SNL Transcripts: Antonio Banderas: 04/08/06


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 31: Episode 15

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


April 8th, 2006

Antonio Banderas

Mary J. Blige


Chris Kattan
Anderson Cooper 360Summary: Anderson Cooper (Seth Meyers) discusses the immigration issue with Colorado Rep. Tom Tancredo (Jason Sudeikis), Mexican President Vincente Fox (Antonio Banderas) and a hairified Cynthia McKinney (Kenan Thompson).

Recurring Characters: Anderson Cooper, Vincente Fox.


MontageNote: Though credited, Maya Rudolph does not appear in this episode.

Antonio Banderas’ MonologueSummary: Antonio Banderas reveals that he is really a woman.

Bio: Antonio Banderas (1960-). Spanish actor; appeared prominently in films directed by Pedro Almodóvar during the 1980’s; American film performances include: “Desperado” (1995) and “The Mask of Zorro” (1998); married to actress Melanie Griffith.


Basic Instinct 2Summary: Sharon Stone reveals a lot more between her legs in the long-awaited film sequel.

Recurring Characters: Sharon Stone.


Deal Or No DealSummary: An eager contestant (Antonio Banderas) doesn’t understand the rules of the multi-faceted game.

Recurring Characters: Howie Mandel.


OperatorSummary: Monotone-speaking telephone operator Julie (Rachel Dratch) meets a man (Antonio Banderas) at a cocktail party.

Recurring Characters: Julie.


Besos Y LagrimasSummary: Contorted facial expressions and a wind-blown shirt dominate infidelity on a Spanish soap opera.


13th Annual Women’s Basketball Coaches’ Fashion AwardsSummary: Women’s basketball coaches are celebrated for their masculine clothing choices.

Mary J. Blige performs “Be Without You”First Performed: 92o.

Weekend Update with Tina Fey & Amy PoehlerSummary: Dan Rather (Darrell Hammond) has bitter sentiments about Katie Couric’s assignment to host the “CBS Evening News”. Finesse Mitchell delivers a Public Service Announcement about the warning signs of an angry black woman. “One Tree Hill” hearththrob Chad Michael Murray (Will Forte) comments about the numerous co-stars he’s married. Because Antonio Banderas is tonight’s host, Chris Kattan makes a surprise appearance to remind viewers that he used to imitate Banderas on SNL.

Recurring Characters: Dan Rather.


ZorroSummary: Frightened at the prospect of bird flu, Antonio Banderas lets his hefty stand-in (Horatio Sanz) perform a kissing scene with Catherine Zeta-Jones (Amy Poehler) while filming “Zorro.”


KaraokeSummary: A shy woman’s (Rachel Dratch) attempt to express feelings for her boyfriend (Antonio Banderas) in song are hijacked by the shameless karaoke DJ (Amy Poehler).


The PlanSummary: Antonio Banderas, Horatio Sanz and Fred Armisen announce that the Spanish-speaking population really is plotting an American takeover.


Mary J. Blige performs “Enough Crying”

Wine EnthusiastsSummary: Pretentious friends (Chris Parnell, Amy Poehler, Antonio Banderas) offer increasingly outlandish comments on the wines they are tasting.




Dress Rehearsal Cuts

Head LiceSummary: Insert live roaches in your hair to get rid of lice.

Airport BarSummary: While waiting for his plane, Antonio Banderas shares a drink with a woman (Kristin Wiig) who constantly complains about everything.

America’s Top Romance ModelSummary: Male models (Antonio Banderas, Kenan Thompson) compete for the chance to appear on the cover of a romance novel.

Recurring Characters: Ryan Seacrest.

An SNL Digital ShortSummary: Andy Samberg has trouble eating with his obtrusive lobster claws.

The SuitSummary: Ed Mahoney (Jason Sudeikis) makes an ass of himself to a clothing salesman (Antonio Banderas) while purportedly shopping for a suit.

Recurring Characters: Ed Mahoney.

Soccer MatchSummary: A benchlined soccer player (Antonio Banderas) wants desperately to be put in the game.

Tech PackSummary: Spokesman (Jason Sudeikis) recommends the Tech Pack for a woman (Kristin Wiig) who’s having a difficult time carrying all of her techno gizmos around.

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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