SNL Transcripts: Natalie Portman: 03/04/06: Natalie Portman’s Monologue


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 31: Episode 13

05m: Natalie Portman / Fall Out Boy

Natalie Portman’s Monologue

…..Natalie Portman
Fan 1…..Andy Samberg
Fan 2…..Jason Sudeikis
Fan 3…..Finesse Mitchell
Fan 4…..Kristen Wiig
Fan 5…..Chris Parnell

Natalie Portman: Welcome here, hosting Saturday Night Live. You know, I’ve been in over a dozen films, but I think people probably know me best for my role in the three Star Wars movies.

Fan #1: Ho, ho, ho, ho.

Natalie Portman: Yes, you have a question?

Fan #1: Hum, yes. Funny you mention Star Wars. I have an Episode II specific question.

Natalie Portman: Yeah, go ahead.

Fan #1: Ok. Are we honestly supposed to believe that Jango Fett really really worked hand in hand with Sifo-Dyas in the galactic scenic, to build a clone army on the planet of Kamino?

Natalie Portman: I’m sorry; I get it all the time, you know. Certain kinds of people think that just because I was in Star Wars, I know everything about it.

Fan #1: So you don’t know the answer?

Natalie Portman: Well I begin by saying that Sifo-Dyas never worked directly with Jango Fett and it was Dark Tyrannus who selected the mandolorien bounty hunter after Sifo-Dyas is murdered.

Fan #1: Yeah, I forgot that, I forgot about that.

Natalie Portman: Well, I guess that you also forgot that Count Dooku, who later became Dark Tyrannus, murdered Sifo-Dyas at the order of Dark Sidious none later presented his light-saber to General Grievous.

Fan #1: Never mind.

Natalie Portman: I hope that cleared that up for you. And any other questions? Oh yeah, you.

Fan #2: Yeah, in Episode III, when Obi-Wan is sent to Kashyyk to find General Grievous.

Natalie Portman: Oh, that’s weird because I don’t remember Obi-Wan being sent to Kashyyk to find General Grievous, I remember him being sent to Utapau.

Fan #2: Yah, yah, yah…Right, so he was sent to Utapau, wasn’t it, and he saw Grievous talking to Lott Dod.

Natalie Portman: Excuse me, sir but I think that you’re probably thinking about Nute Gunray. It’s a pretty common mistake. But, what‘s your question?

Fan #2: I, eh… I do not have a question.

Natalie Portman: Does anyone have a real Star wars question?

Fan #3: Yeah, I believe I have a question.

Natalie Portman: Great, what is it?

Fan #3: Star Wars, eh, what is that?

Natalie Portman: You know what? How about no more Star Wars questions, ok? Yeah, you.

Fan #4: You had to shave your head recently.

Natalie Portman: Yeah, it was for my new movie V for Vendetta.

Fan #4: So, it wasn’t for a headlight.

Natalie Portman: No, no, it wasn’t.

Fan #4: I owe my daughter a big apology.

Natalie Portman: Ok, anyone else?

Fan #5: My question is about your first movie The Professional.

Natalie Portman: Great. You know I was actually 11 when I made that movie.

Fan #5: Yes, I do know that. My question is: do you still have any of your wardrobes from that movie? And if so, would you be willing to sell it?

Natalie Portman: Ok, that’s gross, ok. I think that’s about enough. We have a great show: Fall Out Boy’s here. So, stick around, we’ll be right back.

Submitted by: Alexandre

SNL Transcripts | Special Cable TV Promotions |

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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