SNL Transcripts: Jaime Pressley: 10/07/06: New York City Stories


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 32: Episode 2

06b: Jaime Pressley / Corinne Bailey Rae

New York City Stories

Martin Scorcese…..Fred Armisen
Rosie Perez…..Amy Poehler

[ open on exterior, cabs rolling down a city block, with SUPER: “New York City Stories” ] [ dissolve to Rosie Perez and Martin Scorcese standing on a city block ]

Martin Scorcese: Are we ready? Are we.. all framed up? [ cut to close-up ] This is my.. favorite street in all of New York. I-I-I grew up all along here, and — [ points down at fire hydrant ] this hydrant used to be the-the best Jewish deli. Pastrami sandwiches — [ holds one hand much higher than the other ] th-this big! Three dollars.

[ cut to Rosie Perez doing “White Men Can’t Jump” dance in the middle of the street ] [ cut back to Scorcese ]

Martin Scorcese: You-you’d.. kill your mother for it. The-the busboy was, uh.. Bobby DeNiro.

Rosie Perez: [ excited ] Really?! This is the corner where Patrick Ooh-ing kicked me out of his lee-mo!

Martin Scorcese: And this street was also where we, uh, shot a whole lot of “Raging Bull.” It was, uh, all along here, and up-up in the tree — [ points toward the top of the tree ] was the opening tracking shot, and th-that’s where we did all the-the boxing matches.

Rosie Perez: What an unbelievable story! That reminds me of a memory I’m having too! [ points to a post in the ground in front of the fire hydrant ] Where this right here used to be a.. um.. a real phone booth! And I would get a phone cawl from my sister!

[ cut to image of Rosie standing at another angle, miming answering the telephone in the phone booth ]

Rosie Perez V/O: And I would be, like, “Hello?!”

[ cut to Scorcese shaking his head in disbelief ]

Rosie Perez: Those were good times, Martin Scorcese!

[ quick cut to pedestrians trying to hail a taxi cab, before cutting back to Scorcese talking ]

Martin Scorcese: So, the, um, the.. tracking shot in “Goodfellas” – I’m sure you remember that. [ steps closer to the building, points to a pipe in the wall ] The.. tracking shot was all done.. right in there. Got to film the whole thing, that’s – that’s the Copa-copacabana.

Rosie Perez: New York was unbelievable back then! You could take phone cawls – from phone booths – or you could blow bubbles! [ smiles ]

Martin Scorcese: Shoot me dead, if you want to. [ shrugs ] [ cut to image of a Parisi Bakery truck on the opposite side of the street, then cut back to Scorcese on the sidewalk ]

Martin Scorcese: We had – we used to have, uh – when I was a kid – we used to have cookies – and I’m not exaggerating – they were this big. [ makes a wide circle around his entire body ]

Rosie Perez: That makes me so hong-gree, Martin Scorcese! I want to go get a kwoo-key!

Martin Scorcese: Okay, Rosie Perez – let’s go get some cookies.

[ they continue walking down the street ] [ return to exterior, cabs rolling down a city block, with SUPER: “New York City Stories” ] [ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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