SNL Transcripts: Kate Winslet: 10/30/04


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 30: Episode 4

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


October 30th, 2004

Kate Winslet



Johnny Damon

NBC Special ReportSummary: Osama bin Laden (Seth Meyers) delivers a videotaped message about the U.S. Election and Ashlee Simpson’s appearance on last week’s episode of “Saturday Night Live.”

Recurring Characters: Tom Brokaw, Osama bin Laden.



Kate Winslet’s MonologueSummary: Following last week’s Ashlee Simpson debacle, Kate Winslet sings and dances in order to prove that the show really is live.

Bio: Kate Winslet (1975-). Actress; often prefers to play “devilish damsels” on film rather than traditional starlet roles; films include “Titanic” (1997) and “Finding Neverland” (2004).

Rap NightSummary: Extremely overweight rapper Chubb Hottie (Horatio Sanz) welcomes singer/songwriter Norah Jones (Kate Winslet).

Recurring Characters: Chubb Hottie, DJ Sugar Shock.


Mrs. Dr. FrankensteinSummary: Mrs. Dr. Frankenstein (Kate Winslet) builds her perfect man (Fred Armisen), who turns out to be a gay monster.

Recurring Characters: Frankenstein.

TV FunhouseSummary: Rob Smigel cartoon pokes fun of John McCain, who can’t bring himself to deliver a Bush campaign support speech.

Clinton’s EndorsementSummary: While helping out on his campaign, Bill Clinton (Darrell Hammond) receives greater praise than John Kerry (Seth Meyers).

Recurring Characters: John Kerry, Bruce Springsteen, Clarence Clemons, Teresa Heinz Kerry, Bill Clinton.

Eminem performs “Mosh”First Performed: 99c.

Weekend Update with Tina Fey & Amy PoehlerSummary: Seth Meyers and Johnny Damon are thrilled by the Red Sox’s World Series win. Will Forte belches out his favorite Halloween songs. After becoming a naturalized citizen of the United States, Diego (Fred Armisen) explores Democracy Plaza. Elton John (Horatio Sanz) comments on Ashlee Simpson’s lip-synching debacle.

Recurring Characters: Elton John.

Bio: Johnny Damon (1973-). Athlete; outfielder for the Boston Red Sox, 2002-05.

Kaitlin At The MallSummary: Kaitlin (Amy Poehler) begs her older cousin (Kate Winslet) to pierce her ears.

Recurring Characters: Kaitlin, Rick.

Eminem with Proof performs “Just Lose It”Bio: Proof (1973-2006). Rapper; appeared with Eminem in the film “8 Mile” (2002); shot to death outside a Detroit club after killing a military veteran.

Goodwin Wig & ToySummary: Glenda Goodwin (Maya Rudolph) only sells non-frightening Halloween costumes.

Recurring Characters: Glenda Goodwin.


Election Map ColorsSummary: Prior to reporting election coverage, Tim Russert (Darrell Hammond) and Tom Brokaw (Chris Parnell) try to pick a neutral color to represent the uncounted states.

Recurring Characters: Tim Russert, Tom Brokaw.



Dress Rehearsal Cuts

Halloween InterventionSummary: Friends gather round at a Halloween party to helptheir heavy-drinking friend (Chris Parnell).

Fight Back with Victor RamosSummary: Victor Ramos (Horatio Sanz) shows a Chicago Transit Authority employee (Kate Winslet) the proper way to fight terrorism.

Note: This sketch will eventually air in next season’s episode hosted by Dane Cook.

DivorceSummary: Parents (Chris Parnell, Kate Winslet) struggle to find a way to break the news of their impending divorce to their children (Rachel Dratch, Amy Poehler, Will Forte).

Mexican FiestaSummary: Pitchman (Fred Armisen) promotes a Mexican spice that turns taco eaters into offensive Mexican stereotypes.

Its HappeningsSummary: Terrye Funck (Chris Parnell) hosts his cable access show from a low-rent buffet.

Recurring Characters: Terry Funcke.

John Kerry AdSummary: Women are eager to vote for John Kerry (Seth Meyers).

Recurring Characters: John Kerry.

Restraining OrderSummary: In a short film, a man (Scott Wainio) has a restraining order placed on him.

Bear CitySummary: Frustration culminates when a bear tries to get cigarettes from a gas station.

Note: This short film will air in the episode hosted by Paris Hilton.

Bear CitySummary: In high school, a boy bear’s friends embarrass him in front of a group of girl bears.

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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