Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 29: Episode 19
03s: Snoop Dogg / Avril Lavigne
TV Funhouse
[open on black and white image of marijuana leaf with title: “Pothead Theater”]
Announcer: Pothead Theater! [title is removed, and small images of clips from many different programs move from left to right across the screen] For centuries, man has designed cartoons with no regard for the inclinations of the pothead. Tonight, for the first time, TV Funhouse allows potheads to determine the cartoons they want to enjoy on Pothead Theater!
[dissolve Pothead #1, wearing a yellow shirt that reads, “Farmer’s Daugheter Motel,” in a large paved area with people in the background]
Pothead #1: I’d like to see a dog walking people.
[dissolve to animation: a dog stands upright and escorts a leashed man and woman walking on all fours]
[pleasant music plays]
[music stops]
[dissolve to Pothead #1, who is laughing hysterically]
[dissolve to Pothead Theater title screen]
Announcer: Pothead Theater!
[dissolve to Pothead #2, sitting by a tree and with a guitar next to him]
Pothead #2: How about a fish catching people? [flashes hippie love sign]
[dissolve to animation: a green fish sits on a pier with a fishing pole, and lifts it up to reveal a man hooked by his mouth]
[pleasant music plays]
[music stops]
[dissolve to Pothead #2, who chuckles and flashes love sign again]
[dissolve to Pothead Theater title screen]
Announcer: Pothead Theater!
[dissolve to Pothead #3, sitting in a field]
Pothead #3: Have ketchup shaking people out of a bottle.
[dissolve to animation: a large blob of ketchup smacks the bottom of a ketchup bottle filled with people, until several plop out onto a plate]
[pleasant music plays]
[music stops]
[dissolve to Pothead #3, who is laughing hysterically]
[dissolve to Pothead Theater title screen]
Announcer: Pothead Theater!
[dissolve to Pothead #4, wearing a black shirt that reads, “Don’t Steal,” and Pothead #5, wearing a grey shirt that reads, “Almost Famous,” standing near a park of some sort]
Pothead #4: Have balloon animals twist people. [Pothead #5 laughs]
[dissolve to animation: a red balloon dog twists a man into the same dog shape]
[pleasant music plays]
[music stops]
[dissolve to Pothead #4 and Pothead #5, who are laughing hysterically]
Pothead #4: Thank you! Thank you!
[dissolve to Pothead Theater title screen]
Announcer: Pothead Theater!
[dissolve to female pothead, wearing messenger bag and in same setting as Pothead #1]
Female Pothead: How about one with the environment exploiting people.
[dissolve to animation: a deciduous tree operates a conveyor belt as people on it pass through a machine and are turned into small objects that an evergreen tree places into a box]
[pleasant music plays]
[music stops]
[dissolve to female pothead, who cackles and covers her mouth]
[dissolve to Pothead Theater title screen]
Announcer: Pothead Theater!
[dissolve to Pothead #6 and Pothead #7, wearing hats and sitting in paved amphitheatre]
Pothead #6: You could have TVs watching people.
[dissolve to animation: a television set sits on a small wooden stand while a man sits on an easy chair, and they face each other across a room; it is indistinguishable from a man watching television]
[pleasant music plays]
[music stops]
[dissolve to Pothead #6 and Pothead #7, who have no reaction]
[dissolve to Pothead Theater title screen]
Announcer: Pothead Theater!
Submitted by: DavidK93
