Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 32: Episode 2
New York City Stories II
Lou Reed…..Fred Armisen
Patti Smith…..Amy Poehler
[ open on exterior, cabs rolling down a city block, with SUPER: “New York City Stories” ]
[ dissolve to Lou Reed standing across the street from CBGB’s ]
Lou Reed: We’re gonna talk about CBGB’s.
[ Patti Smith joins Lou ]
Patti Smith: CBGB’s. You see this place?
[ cut to close-up of the CBGB banner ]
Patti Smith: The last great place in New York City – they’re shuttin’ it down!
[ cut back to Patti standing in the middle of the street; a car honks its horn ]
They’re gonna turn it in —
[ the car honks its horn again ]
Lou Reed: Back then you used to see pushers, poets, geniuses, losers, junkies, transvestites – all under one roof.
Patti Smith: Joey Ramone. Television. David Byrne.
Lou Reed: They didn’t do it for the money – they did it for the applause. For a drink. [ looks off to the side for a moment ] And the money, too. They got paid. So, yeah, the money, too.
Patti Smith: [ looks offscreen ] Right over there, where the garbage can is, was my apartment in 1974. [ show Patti standing next to the garbage can ] I paid $200 a month.
Lou Reed: Back then, my apartment was up there in that water tower. [ points upward to a water tower atop a building ] I used to share it with Paco and his family.[ they begin singing a variant of “Gloria” ]
Patti Smith: “P-A-C-O!”
Lou Reed: “Ohhhh, down the avenue!”
Patti Smith: “Paco!”
Lou Reed: Right over here, on this corner, I saw Iggy Pop take a swing at a cop’s horse. Can you imagine that? Yeah, I can imagine it. I’ll tell you a little story – one time I saw Dee Dee Ramone eat twenty-seven hot dogs in a row. I was mesmerized.
Patti Smith: You used to be able to go from here.. to here — [ points to the corner she’s standing to across the street to CBGB’s ] and you’d meet five poets.
Lou Reed: Do you know what rock and roll even is?
[ cut to Lou taking a swig from a bottle, then shattering it on the ground beneath his feet ]
It’s not in your iPod. It’s right there [ points to CBGB’s ]
[ return to exterior, cabs rolling down a city block, with SUPER: “New York City Stories” ]
[ fade ]