SNL Transcripts: Ashton Kutcher: 03/19/05: Federline


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 30: Episode 15

04o: Ashton Kutcher / Gwen Stefani


Kevin Federline…..Ashton Kutcher
V/O…..Maya Rudolph

V/O: Britney Spears’ husband, Kevin Federline.

[Shot of Kevin Federline sprawled out on bed, all shot in black and white like a Calvin Klein commercial]

Kevin Federline: Federline, yo.

[shot of thumbs pulling on underwear band showing “Federline” ]

Kevin Federline: I look like I might stink, yo. But I don’t.

[Kevin smells own armpit]

Kevin Federline: Come over here. Check it.

[Thumbs pulling on underwear band again]

Kevin Federline: Federline, yo.

[Kevin picks up Us Magazine]

Kevin Federline: I’m in a lot of these. You jealous? [whispers] I think so.

[Kevin rolls around on bed]

Kevin Federline: Federline, yo.

[Kevin rolls over on bed]

Kevin Federline: I’m bustin’ out; doin’ my own thing. Just don’t tell Britney, yo.

[Thumbs pulling on underwear band again]

Kevin Federline: Federline, yo. Britney thinks I look best in my underwear.

[Shot of underwear packaging]

Kevin Federline: By the way, Britney keeps her underwear over there.

[shot of underwear on bedpost]

Kevin Federline: And over here.

[shot of undewear on lamp]

Kevin Federline: And over there in that big pile.

[shot of big pile of underwear on the floor]

Kevin Federline: Most of the time she keeps them in my mouth. Just kidding. No I’m not. [looks down] Yes I am. [looks up] No I’m not. [looks down] Yes I am. [looks up] I’m flippin’, yo.

[Girl in underwear walks in to shot, Kevin looks at her and back at camera]

Kevin Federline: I might be in trouble, yo.

[Shot of underwear packaging]

V/O: Britney Spears’ husband Kevin Federline for Federline Briefs. Man panties for wiggers.

Submitted by: Scott L.

SNL Transcripts

How useful was this post?

Click on a star to rate it!

Average rating 0 / 5. Vote count: 0

No votes so far! Be the first to rate this post.

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

Notify of
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments