Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 31: Episode 8
Tylenol BM
Businessman…..Alec Baldwin
Wife…..Rachel Dratch
[open on home office with businessman]
Businessman: [removes glasses] I work a lot. And I’m successful for it, but my workdays were turning into worknights. I’d come home and go straight to bed. [dissolve to businessman lying awake in bed while he continues speaking as voice over] And even though I was exhausted, I’d lay there forever, my mind racing. [dissolve to home office] And then I found Tylenol BM. [holds up box in tight shot] I never liked the idea of taking a sleeping pill, but with Tylenol BM I know I’m going to get a good night sleep. It puts my mind at rest, and I sleep soundly. So soundly, I sleep through my first dump in the morning.
[dissolve to businessman sleeping in bed next to his wife]
Voice Over: Tylenol BM releases a gentle sleep aid into your system that allows deep, restful sleep for up to ten hours. [a graphic superimposed over the businessman shows a blue aura surrounding him] So deep, it turns off your brain’s need to control the bodily functions most likely to wake you, allowing you to sleep without urgency or interruption.
[daylight streams into the bedroom, and the businessman stretches and sits up]
Businessman: I’m ready for another day. I’ve slept like a baby.
Wife: [sitting up] Don! Did you [bleep] the bed?! [jumps out of the bed]
Businessman: [yawns] You tell me.
[dissolve to Tylenol BM box and bottle]
Voice Over: Tylenol BM.
[dissolve to businessman]
Businessman: Thanks, Tylenol BM. [stands and gathers comforter around himself]
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