SNL Transcripts: Lindsay Lohan: 04/15/06: Neutrogena Coin Slot Cream


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 31: Episode 16

05p: Lindsay Lohan / Pearl Jam

Neutrogena Coin Slot Cream

Girl #1…..Lindsay Lohan
Girl #2…..Kristen Wiig
Announcer…..Amy Poehler


[ A cascade of water whirls THROUGHOUT the screen and stops. Two girls, LINSDAY LOHAN & KRISTEN WIIG, dance onto the center. Bumping and grinding. Lindsay faces the camera. ]

Girl #1: There’s hand moisturizer for your hands.

[ Lindsay shows both her palms. Both resume dancing. ]

Girl #2: And face moisturizer for your face.

[ Kristen makes a goofy face. The girls continue to bump. ]

Girl #1: What about moisturizer for your coin slot?

[ A finger points to Lindsay’s butt crack. Her face turns serious. ]

Girl #2: With today’s low-cut fashions, your coin slot is exposed to both sun and wind.

Girl #1: That can leave your slot dry and flaky.

[ An ANIMATED rendering of a rear end displays damages of UV rays. ]

Girl #1: Introducing new “Coin Slot Creme” by Neutrogena.

[ Lindsay holds a bottle of the product w/Kristen by her side. An EXTREME CLOSE-UP of the product displays itself with water splashes around it. ]

Girl #2: A cleansing lotion designed especially for your coin slot.

[ Kristen points to her butt crack. ]

[ Another ANIMATED rendering shows a drop of “Coin Slot Creme” removing the effects of harmul UV rays to the coin slot. ]

Announcer: Neutrogena’s “Coin Slot” hydrates and replenishes while moving unwanted dirt and oil. Leaving your skin smooth and silky.

Girl #1: Peace out, coin slot dryness!

Girl #2: “Coin Slot Creme” should not be used on your arms…

Girl #1: Legs…

Girl #2: Face…

Girl #1: Shoulders…

Girl #2: Or upper back.

Girl #1: So don’t go there!

[ The girls return to bumping and grinding. ]

Announcer: “Coin Slot Creme” by Neutrogena.

Both: Kick coin slot dryness to the curb!

[ Both women perform a high-kick. ]

[ A SUPERIMPOSED image of the logo remains front and center on-screen. ]


Submitted by: Cody Downs

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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