Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 30: Episode 11
Paul’s wife….Amy Poehler
Gary B. Anthony….Chris Parnell
Announcer: Now an important message from [Gary’s voice] cheapkids.net.[Opens with the yuppie couple sitting on chaise lounge chairs on the beach taking a little sun. A waiter brings them drinks. Their two children are playing in the sand and their skin is red-hot from too much sun.]
Paul: We love to encourage our children to read but with children’s books costing $10 to $15 each, its just not worth it.[Cut to Gary]
Gary B. Anthony: I couldn’t agree more.
Caption: Gary B. Anthony. CEO cheapkids.net
Gary B. Anthony: But what about a beloved children’s classic beautifully illustrated, educational and only 8 cents? Why 8 cents? This edition of “Baby’s first speller”[Cover of the book] due to a typesetting malfunction and some sloppy proofreading is literally riddled with spelling errors but, come on, 8 cents![Book is on the letters B and C. Batt= bat, Bpd=bed, Bul=bull. Catt=cat, Cpu= cup, C!5q]
Gary B. Anthony: You see, at cheapkids.net we’re about one thing—saving you money.[Paul and his wife are on a plane flying First Class. Champagne is served to them.]
Wife: Should I go back to Coach and check on them?[Paul lowers his expensive shades and looks at her]
Paul: You were just back there 2 hours ago. They’re fine.[Camera pans to the curtain separating First Class from Coach. We can hear the children crying.]
Child’s Voice: Mommy!
Gary B. Anthony: cheapkids.net. Because when it comes to your children, why pay more?
Caption: Cheapkids.net. When it comes to your children, why pay more?[fade]
Submitted by: Waldo San Miguel