Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 31: Episode 12
A Teddy Bear Holding a Heart
Voice Over…..Kristen Wiig
[open on a couple walking through a park, depicted in muted tones, with string-heavy classical music playing]
Voice Over: This Valentine’s Day, give her something she’ll never forget. [birds fly overhead] A gift that not only says, “I love you,” [the couple walk down steps] but “I know you.” [they walk past a puddle] Show her she means the world to you, by giving her the only thing as unique and exquisite as she is. The perfect way to say, “Our love is eternal.” [they sit by a fountain] The gift that whispers, “Be mine forever.” [he kneels and gives her a bright red box] A teddy bear holding a heart. [we see the box from her perspective, and it contains such a teddy bear, and she is delighted] The gift that says, “I put a lot of time and thought into this. I’ve known that Valentine’s Day was coming for quite some time now. It did not sneak up on me.” [dissolve to the bear in its box surrounded by red fabric, with flowers falling all around it, and with a small, red heart logo reading “A Teddy Bear Holding a Heart,” and dissolve back to the park, where women sitting nearby are excited to see the gift the woman has received] Deep emotions can’t always be expressed in words. [he holds her as they twirl around and around, her outstretched hand holding the bear as she looks lovingly at it] But when you hand her a teddy bear holding a heart, she’ll know exactly what you mean to her. [they kiss] A teddy bear holding a heart. [dissolve to the box as seen before, with logo, and with title: “Available almost anywhere”] Available literally almost anywhere. Book stores, Hallmark’s, drug stores, Wal-Mart, 7-11, I’m guessing wherever you buy milk.
[fade to black]
Submitted by: DavidK93