SNL Transcripts: Antonio Banderas: 04/08/06: Operator


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 31: Episode 15

05o: Antonio Banderas / Mary J. Blige


Alberto…..Antonio Banderas
Julie…..Rachel Dratch
Juan…..Fred Armisen

[open on exterior of residence] [dissolve to interior, a party, with Julie eating finger foods as a man approaches her]

Alberto: [with Spanish accent, continues throughout] Oh, look at all this food.

Julie: [with monotone voice, continues throughout] I’m sorry. I didn’t get that.

Alberto: I’m just hungry.

Julie: Okay.

Alberto: Hi, I am Alberto. [extends his hand]

Julie: [shakes his hand] Hi, I’m Julie.

Alberto: Hi, nice to meet you. So, what do you do, Julie?

Julie: I do voice recordings for various customer service lines such as American Airlines and Amtrak.

Alberto: Wow. I am a CPA. I know, I know, boring.

Julie: That’s right.

Alberto: No, but at this time of year, busy, busy, busy.

Julie: I think you said “Dizzy, dizzy, dizzy.” Did I get that right?

Alberto: Eh, no. “Busy.”

Julie: I think you said “Lizzie.”

Alberto: No, “Busy. Busy.”

Julie: My mistake. So, Alberto, let me get some information. What do you do for fun?

Alberto: Well, not much.

Julie: Got it.

Alberto: I like trying new restaurants.

Julie: Got it.

Alberto: And I play tennis.

Julie: Got it.

Alberto: [clears throat] Ah, yeah. How about you?

Julie: I like to travel to various locations, such as Dallas/Fort Worth and New York/Laguardia. Other information may be available online.

Alberto: Well, I’ll take a look.

Julie: Also, I’m a shopaholic!

Alberto: A what?

Julie: A shopaholic!

Alberto: I’m sorry, I do not know what you mean. I mean, my English is not that…

Julie: Oh, to continue in Spanish, please say “Yes.”

Juan: [steps up behind Julie] Para continuar en español, diga “Sí.”

Julie: Alberto, this is Juan. He’s a friend of mine from work.

Juan: Bienvenidos.

Alberto: Hola. Hola.

Julie: Will you be needing drinks tonight?

Alberto: Sure, thanks!

Julie: Please listen carefully, as the options have changed. Or, if you know the drink you want, you can interrupt me at any time. There’s merlot, chardonnay, various cocktails–

Alberto: I’ll have a gin and tonic with lime, something like that.

Julie: Before I get your drink, let me see if I have that right. That’s one gin and tonic on the rocks with a twist. Did I get that right?

Alberto: Yeah.

Julie: Your approximate wait time is one minute. [walks up towards the bar]

Juan: Primero necesito información. [asks a question in Spanish]

Alberto: [answers in Spanish]

Juan: Claro. ¿Necesitas un carro?

Alberto: A car? No, I have a car.

Juan: Goodbye. [steps away]

Julie: [returning with two drinks] I’ve got your drink.

Alberto: [takes his drink from her] Oh! Thank you. Thank you, Julie. I was wondering, do you think I could get your number?

Julie: Oh, sure. It’s eight hundred, five, five, five, oh, one, nine, nine.

Juan: [stands behind Julie] Ocho cientos, cinco, cinco, cinco, zero, uno, nueve, nueve. [steps away]

Alberto: Uh… [chuckles] Anyway, Julie, would you like to get out of here?

Julie: Oh… [chuckles] Your approximate wait time is zero minutes.

[Alberto puts his arm around Julie and they exit together]

Submitted by: DavidK93

SNL Transcripts | Special Cable TV Promotions |

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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