SNL Transcripts: Alec Baldwin: 11/11/06: Valtrex


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 32: Episode 5

06e: Alec Baldwin / Christina Aguilera


Husband…..Alec Baldwin
Wife…..Amy Poehler

[ open on married couple sitting together on the couch in their living room ]

Wife: When my gynecologist told me I had genital herpes, I was confused. We’d been married for over twelve years, and had always tested negative for STDs.

Husband: But then I read about a recent scientific study. It said some forms of genital herpes remain dormant in women for ten or fifteen years – but, oftentimes, the virus went undetected in tests.

Wife: That would explain a lot. It made little sense to me that two married people without any history of genital herpes, could then suddenly be infected.

Husband: But then I explained it, that that was the end of it, and there was no need to talk about it any more. [ smiles ]

Wife: Our doctor told us about Valtrex, which lowers the chance of passing the virus during sex. At first, I didn’t think it mattered, because we both already had the virus and neither one of us was planning to go outside the marriage for sex.

Husband: So true! Here’s where you really just need to trust your doctor, and to not get all “caught up” in the logic. Even if you don’t have multiple partners —

Wife: Like us!

Husband: — it’s a good idea to use Valtrex.

Wife: Because..?

Husband: Because it’s important. That’s why. [ wraps his arm around her ] There’s really no need to overthink it. Is there?

Wife: [ smiles confusedly ] [ cut to overhead shot of product superimposed over scene of husband and wife in their living room ]

Announcer: Ask your husband if you need Valtrex. He may know more than your doctor. Doctors don’t know everything.

[ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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