SNL Transcripts: Matthew Fox: 12/02/06: Tenacious D performs “The Metal”

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 32: Episode 7

06g: Matthew Fox / Tenacious D

Tenacious D performs “The Metal”

…..Matthew Fox
…..Jack Black
…..Kyle Gass
The Metal…..Jason Reed
…..SNL Cast

Matthew Fox: Once again, Tenacious D!

(cheers and applause)

Tenacious D: (singing)
Since the dawn of Time, one genre of music has ruled with an iron fist

Heavy Metal!

[reveal a metal monster at the center of the stage]

You can’t kill the metal
The metal will live on
Punk Rock tried to kill the metal
But they failed, as they were smite to the ground
New Wave tried to kill the metal
But they failed, as they were stricken down to the ground
Grunge tried to kill the metal – Ha, hahahahaha
They failed, as they were thrown to the ground
Yeah!
Aargh!
Aargh!

[members of SNL’s cast enter the stage, dressed as the various musical genres described]

Tenacious D & Cast: [singing]No one can destroy the metal
The metal will strike you down with a vicious blow
We are the vanquished foes of the metal
We tried to win, for why we do not know.

[the musical genres break apart, as the New Wave (Fred Armisen, Maya Rudolph) dances next to The Metal]

Tenacious D: [singing] New Wave tried to destroy the metal, but the metal had its way

[The Metal strikes a blow across New Wave, sending them crashing to the floor] [Grunge (Andy Samberg, Jason Sudeikis) moves in to take on The Metal]

Grunge then tried to dethrone the metal, but metal was in the way

[The Metal kicks Grunge to the ground] [Punk Rock (Bill Hader, Amy Poehler) moves in]

Punk Rock tried to destroy the metal, but metal was a-much too strong

[The Metal raises its arms menacingly, as Punk Rock sinks to the ground] [Techno (Kristen Wiig) steps in, meekly]

Techno tried to defile the metal, but techno was proven wrong, yea!

[The Metal looks at Techno in disbelief, so Techno simply turns and walks away]

Metal!
It comes from hell!

[Jack Black jumps up toward the drummer, as the genres re-enter the stage]

Sloooo-moooo!

[The Metal slowly throws one genre to the ground after another, all acted out in slow-motion]

Iron Maiden!

Judas Priest!

Satanic Dog Pile!

[all the genres jump on top of The Metal in one heap, as he bursts through them in slow-motion]

METAL!!

Submitted by: Dirk Noel

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