SNL Transcripts: Alec Baldwin: 11/11/06: Valtrex

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 32: Episode 5

06e: Alec Baldwin / Christina Aguilera


Husband…..Alec Baldwin
Wife…..Amy Poehler

[ open on married couple sitting together on the couch in their living room ]

Wife: When my gynecologist told me I had genital herpes, I was confused. We’d been married for over twelve years, and had always tested negative for STDs.

Husband: But then I read about a recent scientific study. It said some forms of genital herpes remain dormant in women for ten or fifteen years – but, oftentimes, the virus went undetected in tests.

Wife: That would explain a lot. It made little sense to me that two married people without any history of genital herpes, could then suddenly be infected.

Husband: But then I explained it, that that was the end of it, and there was no need to talk about it any more. [ smiles ]

Wife: Our doctor told us about Valtrex, which lowers the chance of passing the virus during sex. At first, I didn’t think it mattered, because we both already had the virus and neither one of us was planning to go outside the marriage for sex.

Husband: So true! Here’s where you really just need to trust your doctor, and to not get all “caught up” in the logic. Even if you don’t have multiple partners —

Wife: Like us!

Husband: — it’s a good idea to use Valtrex.

Wife: Because..?

Husband: Because it’s important. That’s why. [ wraps his arm around her ] There’s really no need to overthink it. Is there?

Wife: [ smiles confusedly ] [ cut to overhead shot of product superimposed over scene of husband and wife in their living room ]

Announcer: Ask your husband if you need Valtrex. He may know more than your doctor. Doctors don’t know everything.

[ fade ]

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