Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 30: Episode 15
Kevin Federline…..Ashton Kutcher
V/O: Britney Spears’ husband, Kevin Federline.[Shot of Kevin Federline sprawled out on bed, all shot in black and white like a Calvin Klein commercial]
Kevin Federline: Federline, yo.[shot of thumbs pulling on underwear band showing “Federline” ]
Kevin Federline: I look like I might stink, yo. But I don’t.
Kevin Federline: Come over here. Check it.[Thumbs pulling on underwear band again]
Kevin Federline: Federline, yo.[Kevin picks up Us Magazine]
Kevin Federline: I’m in a lot of these. You jealous? [whispers] I think so.[Kevin rolls around on bed]
Kevin Federline: Federline, yo.[Kevin rolls over on bed]
Kevin Federline: I’m bustin’ out; doin’ my own thing. Just don’t tell Britney, yo.[Thumbs pulling on underwear band again]
Kevin Federline: Federline, yo. Britney thinks I look best in my underwear.
Kevin Federline: By the way, Britney keeps her underwear over there.[shot of underwear on bedpost]
Kevin Federline: And over here.[shot of undewear on lamp]
Kevin Federline: And over there in that big pile.[shot of big pile of underwear on the floor]
Kevin Federline: Most of the time she keeps them in my mouth. Just kidding. No I’m not. [looks down] Yes I am. [looks up] No I’m not. [looks down] Yes I am. [looks up] I’m flippin’, yo.[Girl in underwear walks in to shot, Kevin looks at her and back at camera]
Kevin Federline: I might be in trouble, yo.[Shot of underwear packaging]
V/O: Britney Spears’ husband Kevin Federline for Federline Briefs. Man panties for wiggers.
Submitted by: Scott L.