Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 32: Episode 3
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Air Date:Host:Musical Guest:Special Guests:Cameos:
October 21st, 2006
John C. Reilly
My Chemical Romance
None
Will Ferrell
Special Report with Brit HumeSummary: Brit Hume presents Part One of his interview with President George W. Bush (Will Forte), in which Bush agrees with each of his statements.
Recurring Characters: Brit Hume, President George W. Bush.
Transcript
Montage
John C. Reilly’s MonologueSummary: James Lipton (Will Ferrell) praises John C. Reilly for his film performances.
Recurring Characters: James Lipton.
Bio: John C. Reilly (1965-). Character actor; co-starred with Will Ferrell in “Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby” (2006), later headlined “Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story” (2007).
Transcript
Colonial WilliamsburgSummary: The manager (Jason Sudeikis) at Colonial Williamsburg has to fire Gary (John C. Reilly) for acting racist toward his co-workers in the name of historical accuracy.
Transcript
Swimming LessonSummary: Swimming teacher Doug Frangelo (John C. Reilly) makes sure his student (Will Forte) gains enough experience swimming on land before stepping into the water.
Transcript
Korean Central TelevisionSummary: Kim Jong Il (Amy Poehler) addresses the nation of North Korea.
Recurring Characters: Kim Jong Il.
Transcript
Two A-Holes Work Out with a TrainerSummary: The Two A-Holes (Jason Sudeikis, Kristin Wiig) show up late for their exercise workout, completely wasting their trainer’s (John C. Reilly) time.
Recurring Characters: Male A-Hole, Female A-Hole.
Transcript
My Chemical Romance performs “Welcome to the Black Parade”Bio: Punk-pop band; formed in 2001 by lead singer Gerard Way and drummer Matt Pelissier; adopted their name from author Irvine Welsh’s novel “Three Tales Of Chemical Romance”; other members are guitarist Frank Iero, bassist Mikey Way, guitarist Ray Toro, and drummer Bob Bryar (who replaced Pelissier in 2004).
Lyrics
Weekend Update with Amy Poehler & Seth MeyersSummary: Flavor Flav (Kenan Thompson) makes up nicknames female congressional members.
Recurring Characters: Flavor Flav.
Note: In dress rehearsal, Andy Samberg and Fred Armisen appeared respectively as YouTube founders Chad Hurley and Steve Chen.
Transcript
Mexican RestaurantSummary: Due to a breakup with her boyfriend, Jennifer (John C. Reilly) becomes emotionally unstable during lunch with her girlfriends (Maya Rudolph, Amy Poehler, Kristin Wiig).
Transcript
House of CartersSummary: Sibling rivalry between Nick Carter (Jason Sudeikis) and younger brother Aaron (Andy Samberg).
Recurring Characters: Aaron Carter.
An SNL Digital ShortSummary: Harpoon Man (John C. Reilly) tracks down the announcer (Andy Samberg) who’s making negative comments about him during his theme song.
Transcript
McMillan Family Moment ISummary: McMillan dad (John C. Reilly) tries to pass along the family tradition for eating an Oreo cookie to his ungrateful son (Andy Samberg).
Transcript
Operation BearsharkSummary: Scientists break out into song after the funding for Operation Bearshark is cut off.
McMillan Family Moment IISummary: McMillan dad (John C. Reilly) once again tries to pass along the family tradition for eating an Oreo cookie to a black boy (Kenan Thompson).
Transcript
My Chemical Romance performs “Cancer”Lyrics
McMillan Family Moment IIISummary: McMillan dad (John C. Reilly) lashes out at his own father (Jason Sudeikis) after learning he got the family tradition for eating an Oreo cookie all wrong.
Transcript
GoodnightsTranscript
Dress Rehearsal Cuts
Support GroupSummary: Newsmakers Madonna (Amy Poehler), Paris Hilton (Maya Rudolph), Donald Rumsfeld (Darrell Hammond), John Mark Karr (Bill Hader), and a stingray (Andy Samberg) are united in notoreity at a support group meeting.
Recurring Characters: Madonna, Paris Hilton, Donald Rumsfeld.
Note: This sketch served as the cold opening at dress rehearsal.
E-Z Date.comSummary: Entrepreneuer Cal Brandeis (Jason Sudeikis) acts as virtual pimp for a new dating service that will discreetly deliver a “date” to your door within minutes of registering online.
CoachSummary: A football coach (John C. Reilly) visits one of his star players (Andy Samberg) in the hospital.
Sale-martSummary: To maintain its everyday low prices, the discount merchandising outlet proudly cuts corners on employee benefits.
New HatSummary: Spokesman (John C. Reilly) promotes a hot dog wrapper hat.
