Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 32: Episode 9
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Air Date:Host:Musical Guest:Special Guests:Cameos:
December 9th, 2006
Justin Timberlake
Justin Timberlake
None
Jimmy Fallon
Cameron Diaz
“Santa’s My Boyfriend”Summary: While trimming the Christmas tree, Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph, and Kristen Wiig harmonize about the illicit boyfriend they have in Santa Claus.
Transcript
Montage
Justin Timberlake’s MonologueSummary: Justin Timberlake sings his favorite Christmas song with Alvin (Bill Hader) & The Chipmunks (Fred Armisen, Andy Samberg).
First Hosted: 03b.
Transcript
HomelessvilleSummary: A Salvation Army bellringer dressed as Santa Claus (Will Forte) faces donation competition from Homelessville’s Cup-of-Soup mascot (Justin Timberlake).
Recurring Characters: Mascot.
Target GreatlandSummary: While the Target clerk (Kristen Wiig) leaves shoppers hanging so she can buy decorative merchandise for her home, a stock boy (Justin Timberlake) mulls his chapped, burned, allergen-ridden lips.
Recurring Characters: Target Clerk.
An SNL Digital ShortSummary: In a send up of R&B/rap videos of the early 90’s, a Color Me Badd-esque duo (Andy Samberg, Justin Timberlake) surprise their ladies by gifting their “Dick in a Box”.
Transcript
The Barry Gibb Talk ShowSummary: Robin Gibb (Justin Timberlake) remains mum while Barry Gibb (Jimmy Fallon) issues insane threats to his political guests.
Recurring Characters: Barry Gibb, Robin Gibb, Jimmy Carter.
Transcript
Dry EyesSummary: The game show where the winners don’t cave in to their emotions and cry.
Note: Originally cut from the Matthew Fox dress rehearsal two weeks earlier.
Transcript
Justin Timberlake performs “My Love”Lyrics
Weekend Update with Amy Poehler & Seth MeyersSummary: Lou Dobbs (Darrell Hammond) provides his solutions for making a 700-mile wall along the Mexican border a reality. A same-sex couple from New Jersey (Fred Armisen, Bill Hader) comment on their civil union and the Christmas holidays.
Recurring Characters: Vinnie, Gay Guy from New Jersey.
Transcript
Hip Hop KidsSummary: Teenaged hip hop artists ignorantly try to dance their way out of a mine shaft they got trapped in while using it as a shortcut.
Transcript
St. Ambrose AcademySummary: Mrs. Hastings (Kenan Thompson) comes to the rescue when her ghetto-acting stepdaughter (Justin Timberlake) covets the role of an elf in the school play.
Recurring Characters: Mrs. Hastings.
A Holiday Message From Nancy GraceSummary: Nancy Grace (Amy Poehler) bestows her judgment upon the story of a stripper who falsely accused three college boys of raping her.
Recurring Characters: Nancy Grace.
Justin Timberlake performs “What Goes Around”Lyrics
GoodnightsTranscript
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Dress Rehearsal Cuts
Quitting TimeSummary: Toy store employee (Justin Timberlake) brags to his co-worker (Fred Armisen) about getting off work at five o’clock.
Anderson Cooper 360Summary: Anderson Cooper (Seth Meyers) talks to two soldiers (Jason sudeikis, Will Forte) about the U.S. exit strategy from Iraq.
Recurring Characters: Anderson Cooper.
Condom AdSummary: Soap opera stars Michael Park and Kim Zimmer talk about the condoms they use during sex scenes.
Old FriendsSummary: A man (Will Forte) kidnaps Justin Timberlake to impress a woman (Maya Rudolph).
Michael McDonald’sSummary: michael McDonald (Justin Timberlake) decides to open a similarly-named fast food restaurant.
