Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 31: Episode 9
Chronic Snack Attack Magnet
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An SNL Digital Short
…..Andy Samberg
…..Chris Parnell
Andy Samberg:
“Lazy Sunday, wake up in the late afternoon,
Call up Parnell just to see how hes doin.”
Chris Parnell: Hello?
Andy Samberg: What up Parnz?
Chris Parnell: Yo Samberg, whats crackin?
Andy Samberg: You thinkin what Im thinkin?
Both: NARNIA!
Andy Samberg: Then its happnin.
Chris Parnell: But first my hunger pangs are stickin like duct tape!
Andy Samberg: Then lets hit up Magnolia, and mack on some cupcakes!
Chris Parnell: No doubt that bakerys got all the BOMB frosting.
Andy Samberg: I love those cupcakes like McAdams loves Gosling!
Chris Parnell: Two!
Andy Samberg: No, six!
Chris Parnell: No, twelve!
Both: Bakers Dozen!
Andy Samberg: Yo, I told you that Im crazy for these cupcakes, cousin!
Chris Parnell: Yo, wheres the movie, playa?
Andy Samberg: On the west side, dude!
Chris Parnell: Well, lets hit up Yahoo! Maps to find the dopest route.
Andy Samberg: I prefer MapQuest!
Chris Parnell: Thats a good one, too!
Andy Samberg: Google Maps is the best!
Chris Parnell: True dat!
Both: Double True!
Andy Samberg: 68th and Broadway!
Chris Parnell: Step on it, sucka!
Andy Samberg: What you wanna do, Chris?
Chris Parnell: Snack attack, muthaf—–!
Both: The Chronic-
What?
-Cles of Narnia!
Yes the Chronic-
What?
-Cles of Narnia!
We love the Chronic-
What?
-Cles of Narnia!
Pass the Chronic-
What?
-Cles of Narnia!
Andy Samberg: Yo stop at the deli, the theatres overpriced!
Chris Parnell: You got the backpack?
Andy Samberg: Gotta pack it up nice!
Chris Parnell: Dont want security to get suspicious!
Andy Samberg: Mr. Pibb plus Red Vines equals crazy delicious.
Chris Parnell: Reach in my pocket, pull out some dough.
Andy Samberg: Girl actin like she never seen a ten befo.
Chris Parnell: Its all about the Hamiltons, baby!
Andy Samberg: Got the snacks in the bag!
Chris Parnell: And Im ghost like Swayze! (Pause) Roll up in the theatre,
Andy Samberg: Ticket buyins what we handle?
Chris Parnell: You can call us Aaron Burrs
Andy Samberg: From the way were droppin Hamiltons.
Chris Parnell: Bust up in our seats, Movie Trivias the illest!
Andy Samberg: What Friends alum starred in films with Bruce Willis?
Chris Parnell: We answered so fast it was scary!
Andy Samberg: Everyone stared in awe when we screamed:
Both: MATTHEW PERRY!
Andy Samberg: Now, quiet in the theatre or it’s gonna get tragic.
Chris Parnell: Were bout to get tickets to a dream-world of magic.
Both: The Chronic-
What?
-Cles of Narnia!
Yes the Chronic-
What?
-Cles of Narnia!
We love the Chronic-
What?
-Cles of Narnia!
Pass the Chronic-
What?
-Cles of Narnia!
Submitted by: Ryan