SNL Transcripts: Tom Brady: 04/16/05: Behind The Music: The Super Bowl Shuffle


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 30: Episode 17







04q: Tom Brady / Beck

Behind The Music: The Super Bowl Shuffle

Written by: Rich Talarico

Jim McMahon….Tom Brady
William “The Refrigerator” Perry….Kenan Thompson
Willie Gault….Finesse Mitchell
Mike Ditka….Horatio Sanz
Bear Teammate….Rob Riggle
Cowbell Bear Teammate….Jason Sudeikis
Announcer….Darrell Hammond
Steve Fuller (#4)…..Joe Kelly
Off Camera Interviewer….Chris Parnell

[Opens with montage of photos. Mike Ditka beingcarried up in arms by his team, the Chicago Bears.Photos of football players in action]

Announcer: The 1985 Chicago Bears were one of the bestteams in football history with an impressive 15-1record. But off the field something else wasbrewing—their music.

[VH-1 Behind the Music Montage and Logo. The Super Bowl Shuffle]

[The whole Chicago Bears football team is dressed upin their football jerseys. Up front is Jim McMahonwith his dark sunglasses and white bandanna,by hisside is William “The Refrigerator” Perry and Willie Gault]

All: [rapping]We are the Bears shuffling crew/shuffleon down/doing it for you/We’re so bad/You know we’regood/Blow your mind/like we knew we could/We just herestrutting for fun/strutting our stuff foreveryone/we’re not here to start no trouble/we’re justhere doing the Super Bowl Shuffle.

[Map of Chicago]

Announcer: The Super Bowl Shuffle was one of the mostpopular songs ever recorded by a professional sportsteam in the Chicago area. The shuffling crew hadskyrocketed to the top of the charts. [Billboard Chartshows The Super Bowl Shuffle at number one, beatingout Lionel Richie’s “Say you, say me”, BruceSpringsteen’s “Glory Days”, Paul Young’s “Every timeyou go away”]. Overnight the Chicago Bears went frombeing famous to being famous for a completelydifferent reason. Bears Quarterback Jim McMahon.

Caption: Jim McMahon Quarterback/Vocals

[Cut to Jim talking in a recording studio, sunglasses,bandanna, number 9 jersey]

Jim McMahon: See, you got to remember, this was 1985.And nobody — and I mean nobody — was doing rap back then.

Off Camera Interviewer: What about the Sugar Hillgang? Grandmaster Flash? Run DMC?

Jim McMahon: Hey, hey, hey. Stop correcting me everytime I say something wrong. Cause if you do that we’re gonna be here forever.

Announcer: Defensive tackle, William “The Refrigerator” Perry.

Caption: Defensive tackle/Vocals William “The Refrigerator” Perry.

[Perry is in his Subway restaurant uniform, behind thecounter making a sandwich]

William “The Refrigerator” Perry: Man, when we wrote”Shuffle” the planets aligned.[to an off cameracustomer]White or wheat, boss? Ok. The music flowedfrom us like a fountain. [to his off cameracustomer]Onions? Pickles? Ok. We surrendered ourindividuality and became one with the music. I mean,we were gods.[to his off camera customer]Chips and adrink? Make that a meal? Ok.

Announcer: Wide receiver, Willie Gault.[He’s chillin’ in a sofa]

Caption: Wide Receiver/Vocals Willie Gault

Willie Gault: Well, you know, we weren’t your typicalband. I mean, come on, we had one guitar, onesaxophone, a cowbell, a conga drum and 27 vocalists.12 of them couldn’t sing and 5 out of the 12 couldn’teven read. But somehow we made it all work.

Announcer: Coach Mike Ditka.

Caption: Mike Ditka Bears Coach 1982-1992

[He’s in a Sports Bar, beer in front of him]

Mike Ditka: 1985. Well, that’s going back a long way.The Chicago Bears played great football. Let me tellya’, they made some great music, that was 20 yearsago. Now, I got a little older, certain parts don’twork you know, like they used to. So, you got to takesome pills to make them work. That’s why I useLevitra.[holds up a little packet] Levitra, the onlymale erectile disfunction that I use—

Off Camera Interviewer: I’m sorry, Coach. This isn’t a Levitra ad.

Mike Ditka: [surprised] Why do I have a boner?

[Shot of an empty football field]

Announcer: The Bears blew off training camp to getback to the studio.[Shot of Jim and Willie writing inthe recording studio, Perry is opening a Coke.] Thepressure to write a follow-up single was overwhelmingand a few months later The Shuffling Crew released”The Stay in School Shuffle”.

[Shot of Jim, Perry and Willie with headphones singinginto microphones in the recording studio]

[Shot of a tape. The Shuffling Crew. “The Stay in School Shuffle”]

[All the team wears graduation hats, guy with cowbelland glasses is more prominent now]

All: [rapping]We are the Bears/ shuffling through/shuffling down/doing it for you/ we’re so bad/ youknow we’re good/ blow your mind like we knew wecould/you know we’re just here strutting our stuff/strutting our stuff for everyone/we’re not here tostart no trouble/ we’re just here doing The Stay inSchool Shuffle.

[Billboard Chart shows “The Stay in School Shuffle”low numbers. It is between Taco’s “Puttin on theRitz’s(part 2)” and Eddie Murphy’s “Party All The Time”]

Announcer: Although a critical success “The Stay inSchool Shuffle” was a commercial disappointment andnever reached higher than 288 on the Billboard Charts.The night life and parties of the rock starsBears[Jim, Perry and Willie drink champagne in adisco]was in direct competition with the disciplinedathlete Bears.[Jim, Perry, Willie and others partywith Pee-Wee Herman and have their picture taken withPunky Brewster]On and off the field things werefalling apart. Then, they hit rock bottom.[ Jim, Perryand Co. have their picture taken with Corey Feldmanand Mr.T]

[Cut to Jim]

Jim McMahon: It was a Sunday, November 27th. We had abig game against The Vikings. We were down 42 to 3 andwe went out to perform “The Stay in School Shuffle” aspart of our own half-time show. People were throwingbrats at us and for a Chicago dude to give up thesausage? You know its bad.[cries]I’m sorry. I need aminute.

Announcer: But then amazingly, to everyone’s surpriseJim McMahon had broken through rock bottom to an evenlower rock bottom, a subterranean trench, a personaland professional abyss[Jim takes off his sunglassesonly to reveal another pair of sunglassesunderneath]when he put out his own solo song “The SayNo To Drugs Shuffle”.

[Tape of The Chicago Bears Shuffling Crew. “The Say Noto Drugs Shuffle”.]

[Jim is all alone with the cowbell guy. Cowbell guydances with great enthusiasm]

Jim McMahon:[rapping]I am the Bears Shuffling Guy/shuffling down/ don’t ask me why/ I’m so bad/you knowI’m good/ Blowin’ your mind like you know I would/ youknow I’m just strutting for fun/ strutting my stufffor everyone/ I’m not here to cause no trouble/ I’mjust here to do “The Say No To Drugs Shuffle”!

[Jim and the cowbell guy are back to back, cowbell guypoints his stick to the camera]

[Photos of Jim, Perry and Willie]

Announcer: Jim McMahon and the rest of The ShufflingCrew left music after their brief 2 year career. TheBears would never return to The Super Bowl nor theGrammy’s but we’ll always have the videotapes of TheSuper Bowl Shuffle.

[VH-1 Behind The Music logo. The Super Bowl Shuffle]

[cheers and applause]

[scene fades]

Submitted by: Waldo San Miguel

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