SNL Transcripts: Lindsay Lohan: 04/15/06: Neutrogena Coin Slot Cream

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 31: Episode 16

05p: Lindsay Lohan / Pearl Jam

Neutrogena Coin Slot Cream

Girl #1…..Lindsay Lohan
Girl #2…..Kristen Wiig
Announcer…..Amy Poehler


[ A cascade of water whirls THROUGHOUT the screen and stops. Two girls, LINSDAY LOHAN & KRISTEN WIIG, dance onto the center. Bumping and grinding. Lindsay faces the camera. ]

Girl #1: There’s hand moisturizer for your hands.

[ Lindsay shows both her palms. Both resume dancing. ]

Girl #2: And face moisturizer for your face.

[ Kristen makes a goofy face. The girls continue to bump. ]

Girl #1: What about moisturizer for your coin slot?

[ A finger points to Lindsay’s butt crack. Her face turns serious. ]

Girl #2: With today’s low-cut fashions, your coin slot is exposed to both sun and wind.

Girl #1: That can leave your slot dry and flaky.

[ An ANIMATED rendering of a rear end displays damages of UV rays. ]

Girl #1: Introducing new “Coin Slot Creme” by Neutrogena.

[ Lindsay holds a bottle of the product w/Kristen by her side. An EXTREME CLOSE-UP of the product displays itself with water splashes around it. ]

Girl #2: A cleansing lotion designed especially for your coin slot.

[ Kristen points to her butt crack. ]

[ Another ANIMATED rendering shows a drop of “Coin Slot Creme” removing the effects of harmul UV rays to the coin slot. ]

Announcer: Neutrogena’s “Coin Slot” hydrates and replenishes while moving unwanted dirt and oil. Leaving your skin smooth and silky.

Girl #1: Peace out, coin slot dryness!

Girl #2: “Coin Slot Creme” should not be used on your arms…

Girl #1: Legs…

Girl #2: Face…

Girl #1: Shoulders…

Girl #2: Or upper back.

Girl #1: So don’t go there!

[ The girls return to bumping and grinding. ]

Announcer: “Coin Slot Creme” by Neutrogena.

Both: Kick coin slot dryness to the curb!

[ Both women perform a high-kick. ]

[ A SUPERIMPOSED image of the logo remains front and center on-screen. ]


Submitted by: Cody Downs

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