Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 30: Episode 8
04h: Robert De Niro / Destiny’s Child
Season’s Greetings From “Saturday Night Live”
…..Horatio Sanz
…..Kermit the Frog (Muppeteer: Steve Whitmire)
…..Fozzie Bear (Muppeteer: Eric Jacobson)
…..The Great Gonzo (Muppeteer: Dave Goelz)
…..Animal (Muppeteer: David Rudman)
Don Pardo: And now a very special Christmas treat from all of us at “Saturday Night Live”.
[show Horatio Sanz all dressed in red. Horatio is playing a lute, standing by a short brick wall, as jingle bells and drum beat plays in the background. ]
Horatio Sanz: One… Two… One- Two- Three
[Horatio signals to stop the music. The music stops.]
Horatio Sanz: Jimmy? Tracy? Kattan? Guys?
[ Kermit enters, wearing a Christmas sweater and Ssanta hat]
Kermit: Horatio, is something wrong? Can I help?
Horatio Sanz: Oh, hi Kermit.
Kermit: Hi there.
Horatio Sanz: Oh, I’m just a little blue, cause there’s no one here to sing my Christmas song with me.
Kermit: Oh my guys can do it! Right guys?
[Fozzie, Animal, and Gonzo enter dressed in red Christmas sweaters. Animal is caring a keyboard with a built-in drum machine. ]
Fozzie and Gonzo: Yeah. Sure. Sure.
Horatio Sanz: You guys you guys know my Christmas song?
Kermit: Yeah.
Gonzo: Yeah, of course we know your song. You’ve sung it like three times a year for the past four years.
Fozzie: Yeah, I mean even Hans and Franz changed a few lines once and a while.
Animal: Hans and Franz! Hans and Franz! Hans and Frans! Ahh-ha-ha-ha
Horatio Sanz: Wow, you guys are really going to sing my song with me?
Kermit: Oh sure we would. You ready, guys?
Fozzie and Gonzo: Oh Yeah. Yeah.
Kermit: All right, hit it!
[drums, and bells begin again]
Horatio Sanz: One
Fozzie: Two…
Horatio Sanz: One-
Fozzie: Two-
Horatio Sanz: Three-
Fozzie: Four!
[ they start playing. Snow starts to fall.]
Horatio Sanz: “I don’t care what your momma says, Christmas time is nee-ear!“
Fozzie: “I don’t care what your papa says, Christmas will soon be here!”“
Horatio Sanz: “All I know is that Santa’s Claus don’t care about breaking no flying laws.“
Fozzie: “He brings toys to boys and girls.“
Horatio Sanz: “In every nook and cranny in this crazy old world.“
Fozzie: Yeah!
Horatio, Kermit, Fozzie, and Gonzo:
“I wish it was Christmas todaa-ay!
I wish it was Christmas todaa-ay!”
Kermit: Get down!
Horatio Sanz: “I don’t care what anybody says cause Christmas time is dee-ear!“
Gonzo: “I don’t care what anyone says-Christmas is full of chee-eer!“
Fozzie and Horatio: “I don’t care about the five o’clock news. I don’t care if our lights blow out a fuse. I wish it was Christmas todaa-ay, in the good old U. S. of A!“
Horatio, Kermit, Fozzie, and Gonzo: “I wish it was Christmas todaa-ay!“
Gonzo: Whoo!
Kermit: Ahh, play it!
Animal: Christmas! Christmas!
Kermit: Yeah!
[ they stop playing, and bow to the audience ]
Submitted by: GelflingWaldo
