Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 32: Episode 8
An SNL Movie Trailer Recut
[MPAA logo. “R” for Restricted.]
[Opens with Mayan indian Jaguar Paw opening his eyes,dramatic music, shot of the rising sun]
Caption on black screen: From Mel Gibson. AcademyAward Winning Director of Braveheart and The Passion of the Christ.
[Shot of a panther’s eye]
Caption on black screen: What would cause one of thegreatest civilizations in history….
[Shots of Mayan sculptures, statues]
Caption on black screen: To dissapear?
[Shot of Jaguar Paw bound and sitting on the jungle,looks up and answers]
Jaguar Paw:[Subtitled] The Jews.
[Shots of Mayan indians running like hell through the jungle]
Caption subtitles: The jews are coming!! Run for your lives!!
[Mayan chief stands on top of a pyramid, hands up,talks to a large crowd below]
Mayan chief: [Subtitled]Hey, you guys! The jews areresponsible for all the wars in the world![shot ofMayan women laughing] What are you laughing at, sugartits? Aw, I didn’t mean it. I’m so wasted right now.
[Quick action montage]
Caption: Mel Gibson’s Apocalypto
[Shot of creepy Mayan girl]
Mayan Girl: [Whispers. Subtitles] I smell bagels.
[Screen turns black]
[Cheers and applause]
Submitted by: Waldo San Miguel