Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 31: Episode 13
Natalie Portman’s Monologue
Fan 1…..Andy Samberg
Fan 2…..Jason Sudeikis
Fan 3…..Finesse Mitchell
Fan 4…..Kristen Wiig
Fan 5…..Chris Parnell
Natalie Portman: Welcome here, hosting Saturday Night Live. You know, Ive been in over a dozen films, but I think people probably know me best for my role in the three Star Wars movies.
Fan #1: Ho, ho, ho, ho.
Natalie Portman: Yes, you have a question?
Fan #1: Hum, yes. Funny you mention Star Wars. I have an Episode II specific question.
Natalie Portman: Yeah, go ahead.
Fan #1: Ok. Are we honestly supposed to believe that Jango Fett really really worked hand in hand with Sifo-Dyas in the galactic scenic, to build a clone army on the planet of Kamino?
Natalie Portman: Im sorry; I get it all the time, you know. Certain kinds of people think that just because I was in Star Wars, I know everything about it.
Fan #1: So you dont know the answer?
Natalie Portman: Well I begin by saying that Sifo-Dyas never worked directly with Jango Fett and it was Dark Tyrannus who selected the mandolorien bounty hunter after Sifo-Dyas is murdered.
Fan #1: Yeah, I forgot that, I forgot about that.
Natalie Portman: Well, I guess that you also forgot that Count Dooku, who later became Dark Tyrannus, murdered Sifo-Dyas at the order of Dark Sidious none later presented his light-saber to General Grievous.
Fan #1: Never mind.
Natalie Portman: I hope that cleared that up for you. And any other questions? Oh yeah, you.
Fan #2: Yeah, in Episode III, when Obi-Wan is sent to Kashyyk to find General Grievous.
Natalie Portman: Oh, thats weird because I dont remember Obi-Wan being sent to Kashyyk to find General Grievous, I remember him being sent to Utapau.
Fan #2: Yah, yah, yah Right, so he was sent to Utapau, wasnt it, and he saw Grievous talking to Lott Dod.
Natalie Portman: Excuse me, sir but I think that youre probably thinking about Nute Gunray. Its a pretty common mistake. But, whats your question?
Fan #2: I, eh I do not have a question.
Natalie Portman: Does anyone have a real Star wars question?
Fan #3: Yeah, I believe I have a question.
Natalie Portman: Great, what is it?
Fan #3: Star Wars, eh, what is that?
Natalie Portman: You know what? How about no more Star Wars questions, ok? Yeah, you.
Fan #4: You had to shave your head recently.
Natalie Portman: Yeah, it was for my new movie V for Vendetta.
Fan #4: So, it wasnt for a headlight.
Natalie Portman: No, no, it wasnt.
Fan #4: I owe my daughter a big apology.
Natalie Portman: Ok, anyone else?
Fan #5: My question is about your first movie The Professional.
Natalie Portman: Great. You know I was actually 11 when I made that movie.
Fan #5: Yes, I do know that. My question is: do you still have any of your wardrobes from that movie? And if so, would you be willing to sell it?
Natalie Portman: Ok, thats gross, ok. I think thats about enough. We have a great show: Fall Out Boys here. So, stick around, well be right back.
Submitted by: Alexandre