SNL Transcripts: Paul Giamatti: 01/22/05: Paul Giamatti’s Monologue

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 30: Episode 10

04j: Paul Giamatti / Ludacris, featuring Sum-41

Paul Giamatti’s Monologue

…..Paul Giamatti

Paul Giamatti: Thank you! Thank you very much! Thank you, thank you, thank you! Very nice, very nice! Well, well, well, well, well, thank you so much! You know, I want to say that is truly great to be hosting “Saturday Night Live”! Thank you! [ audience cheers ] And.. I – really, really, honestly – I want to thank all of you for coming out in the blizzard. Honestly, First big snowstorm of the new year. Beautiful out there – right? Right? You know, we weren’t sure we gonna get an audience – right? It’s really coming down. But, now, me and 400 of my new best friends, we’re gonna have a sleepover! Right, gang!

[ audience screams with applause ]

Yeah! You know, now, last week I was at the Golden Globes, out in sunny L.A., because my movie “Sideways” was nominated, and — [ audience cheers ] And that was really great, you know? I sat two tables down from the “Desperate Housewives, and, uh.. they weren’t as desperate as I would have hoped. Ah, a man can dream! But, it was a great night. It was filled with great moments, beautiful speeches. Did you all see Jamie Foxx’s speech? Wow! Wow! [ audience applauds ] I, actually, I cried. But not for the same reason that everybody else did. But, uh.. but, as an actor, I have to say it was a real honor to be in the same room with all of those people. I mean.. Martin Scorcese, Meryl Streep, Clint Eastwood.. Clint Eastwood! Clint Eastwood was at the table right next to mine. I mean, I was so close to the man I could put my fingers in his soup. Which I did! Let me say that! [ mimes the gesture ]

Mick Jagger was there. Mick Jagger! Right? He was there with his daugh- granddaugh- his wi- frie- something, I don’t know. Actually, I don’t really know who she was, but she was very lovely, actually.

Anyway, the whole night was absolutely amazing. And, tonight is going to be even more amazing than that. I am very happy to be here! So, please, cozy up. We’ve got a great show. Ludacris and Sum-41 are here! So you stick around! We’ll be right back!

SNL Transcripts

Notify of