SNL Transcripts: Tom Hanks: 05/06/06: An SNL Digital Short

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 31: Episode 17

05q: Tom Hanks / Red Hot Chili Peppers

An SNL Digital Short

Ariell…..Andy Samberg
Ephraim…..Tom Hanks

Ariell & Ephraim: [ singing ]
“Morning in the kitchen
You’re frying an egg
I’m squeezing some oranges
The room is getting hot

Over at the counter
I shake the salt
You take out a knife
Please don’t cut my testicles

Please don’t cut my testicles
Please don’t cut my testicles
Don’t cut my testicles
It’s a nice day, relax

Oh Efrim, you’re sexy
Right back at you, baby!
Oh Efrim, you’re handsome
I’m serious about my testicles

At the post office
Standing in line
You wrap my package
I lick the stamp

Put it in the slot
Then close the door
But please don’t slam it
On my testicles

Don’t slam my testicles
Please don’t slam my testicles
Don’t slam my testicles
It’s a free country have fun!

Ariel, you worry
I do, I worry oh-ften (often)
Oh Efrim, come with me
Did I mention I was gay?

Don’t burn off our testicles
Don’t burn off our testicles
Please don’t burn my testicles.”

Submitted by: Jordan Anderson

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020. View all posts by Don Roy King