SNL Transcripts: Annette Bening: 12/09/06: An SNL Movie Trailer Recut

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 32: Episode 8

06h: Annette Bening / Gwen Stefani, Akon

An SNL Movie Trailer Recut

[MPAA logo. “R” for Restricted.] [Opens with Mayan indian Jaguar Paw opening his eyes,dramatic music, shot of the rising sun]

Caption on black screen: From Mel Gibson. AcademyAward Winning Director of Braveheart and The Passion of the Christ.

[Shot of a panther’s eye]

Caption on black screen: What would cause one of thegreatest civilizations in history….

[Shots of Mayan sculptures, statues]

Caption on black screen: To dissapear?

[Shot of Jaguar Paw bound and sitting on the jungle,looks up and answers]

Jaguar Paw:[Subtitled] The Jews.

[Shots of Mayan indians running like hell through the jungle]

Caption subtitles: The jews are coming!! Run for your lives!!

[Mayan chief stands on top of a pyramid, hands up,talks to a large crowd below]

Mayan chief: [Subtitled]Hey, you guys! The jews areresponsible for all the wars in the world![shot ofMayan women laughing] What are you laughing at, sugartits? Aw, I didn’t mean it. I’m so wasted right now.

[Quick action montage]

Caption: Mel Gibson’s Apocalypto

[Shot of creepy Mayan girl]

Mayan Girl: [Whispers. Subtitles] I smell bagels.

[Screen turns black] [Cheers and applause]

Submitted by: Waldo San Miguel

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