SNL Transcripts: Ludacris: 11/18/06

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 32: Episode 6

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


November 18th, 2006




Mary J. Blige
An NBC Special ReportSummary: “Saturday Night Live” will be delayed tonight, so that NBC can present a special message from President George W. Bush (Jason Sudeikis), who announces to America that he accidentally started up another war during his visit to Vietnam this past week.

Recurring Characters: President George W. Bush.


MontageNote: Don Pardo creates his own unique pronunciation for Ludacris’ name.

Ludacris’ MonologueSummary: Ludacris differentiates the times he identifies himself as Ludacris versus using his real name, until he’s interrupted by childhood friend Rick “Rickdiculous” Barnes (Kenan Thompson).

First Performed: 04j.


Young Douglas: Hypin’ the ClassicsSummary: Rapper Young Douglas (Ludacris) provides backing tracks on classic hits by Harry Connick, Jr. (Jason Sudeikis) and other contemporary artists.

Recurring Characters: Harry Connick, Jr., Barbra Streisand, Dolly Parton, Louis Armstrong.


Dr. Archibald BitchslapSummary: Samantha Hawkins (Maya Rudolph) and Dr. Archibald Bitchslap (Ludacris) show troubled couples how to save their marriage.


The O’Reilly FactorSummary: Bill O’Reilly (Darrell Hammond) plans to boycott Def Jam Records for signing Ludacris to their label.

Recurring Characters: Bill O’Reilly.

Booty BidnessSummary: Ludacris promotes a new line of club clothing that businesswomen can wear at the office.


The Blizzard ManSummary: In order to boost a track on his album, Ludacris hires white-boy rapper Blizzard Man (Andy Samberg) to work his magic at the recording studio.


Ludacris performs “Shake Your Moneymaker”Lyrics

Weekend Update with Amy Poehler & Seth MeyersSummary: John Mark Karr (Bill Hader) takes offense to O.J. Simpson’s book because he’s the real killer. Bobby Knight (Jason Sudeikis) yells at Seth Meyers for making an obvious Spider-Man joke. Teen magazine editor Anoosa Rosenfeld (Maya Rudolph) applauds anorexia and eats her lip gloss.

Recurring Characters: John Mark Karr, Bobby Knight.

Note: Maya Rudolph’s “Anoosa Rosenfeld” character is based on Seventeen Magazine’s editor-in-chief, Atoosa Rubenstein.


PoolwatchSummary: Pimped-out lifeguard (Ludacris) must carefully remove his bling and expensive designer clothing before he feels comfortable diving in the pool to rescue a woman from drowning.

Hair TransplantSummary: Shady hair transplant practictioner, Dr. Schultz (Ludacris), tries to make a quick exit from his medical trailer after releasing a patient (Will Forte) who has the Elton John-style hair that he envies.

Lesbian Cruise ShipSummary: Captain Ronald Huggins (Ludacris) is sure that steering a ship filled with vacationing lesbians will play out the same way it does in his porn video collection.


Ludacris with Mary J. Blige performs “Runaway”Mary J. Blige First Performed: 92o.


Old FriendsSummary: Two old friends (Ludacris, Darrell Hammond) sit at the lunch counter and complain about how hectic today’s modern conveniences make their lives.

Note: Darrell Hammond’s fake moustache comes loose, prompting an ad-lib from Ludacris.




Dress Rehearsal Cuts

TurkeysSummary: A group of turkeys (Ludacris, Andy Samberg, Fred Armisen, Maya Rudolph, Jason Sudeikis) outrun bullets before Thanksgiving.

An SNL Digital ShortSummary: Andy Samberg stars in a series of movie trailers.

Hip Hop Hoodunit

Country ThanksgivingSummary: A new CD of country holiday hits.

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