Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 31: Episode 13
(Nunni and Jeff walk in the door to the modern house)
Nunni: Motha? Dadu? Were here!
Jeff: I hope they like me.
Nunni: Dont worry. They love all my new boyfriends.
Noony: You made it!
Nuni:Oh, you must forgive us, we were eating raw bacon in the lighthouse.
(the three hug)
Nunni: Motha, Dadu, This is my new boyfriend. He is from the college with me.
Jeff: Hi, its an honor to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Schoener.
Nuni: Oh please, everyone calls me Nuni.
Jeff: Oh! So Nunni, youre named after your mother?
Noony: No She is Nunni and she is Nuni.
Jeff: Uh, yeah. Nuni, thats what I am saying right? Nuni.
Noony: No, I am Noony.
Jeff: Oh, youre Nuni.
Nuni: No. No. Noony.
Nunni: That is no one.
Nuni: Look at my face. Nuni.
Jeff: Alright, I feel like Nuni. Is that right Nuni?
Noony: That is very incorrect. Hey! Let us toss in the towel.
Nuni: Please children, wont you join us in the sitting room?
Jeff: Oh, Alright. Im sorry. Im sorry. Is there a chair for me?
Nuni: You sit over there on that pile of hair.
Jeff: Oh, this is actually a cahir?
Noony: Why yes its the Hair Chair by Mobus.
Jeff: Oh yeah, Mobus. Of course. Wow this chair is actually very itchy.
Nunni: Yes it is. It is because of all the gorilla hair.
Jeff: Wait, so did someone kill a gorilla to make this chair?
Nuni: What a terrible conclusion! It is the hair collected from the bottom of agorilla shower, silly.
Noony: So young boy. Please tell us about yourself.
Jeff: Uh, well. My name is Jeff.
Nuni: Geyf. Gearf. Guearf. Guarf.
Jeff: No no no its Jeff.
Noony: Je Guar. Jay Hay. Jerganz.
Nunni: Motha Dadu, you are embarrasing me. Its Jerff. Jeh-Ear-Earre-Effe! Juearf!
Noony: Oh. Like the racecar competitor Juaref Gueardon.
Nuni: Oh, like the wonderful actor Juef Goaldblaum.
Nunni: Precisely! Juearf!
Nuni: Wonderful! Were in agreement.
Noony: With all this visiting you must be quite hungry. Who wants a snack?
Nuni: Tato! Time for treat!
Tato: Who wants melted ice cream?
Nuni, Noony, Nunni: Me me me me me me me!
Noony: Oh Tato please. Give me blueberry. Its my favorite.
(Tato sucks it up through a large straw and spits it into his mouth)
Nunni: Put on your treat bib Jarbf!
Jeff: No, Im good. I really dont need anyone to blow melted ice cream into mymouth.
Nuni: Oh Guarf, dont be rude.
Nunni: Please Lerf. If you cared about me you would be more polite. Tato TatoTato, me next!
Jeff: I do care about you Nuni.
Noony: Well, I care about you too, but this is all so new to me.
Jeff: Not you Nuni, her Nuni. You know what, uh, Tater. Let me try thestrawberry.
Tato: Open wide, here comes the tube.
Jeff: Ahh, alright.
Tato: My cousin turns three in two more years. (giggles)
Jeff: Hey, how about that? Uh, you know what, that didnt taste like strawberry.
Nuni: That is because it is pizza and capers.
Nunni: Would you like to try banana and clam?
Jeff: You know what, Im gonna pass. Im gonna pass on that one. Uh, wheres thelittle boys room.
Nunni: Oh, please use Dadas mobile.
Nuni: Its the Carry Pot by Human Function.
Jeff: Um, where do I do this?
Noony: Well, right here of course.
Jeff: Uh huh. Uh, maybe Ill just take this little bugger outside, alright?
Nuni: Alright. Bye Groof.
Noony: Bye Jyland.
Nuni: Oh darling. He is so charming.
Nunni: Hes shy.
Noony: I want some more melted ice cream! Tato!!!
Tato: Who wants seconds?
Noony, Nuni, Nunni: Me me me me me me me me!
(fade out to Nonny getting more ice cream spat in his mouth)
Submitted by: Redhead