Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 32: Episode 2
New York City Stories
Martin Scorcese…..Fred Armisen
Rosie Perez…..Amy Poehler
[ open on exterior, cabs rolling down a city block, with SUPER: “New York City Stories” ] [ dissolve to Rosie Perez and Martin Scorcese standing on a city block ]
Martin Scorcese: Are we ready? Are we.. all framed up? [ cut to close-up ] This is my.. favorite street in all of New York. I-I-I grew up all along here, and — [ points down at fire hydrant ] this hydrant used to be the-the best Jewish deli. Pastrami sandwiches — [ holds one hand much higher than the other ] th-this big! Three dollars.[ cut to Rosie Perez doing “White Men Can’t Jump” dance in the middle of the street ] [ cut back to Scorcese ]
Martin Scorcese: You-you’d.. kill your mother for it. The-the busboy was, uh.. Bobby DeNiro.
Rosie Perez: [ excited ] Really?! This is the corner where Patrick Ooh-ing kicked me out of his lee-mo!
Martin Scorcese: And this street was also where we, uh, shot a whole lot of “Raging Bull.” It was, uh, all along here, and up-up in the tree — [ points toward the top of the tree ] was the opening tracking shot, and th-that’s where we did all the-the boxing matches.
Rosie Perez: What an unbelievable story! That reminds me of a memory I’m having too! [ points to a post in the ground in front of the fire hydrant ] Where this right here used to be a.. um.. a real phone booth! And I would get a phone cawl from my sister![ cut to image of Rosie standing at another angle, miming answering the telephone in the phone booth ]
Rosie Perez V/O: And I would be, like, “Hello?!”[ cut to Scorcese shaking his head in disbelief ]
Rosie Perez: Those were good times, Martin Scorcese![ quick cut to pedestrians trying to hail a taxi cab, before cutting back to Scorcese talking ]
Martin Scorcese: So, the, um, the.. tracking shot in “Goodfellas” – I’m sure you remember that. [ steps closer to the building, points to a pipe in the wall ] The.. tracking shot was all done.. right in there. Got to film the whole thing, that’s – that’s the Copa-copacabana.
Rosie Perez: New York was unbelievable back then! You could take phone cawls – from phone booths – or you could blow bubbles! [ smiles ]
Martin Scorcese: Shoot me dead, if you want to. [ shrugs ] [ cut to image of a Parisi Bakery truck on the opposite side of the street, then cut back to Scorcese on the sidewalk ]
Martin Scorcese: We had – we used to have, uh – when I was a kid – we used to have cookies – and I’m not exaggerating – they were this big. [ makes a wide circle around his entire body ]
Rosie Perez: That makes me so hong-gree, Martin Scorcese! I want to go get a kwoo-key!
Martin Scorcese: Okay, Rosie Perez – let’s go get some cookies.[ they continue walking down the street ] [ return to exterior, cabs rolling down a city block, with SUPER: “New York City Stories” ] [ fade ]