyonce & Paula Abdul: (singing)
“Jump in under the waterfall
And climb the rainbow tree.”
Steve Harvey: The rainbow tree.
Submitted by: Terry G. Mitchell
