SNL Transcripts: Antonio Banderas: 04/08/06: Antonio Banderas’ Monologue


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 31: Episode 15

05o: Antonio Banderas / Mary J. Blige

Antonio Banderas’ Monologue

…..Antonio Banderas

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen – Antonio Banderas!

Antonio Banderas: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you!

Ladies and gentlemen – friends – amigos Hispanos – amigos Chicanos – people in general – doctors – lawyers – politicians – truck drivers – taxi drivers – children – elderly cabelleros and senoras – baseball players – journalists – papparazzis – etc. etc.

Probably tonight is the beginning of the end of my career. But I gladly take this risk, in order to have the opportunity to be part of the american pop culture. Which means that, after the show finishes, I will not only be deported from this country, but there is a strong possibility that they won’t allow me back into mine. But I will use this opportunity to say that not everyone in Spain dress as a bull fighter or a flamenco dancer. And, you know – you know what? I am tired of being called a Latin lover, a macho man. I am not an object. and you will understand why I am saying this, once you know the truth. The truth will shock the world, or, at least, a village. But the truth is, that I am, in fact, a woman.

[ he rips off his suit to reveal a slinky red dress and bouncing breasts ]

My real name is Guadalupe, but you can call me.. Lupita! [ pulls off his breakaway pants to reveal the rest of his dress and knee-high boots ] Or, as some people know me, “Puss In Boots.” I have so much conflict over the past several years. As a man, I was living a lie; as a woman, I am obviously less attractive, but it is what it is.

We have a great show for you tonight. My sister – Mary J. Blige – is here. so stick around, we’ll be right back!

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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