SNL Transcripts: Jaime Pressley: 10/07/06: New York City Stories II

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 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 32: Episode 2



06b: Jaime Pressley / Corinne Bailey Rae

New York City Stories II

Lou Reed…..Fred Armisen
Patti Smith…..Amy Poehler

[ open on exterior, cabs rolling down a city block, with SUPER: “New York City Stories” ] [ dissolve to Lou Reed standing across the street from CBGB’s ]

Lou Reed: We’re gonna talk about CBGB’s.

[ Patti Smith joins Lou ]

Patti Smith: CBGB’s. You see this place?

[ cut to close-up of the CBGB banner ]

Patti Smith: The last great place in New York City – they’re shuttin’ it down!

[ cut back to Patti standing in the middle of the street; a car honks its horn ]

They’re gonna turn it in —

[ the car honks its horn again ]

SHUT UP!!

Lou Reed: Back then you used to see pushers, poets, geniuses, losers, junkies, transvestites – all under one roof.

Patti Smith: Joey Ramone. Television. David Byrne.

Lou Reed: They didn’t do it for the money – they did it for the applause. For a drink. [ looks off to the side for a moment ] And the money, too. They got paid. So, yeah, the money, too.

Patti Smith: [ looks offscreen ] Right over there, where the garbage can is, was my apartment in 1974. [ show Patti standing next to the garbage can ] I paid $200 a month.

Lou Reed: Back then, my apartment was up there in that water tower. [ points upward to a water tower atop a building ] I used to share it with Paco and his family.[ they begin singing a variant of “Gloria” ]

Patti Smith: “P-A-C-O!”

Lou Reed: “Ohhhh, down the avenue!”

Patti Smith: “Paco!”

Lou Reed: Right over here, on this corner, I saw Iggy Pop take a swing at a cop’s horse. Can you imagine that? Yeah, I can imagine it. I’ll tell you a little story – one time I saw Dee Dee Ramone eat twenty-seven hot dogs in a row. I was mesmerized.

Patti Smith: You used to be able to go from here.. to here — [ points to the corner she’s standing to across the street to CBGB’s ] and you’d meet five poets.

Lou Reed: Do you know what rock and roll even is?

[ cut to Lou taking a swig from a bottle, then shattering it on the ground beneath his feet ]

It’s not in your iPod. It’s right there [ points to CBGB’s ] [ return to exterior, cabs rolling down a city block, with SUPER: “New York City Stories” ] [ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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