Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 29: Episode 20
03t: Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen / J-Kwon
Mary-Kate & Ashley Perfume
Male Announcer…..Chris Parnell
Female Announcer…..Maya Rudolph
…..Mary-Kate Olsen
…..Ashley Olsen
[ open on product, cutting between it and the Olsen Twins with fan wind blowing through their hair ]
Male Announcer: Hey.. you’re a complex lady, with complex needs. And, for you, one scent just isn’t enough.
Female Announcer: No, it’s not.
Male Announcer: You need something for your elegant side.
Female Announcer: Ashley.
Male Announcer: And your wild side.
Female Announcer: Mary-Kate.
Male Announcer: ‘Cause you’re never just one thing.
Female Announcer: You’re two.
Male Announcer: Sometimes you go to the theater.
Female Announcer: Ashley.
Male Announcer: And sometimes you hit the clubs.
Female Announcer: Mary-Kate.
Male Announcer: Two frangrances, both completely unique.
Female Announcer: Yet, remarkably similar.
Male Announcer: So, what are you in the mood for, ladies? A drive in a Rolls Royce?
Female Announcer: Ashley.
Male Announcer: Or a Mazzaratti?
Female Announcer: Mary-Kate.
Male Announcer: ‘Cause you need something to wear to work.
Female Announcer: Ashley.
Male Announcer: And something to wear Saturday night.
Female Announcer: Mary-Kate.
Male Announcer: And something for Sunday morning.
Female Announcer: Ashley.
Male Announcer: And something for Sunday afternoon, say around threeish.
Female Announcer: Mary-Kate.
Male Announcer: But, what about holidays?
Female Announcer: Ashley.
Male Announcer: Jewish holidays?
Female Announcer: Mary-Kate.
Male Announcer: ‘Cause you’re a woman with many sides.
Female Announcer: Primarily two.
Male Announcer: So be ready for everything.
Female Announcer: Literally.
Male Announcer: Coal mining.
Female Announcer: Ashley.
Male Announcer: Tornadoes.
Female Announcer: Mary-Kate.
Male Announcer: Spearfishing.
Female Announcer: Ashley.
Male Announcer: Banjo lessons.
Female Announcer: Mary-Kate.
Male Announcer: Taxidermy.
Female Announcer: Ashley.
Male Announcer: Knee surgery.
Female Announcer: Mary-Kate.
Male Announcer: Mary-Kate and Ashley.
Female Announcer: For every occasion.
[ fade ]
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