SNL Transcripts: Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen: 05/15/04: Mary-Kate & Ashley Perfume

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 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 29: Episode 20



03t: Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen / J-Kwon

Mary-Kate & Ashley Perfume

Male Announcer…..Chris Parnell
Female Announcer…..Maya Rudolph
…..Mary-Kate Olsen
…..Ashley Olsen

[ open on product, cutting between it and the Olsen Twins with fan wind blowing through their hair ]

Male Announcer: Hey.. you’re a complex lady, with complex needs. And, for you, one scent just isn’t enough.

Female Announcer: No, it’s not.

Male Announcer: You need something for your elegant side.

Female Announcer: Ashley.

Male Announcer: And your wild side.

Female Announcer: Mary-Kate.

Male Announcer: ‘Cause you’re never just one thing.

Female Announcer: You’re two.

Male Announcer: Sometimes you go to the theater.

Female Announcer: Ashley.

Male Announcer: And sometimes you hit the clubs.

Female Announcer: Mary-Kate.

Male Announcer: Two frangrances, both completely unique.

Female Announcer: Yet, remarkably similar.

Male Announcer: So, what are you in the mood for, ladies? A drive in a Rolls Royce?

Female Announcer: Ashley.

Male Announcer: Or a Mazzaratti?

Female Announcer: Mary-Kate.

Male Announcer: ‘Cause you need something to wear to work.

Female Announcer: Ashley.

Male Announcer: And something to wear Saturday night.

Female Announcer: Mary-Kate.

Male Announcer: And something for Sunday morning.

Female Announcer: Ashley.

Male Announcer: And something for Sunday afternoon, say around threeish.

Female Announcer: Mary-Kate.

Male Announcer: But, what about holidays?

Female Announcer: Ashley.

Male Announcer: Jewish holidays?

Female Announcer: Mary-Kate.

Male Announcer: ‘Cause you’re a woman with many sides.

Female Announcer: Primarily two.

Male Announcer: So be ready for everything.

Female Announcer: Literally.

Male Announcer: Coal mining.

Female Announcer: Ashley.

Male Announcer: Tornadoes.

Female Announcer: Mary-Kate.

Male Announcer: Spearfishing.

Female Announcer: Ashley.

Male Announcer: Banjo lessons.

Female Announcer: Mary-Kate.

Male Announcer: Taxidermy.

Female Announcer: Ashley.

Male Announcer: Knee surgery.

Female Announcer: Mary-Kate.

Male Announcer: Mary-Kate and Ashley.

Female Announcer: For every occasion.

[ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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