Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 32: Episode 6
Booty Bidness
…..Ludacris
[ open on Ludacris dressed in a fancy business suit, standing in front of a sign that reads “Booty Bidness” ]
Ludacris: Hi. This is your man Luda. Some of y’all know me as an MC – some of y’all know me as an actor. But, first and foremost, I’m what they call a “bidness man.” And I been thinkin’ a lot about the state of women’s apparel lately.
[ cut to images of a group of women dancing in a club, all of them wearing shirts with ludicrous messages like “Diva”, “Flirt”, and “Naughty Girl” written across the front ]
Ludacris V/O: I see you ladies out in da club, lookin’ fine, expressin’ yourself with your sexy t-shirts on.
[ cut back to Ludacris ]
Ludacris V/O: But when you in the office, you gotta keep it under wraps. Well, not any more! That’s why I created Booty Bidness Workwear.
[ cut to businesswoman walking through the office, flanked by male co-workers ]
Ludacris V/O: For women who demand attention all day long.
[ she turns corner to reveal that her business suit has “Nympho” written across the front ]
Ludacris V/O: Booty Bidness Workwear is for the woman who knows that being the boss doesn’t mean you gotta stop being fine!
[ show second businesswoman giving a presentation while wearing a t-shirt with “Porn Star” written across the front ]
Ludacris V/O: As a working lady, you know it’s hard to stand out.
[ show third businesswoman rubbing a male co-worker’s shoulder. Her business suit reads “Bi-Curious.” She turns to adjust a female oc-worker’s collar, then makes her exit. ]
Ludacris V/O: So make them sit up and take notice, and get the right kind of attention.
[ cut back to Ludacris ]
Ludacris: You have extra gifts – why not remind people of that?
[ show close-up of women wearing dress shirt with “They’re Real” written across the front ]
Ludacris V/O: Empower yourself!
[ cut to businesswoman sitting on tabletop, revealing “Tasty” printed across the bottom of her skirt ]
Ludacris V/O: Be strong!
[ show two businesswomen on cell phones running into each other in an outdoor crowd; both have messages printed on their business suits ]
Ludacris V/O: Independent!
[ cut back to Ludacris ]
Ludacris: Be naaaasty! Booty Bidness Workwear. For when you want to work.. your bidness! [ stares into the camera ]
Announcer: Available at JCPenney.
[ fade ]
