SNL Transcripts: Ashton Kutcher: 03/19/05: Federline


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 30: Episode 15

04o: Ashton Kutcher / Gwen Stefani


Kevin Federline…..Ashton Kutcher
V/O…..Maya Rudolph

V/O: Britney Spears’ husband, Kevin Federline.

[Shot of Kevin Federline sprawled out on bed, all shot in black and white like a Calvin Klein commercial]

Kevin Federline: Federline, yo.

[shot of thumbs pulling on underwear band showing “Federline” ]

Kevin Federline: I look like I might stink, yo. But I don’t.

[Kevin smells own armpit]

Kevin Federline: Come over here. Check it.

[Thumbs pulling on underwear band again]

Kevin Federline: Federline, yo.

[Kevin picks up Us Magazine]

Kevin Federline: I’m in a lot of these. You jealous? [whispers] I think so.

[Kevin rolls around on bed]

Kevin Federline: Federline, yo.

[Kevin rolls over on bed]

Kevin Federline: I’m bustin’ out; doin’ my own thing. Just don’t tell Britney, yo.

[Thumbs pulling on underwear band again]

Kevin Federline: Federline, yo. Britney thinks I look best in my underwear.

[Shot of underwear packaging]

Kevin Federline: By the way, Britney keeps her underwear over there.

[shot of underwear on bedpost]

Kevin Federline: And over here.

[shot of undewear on lamp]

Kevin Federline: And over there in that big pile.

[shot of big pile of underwear on the floor]

Kevin Federline: Most of the time she keeps them in my mouth. Just kidding. No I’m not. [looks down] Yes I am. [looks up] No I’m not. [looks down] Yes I am. [looks up] I’m flippin’, yo.

[Girl in underwear walks in to shot, Kevin looks at her and back at camera]

Kevin Federline: I might be in trouble, yo.

[Shot of underwear packaging]

V/O: Britney Spears’ husband Kevin Federline for Federline Briefs. Man panties for wiggers.

Submitted by: Scott L.

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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