SNL Transcripts: John C. Reilly: 10/21/06: McMillan Family Moment II


SNL Transcripts: John C. Reilly: 10/21/06: McMillan Family Moment II

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 32: Episode 3

06c: John C. Reilly / My Chemical Romance

McMillan Family Moment II

Mr. McMillan…..John C. Reilly
Jarvis…..Kenan Thompson

[Heartwarming Steel Magnolias-style music takes us from a split-level house exterior inside to the kitchen. A middle-aged man and teenaged boy are sitting at a table, both wearing Big Brothers Chicago t-shirts. Each have a glass of milk with a plate of Oreos between them.]

Mr. McMillan: So, listen. I just thought as your new Big Brother, I’d show you the McMillan family tradition of how to eat an Oreo cookie.

Jarvis: [apprehensive] Okay —

Mr. McMillan: So first thing out of the gate, Jarvis. You hold the edges of the cookie with both hands. And then you give it a nice gentle twist. [demonstrates] And then– [Jarvis shoves a cookie in his mouth and drinks his milk] No, no, don’t drink the milk yet!

Jarvis: Hey, you got an Xbox up in here? [music stops]

Mr. McMillan: [throws the cookie on the table] Yeah, yeah, we got an Xbox. [goes off-camera] Uh-huh. [comes back with the console] Here. There you go. [throws it on the table] Yeah, have fun, Champ!

Jarvis: Whoa!

Mr. McMillan: Yeah, knock yourself out! [throws his glass of milk on the table] Play till your fingers fall off! Call me when you want a ride home, I’ll be in the other room paying my taxes to support jackass programs so brats like you can play Xbox! How’s that grab you, Full of Cream?! [Jarvis is taken aback] Have fun telling them down at Big Brother what an ass I am! [storms out, slams door] [music starts again over a title card which reads:]

Female Narrator: Another McMillan Family Moment.

[laughter and applause]

Submitted by: Joy

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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