SNL Transcripts: Ludacris: 11/18/06

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 32: Episode 6

This free script provided by]]>

Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


November 18th, 2006




Mary J. Blige
An NBC Special ReportSummary: “Saturday Night Live” will be delayed tonight, so that NBC can present a special message from President George W. Bush (Jason Sudeikis), who announces to America that he accidentally started up another war during his visit to Vietnam this past week.

Recurring Characters: President George W. Bush.


MontageNote: Don Pardo creates his own unique pronunciation for Ludacris’ name.

Ludacris’ MonologueSummary: Ludacris differentiates the times he identifies himself as Ludacris versus using his real name, until he’s interrupted by childhood friend Rick “Rickdiculous” Barnes (Kenan Thompson).

First Performed: 04j.


Young Douglas: Hypin’ the ClassicsSummary: Rapper Young Douglas (Ludacris) provides backing tracks on classic hits by Harry Connick, Jr. (Jason Sudeikis) and other contemporary artists.

Recurring Characters: Harry Connick, Jr., Barbra Streisand, Dolly Parton, Louis Armstrong.


Dr. Archibald BitchslapSummary: Samantha Hawkins (Maya Rudolph) and Dr. Archibald Bitchslap (Ludacris) show troubled couples how to save their marriage.


The O’Reilly FactorSummary: Bill O’Reilly (Darrell Hammond) plans to boycott Def Jam Records for signing Ludacris to their label.

Recurring Characters: Bill O’Reilly.

Booty BidnessSummary: Ludacris promotes a new line of club clothing that businesswomen can wear at the office.


The Blizzard ManSummary: In order to boost a track on his album, Ludacris hires white-boy rapper Blizzard Man (Andy Samberg) to work his magic at the recording studio.


Ludacris performs “Shake Your Moneymaker”Lyrics

Weekend Update with Amy Poehler & Seth MeyersSummary: John Mark Karr (Bill Hader) takes offense to O.J. Simpson’s book because he’s the real killer. Bobby Knight (Jason Sudeikis) yells at Seth Meyers for making an obvious Spider-Man joke. Teen magazine editor Anoosa Rosenfeld (Maya Rudolph) applauds anorexia and eats her lip gloss.

Recurring Characters: John Mark Karr, Bobby Knight.

Note: Maya Rudolph’s “Anoosa Rosenfeld” character is based on Seventeen Magazine’s editor-in-chief, Atoosa Rubenstein.


PoolwatchSummary: Pimped-out lifeguard (Ludacris) must carefully remove his bling and expensive designer clothing before he feels comfortable diving in the pool to rescue a woman from drowning.

Hair TransplantSummary: Shady hair transplant practictioner, Dr. Schultz (Ludacris), tries to make a quick exit from his medical trailer after releasing a patient (Will Forte) who has the Elton John-style hair that he envies.

Lesbian Cruise ShipSummary: Captain Ronald Huggins (Ludacris) is sure that steering a ship filled with vacationing lesbians will play out the same way it does in his porn video collection.


Ludacris with Mary J. Blige performs “Runaway”Mary J. Blige First Performed: 92o.


Old FriendsSummary: Two old friends (Ludacris, Darrell Hammond) sit at the lunch counter and complain about how hectic today’s modern conveniences make their lives.

Note: Darrell Hammond’s fake moustache comes loose, prompting an ad-lib from Ludacris.




Dress Rehearsal Cuts

TurkeysSummary: A group of turkeys (Ludacris, Andy Samberg, Fred Armisen, Maya Rudolph, Jason Sudeikis) outrun bullets before Thanksgiving.

An SNL Digital ShortSummary: Andy Samberg stars in a series of movie trailers.

Hip Hop Hoodunit

Country ThanksgivingSummary: A new CD of country holiday hits.

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *