SNL Transcripts: Lindsay Lohan: 04/15/06: Neutrogena Coin Slot Cream

Saturday Night Live Transcripts

Season 31: Episode 16

Neutrogena Coin Slot Cream

Girl #1…..Lindsay Lohan
Girl #2…..Kristen Wiig
Announcer…..Amy Poehler

[ FADE IN ]

[ A cascade of water whirls THROUGHOUT the screen and stops. Two girls, LINSDAY LOHAN & KRISTEN WIIG, dance onto the center. Bumping and grinding. Lindsay faces the camera. ]

Girl #1: There’s hand moisturizer for your hands.

[ Lindsay shows both her palms. Both resume dancing. ]

Girl #2: And face moisturizer for your face.

[ Kristen makes a goofy face. The girls continue to bump. ]

Girl #1: What about moisturizer for your coin slot?

[ A finger points to Lindsay’s butt crack. Her face turns serious. ]

Girl #2: With today’s low-cut fashions, your coin slot is exposed to both sun and wind.

Girl #1: That can leave your slot dry and flaky.

[ An ANIMATED rendering of a rear end displays damages of UV rays. ]

Girl #1: Introducing new “Coin Slot Creme” by Neutrogena.

[ Lindsay holds a bottle of the product w/Kristen by her side. An EXTREME CLOSE-UP of the product displays itself with water splashes around it. ]

Girl #2: A cleansing lotion designed especially for your coin slot.

[ Kristen points to her butt crack. ]

[ Another ANIMATED rendering shows a drop of “Coin Slot Creme” removing the effects of harmul UV rays to the coin slot. ]

Announcer: Neutrogena’s “Coin Slot” hydrates and replenishes while moving unwanted dirt and oil. Leaving your skin smooth and silky.

Girl #1: Peace out, coin slot dryness!

Girl #2: “Coin Slot Creme” should not be used on your arms…

Girl #1: Legs…

Girl #2: Face…

Girl #1: Shoulders…

Girl #2: Or upper back.

Girl #1: So don’t go there!

[ The girls return to bumping and grinding. ]

Announcer: “Coin Slot Creme” by Neutrogena.

Both: Kick coin slot dryness to the curb!

[ Both women perform a high-kick. ]

[ A SUPERIMPOSED image of the logo remains front and center on-screen. ]

[ FADE OUT ]

Submitted by: Cody Downs

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020. View all posts by Don Roy King