SNL Transcripts: Hugh Laurie: 10/28/06


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 32: Episode 4

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


October 28th, 2006

Hugh Laurie



Lorne Michaels

Sacha Baron Cohen

Ken Davitian
Kazakhstan Ministry of InformationSummary: In the wake of NBC’s budget cuts, Lorne Michaels announces that he’s sold the first five minutes of “Saturday Night Live” to a foreign government, then cuts to a message from the Kazakhstan Ministry of Information delivered by Borat (Sacha Baron Cohen) with silent observation from Azamat (Ken Davitian).

Bio: Sacha Baron Cohen (1971-). Comedian; inspired by Peter Sellers; starred in HBO series “Da Ali G Show” as Ali G, Borat, and Brüno; expanded the middle into 2006 feature film, “Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan.”

Bio: Ken Davitian (1953-). Armenian-born actor; best-known as Borat’s producer in “Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan” (2006); founded Sherman Oaks restaurant, The Dip, in 2003.



Hugh Laurie’s MonologueSummary: Hugh Laurie introduces himself to the audience by outlining his acting history.

Bio: Hugh Laurie (1959-). Actor; starred in British comedy hits “Blackadder”, “Jeeves and Wooster”, “A Bit of Fry and Laurie”, and “Saturday Live”; star of “House, M.D.” on American television.

Note: A pre-recorded applause track noticably fades once Hugh Laurie begins his monologue.


Most HauntedSummary: Derek Acorah (Hugh Laurie) accidentally cuts a fart while investigating a haunted house, which his dimwitted paranormal team (Fred Armisen, Amy Poehler, Bill Hader) mistake as a message from a ghost.

Note: The FOX logo from the upcoming “World Series 2006” sketch appears in the upper-right corner as the current sktch fades out.


TV FunhouseSummary: In a cartoon by Robert Smigel, President George W. Bush displays a pair of political attack ads the Republicans will use against the Democrats during this year’s midterm elections.

2006 World SeriesSummary: At the World Series, contest winner Pamela Bell (Maya Rudolph) delivers her milked version of “The Star Spangled Banner.”

Note: As the sketch fades into the commercial, Don Pardo mistakenly announces that the next live show will air on “Monday, November 11th.”


Advance ManSummary: While preparing for Queen Elizabeth’s viit to New York, her advance man (Hugh Laurie) goes over her accomodation needs with the concierge (Kristen Wiig) at the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel.

Note: Hugh Laurie has difficulty getting his reading glasses on with one hand, and thus bypasses the need for them.


HardballSummary: Chris Matthews (Darrell Hammond) administers a round-table discussion on the upcoming midterm elections with Ken Mehlman (Andy Samberg) and Howard Dean (Jason Sudeikis).

Recurring Characters: Chris Matthews, Howard Dean.

Hugh’s Protest SongSummary: Hugh Laurie sings a Dylanesque protest song, in which he mumbles through the solution to the war.

Note: Hugh Laurie originally performed this bit on the first episode of the fourth season of “A Bit of Fry and Laurie” in 1995.


Beck performs “Nausea”First Performed: 96j.


Weekend Update with Amy Poehler & Seth MeyersSummary: Tim Calhoun (Will Forte) announces that he’s running for Senator of America. A same-sex couple from New Jersey (Fred Armisen, Bill Hader) comment on their state’s recent gay marriage ruling.

Recurring Characters: Tim Calhoun, Vinnie, Gay Guy from New Jersey.


American Medical AssociationSummary: Mr. Dallas Rivers (Kenan Thompson) gives a doctor (Will Forte) a hard time during his visit to the emergency room to treat his broken leg.


The Curse of FrankensteinSummary: On a presentation of the Late Night Movie, an angry mob crowd searches in vain for Frankenstein’s Monster (Bill Hader), who tries to fool them into thinking Dracula (Jason Sudeikis) is the real monster they’re after.


Beck performs “Clap Hands”Lyrics

Linder & BowlesSummary: Linder (Fred Armisen) and Bowles (Hugh Laurie) “oooohhhh” and “oooohhhh” over the credentials on interviewee Rebecca’s (Amy Poehler) resume.




Dress Rehearsal Cuts

Casual BitchSummary: The inappropriate clothing line for the working woman.

Variety VaultSummary: A lost television recording features spookish Vincent Price (Bill Hader) hosting a Halloween special.

Recurring Characters: Vincent Price.

E-Z Date.comSummary: Entrepreneuer Cal Brandeis (Jason Sudeikis) acts as virtual pimp for a new dating service that will discreetly deliver a “date” to your door within minutes of registering online.

“Lost” ExtrasSummary: A group of extras (Hugh Laurie, Amy Poehler, Kristen Wiig) are ignored during a taping of “Lost.”

An SNL Digital ShortSummary: Desperate to get noticed by celebrity magazines, Andy Samberg and Fred Armisen wander around New York.

Speed Reader

The BarSummary: A drunkard (Andy Samberg) asks other patrons if they want to go somewhere with him.

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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