Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 30: Episode 15
04o: Ashton Kutcher / Gwen Stefani
Federline
Kevin Federline…..Ashton Kutcher
V/O…..Maya Rudolph
V/O: Britney Spears’ husband, Kevin Federline.
[Shot of Kevin Federline sprawled out on bed, all shot in black and white like a Calvin Klein commercial]Kevin Federline: Federline, yo.
[shot of thumbs pulling on underwear band showing “Federline” ]Kevin Federline: I look like I might stink, yo. But I don’t.
Kevin Federline: Come over here. Check it.
[Thumbs pulling on underwear band again]Kevin Federline: Federline, yo.
[Kevin picks up Us Magazine]Kevin Federline: I’m in a lot of these. You jealous? [whispers] I think so.
[Kevin rolls around on bed]Kevin Federline: Federline, yo.
[Kevin rolls over on bed]Kevin Federline: I’m bustin’ out; doin’ my own thing. Just don’t tell Britney, yo.
[Thumbs pulling on underwear band again]Kevin Federline: Federline, yo. Britney thinks I look best in my underwear.
Kevin Federline: By the way, Britney keeps her underwear over there.
[shot of underwear on bedpost]Kevin Federline: And over here.
[shot of undewear on lamp]Kevin Federline: And over there in that big pile.
[shot of big pile of underwear on the floor]Kevin Federline: Most of the time she keeps them in my mouth. Just kidding. No I’m not. [looks down] Yes I am. [looks up] No I’m not. [looks down] Yes I am. [looks up] I’m flippin’, yo.
[Girl in underwear walks in to shot, Kevin looks at her and back at camera]Kevin Federline: I might be in trouble, yo.
[Shot of underwear packaging]V/O: Britney Spears’ husband Kevin Federline for Federline Briefs. Man panties for wiggers.
Submitted by: Scott L.