SNL Transcripts: Paul Giamatti: 01/22/05: Paul Giamatti’s Monologue

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 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 30: Episode 10



04j: Paul Giamatti / Ludacris, featuring Sum-41

Paul Giamatti’s Monologue

…..Paul Giamatti

Paul Giamatti: Thank you! Thank you very much! Thank you, thank you, thank you! Very nice, very nice! Well, well, well, well, well, thank you so much! You know, I want to say that is truly great to be hosting “Saturday Night Live”! Thank you! [ audience cheers ] And.. I – really, really, honestly – I want to thank all of you for coming out in the blizzard. Honestly, First big snowstorm of the new year. Beautiful out there – right? Right? You know, we weren’t sure we gonna get an audience – right? It’s really coming down. But, now, me and 400 of my new best friends, we’re gonna have a sleepover! Right, gang!

[ audience screams with applause ]

Yeah! You know, now, last week I was at the Golden Globes, out in sunny L.A., because my movie “Sideways” was nominated, and — [ audience cheers ] And that was really great, you know? I sat two tables down from the “Desperate Housewives, and, uh.. they weren’t as desperate as I would have hoped. Ah, a man can dream! But, it was a great night. It was filled with great moments, beautiful speeches. Did you all see Jamie Foxx’s speech? Wow! Wow! [ audience applauds ] I, actually, I cried. But not for the same reason that everybody else did. But, uh.. but, as an actor, I have to say it was a real honor to be in the same room with all of those people. I mean.. Martin Scorcese, Meryl Streep, Clint Eastwood.. Clint Eastwood! Clint Eastwood was at the table right next to mine. I mean, I was so close to the man I could put my fingers in his soup. Which I did! Let me say that! [ mimes the gesture ]

Mick Jagger was there. Mick Jagger! Right? He was there with his daugh- granddaugh- his wi- frie- something, I don’t know. Actually, I don’t really know who she was, but she was very lovely, actually.

Anyway, the whole night was absolutely amazing. And, tonight is going to be even more amazing than that. I am very happy to be here! So, please, cozy up. We’ve got a great show. Ludacris and Sum-41 are here! So you stick around! We’ll be right back!

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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