SNL Transcripts: Paris Hilton: 02/05/05: Cheapkids.net II



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 30: Episode 11



04k: Paris Hilton / Keane

Cheapkids.net II

Paul….Seth Meyers
Paul’s wife….Amy Poehler
Gary B. Anthony….Chris Parnell

Announcer: Now an important message from [Gary’s voice] cheapkids.net.

[Opens with the yuppie couple sitting on chaise lounge chairs on the beach taking a little sun. A waiter brings them drinks. Their two children are playing in the sand and their skin is red-hot from too much sun.]

Paul: We love to encourage our children to read but with children’s books costing $10 to $15 each, its just not worth it.

[Cut to Gary]

Gary B. Anthony: I couldn’t agree more.

Caption: Gary B. Anthony. CEO cheapkids.net

Gary B. Anthony: But what about a beloved children’s classic beautifully illustrated, educational and only 8 cents? Why 8 cents? This edition of “Baby’s first speller”[Cover of the book] due to a typesetting malfunction and some sloppy proofreading is literally riddled with spelling errors but, come on, 8 cents!

[Book is on the letters B and C. Batt= bat, Bpd=bed, Bul=bull. Catt=cat, Cpu= cup, C!5q]

Gary B. Anthony: You see, at cheapkids.net we’re about one thing—saving you money.

[Paul and his wife are on a plane flying First Class. Champagne is served to them.]

Wife: Should I go back to Coach and check on them?

[Paul lowers his expensive shades and looks at her]

Paul: You were just back there 2 hours ago. They’re fine.

[Camera pans to the curtain separating First Class from Coach. We can hear the children crying.]

Child’s Voice: Mommy!

Gary B. Anthony: cheapkids.net. Because when it comes to your children, why pay more?

Caption: Cheapkids.net. When it comes to your children, why pay more?

[fade]

Submitted by: Waldo San Miguel

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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