SNL Transcripts: Steve Carell: 10/01/05: Girls Gone Wild Katrina


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 31: Episode 1

05a: Steve Carell / Kanye West

Girls Gone Wild Katrina

Doug Stanhope…..Jason Sudeikis

[ open on a slideshow of flood footage ] [ SUPER: “Plaquemines Parish, Louisiana August 30th 2005” ]

Announcer: We were all touched by the devestation that was left in the wake of Hurricane Katrina. So we traveled to New Orleans to help out with..

[ cut to footage of screaming, jiggling girls from the Girls Gone wild videos ]

Announcer: Girls! Gone! Wild! Katrina!

[ slideshow footage of girls flashing themselves with “Never Before Seen Footage”, “Real Girls”, “Sexy” and “Uncensored” tags covering their breasts ]

Announcer: We flew down in our private party plane with t-shirts and bottles of water, to help out real girls who fell victim to a real hurricane!

[ cut to Doug Stanhope cruising through the floodwaters in a speedboat ]

Doug Stanhope: We’re usually known for making tasteless videos, but we want to do something a little classy, something to help out the unfortunate.

[ reveal an attractive blonde in a cowboy hat standing in the floodwaters behind Doug ]

Attractive Blonde: Hey! Can you give me a ride to the shelter?

Doug Stanhope: Absolutely, absolutely! Show me where babies feed!

[ the attractive blonde lifts her shirt to reveal bare breasts underneath an “Uncensored” tag ]

Attractive Blonde: Whooooooo!!!

Doug Stanhope: Yeah-heh-heh!

[ cut to Doug propelling toward two attractive girls standing in floodwater, as he teasingly waves a couple bottles of water ]

Doug Stanhope: Hey! you guys want some “water”? [ winks at the camera ]

Girls: Yes!

Doug Stanhope: Yeah? Well, show me where the milk comes from! Huh?

[ the two attractive girls lift their shirts to reveal bare breasts underneath “Sexy” and “Hot Hot” tags ]

Announcer: Order today! And discover what real girls will do after a Category 4 hurricane!

[ show two girls exposing their breasts underneath “Hot Hot” and “Sexy” tags, as a midget in a snorkel and a referee outfit pops out of the floodwater giving the thumbs-up to the camera ] [ cut to Doug drifting toward a woman in a rowboat with her back turned toward him ]

Doug Stanhope: Lady! Show me your —

[ the woman, a FEMA representative, turns around and exposes her breasts without having to be asked fully ]

Doug Stanhope: Hey, hey, hey! Alright, FEMA!

[ more footage of girls standing in floodwater exposing their breasts ]

Announcer: All proceeds go towards rebuilding New Orleans’ famed Bourbon Street.

[ the DVD box cover spins onto the screen ]

Announcer: Girls Gone Wild Katrina! And, if you order today, we’ll include Girls Gone Wild Rita! [ the second DVD box cover spins onto the screen ] Both for only $9.99! Order today!

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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