Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 32: Episode 9
Goodnights
Keisha…..Kristen Wiig
Trey-J…..Justin Timberlake
Jo-Jessica…..Maya Rudolph
Girlie-t……Amy Poehler
Flip Flop…..Jason Sudeikis
K Smoove…..Kenan Thompson
Cave creature…..Seth Meyers
Cave creature…..Bill Hader
[ TV Show theme song begins with credits for each character ]
Trey-J: Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo!
All [ rapping ]: We’re the Hip Hop Kids and we’re on the way. We’re going to help you dance your troubles away. We study hard and stay in school.Go on adventures, it’s always cool. We the Hip Hop Kids.
Jo-Jessica: Check it!
Trey-J: Before you wreck it.
[ display of episode number and title screen ]
Announcer: Episode 42: Yo, Yo, Yo! How we gonna get outta this mine shaft, yo!
[ Keisha, Jo-Jessica, and Trey-J are at front of stage with Flip Flop and Girlie-t enter from the back of stage ]
Trey-J: Ok, team, what’s the repooort.
Girlie-t: Yo, these shafts are straight closed up.
Flip Flop: Word, we gonna run outta oxygen soon, yo.
Jo-Jessica: Yo, why’d we take a shortcut through a mineshaft in the first place?
[ Trey-J blows whistle ]
Trey-J: Negativity ain’t helpin’, Jo-Jessica. We need to get to Douglas High School and do our inspiration Hip-Hop dance or those kids’ll start using *druuugs*!
Keisha: Yo, we need to think up an idea-uh.
Trey-J: Well, I only know one way to solve a problem.
Girlie-t: Dance it out.
Trey-J: Tru-dat. K Smoove, drop a beat!
[ K Smoove begins playing music ]
Trey-J [ rapping ]: Yo, yo. We gotta think, yo. We gotta think about a problem and a solution. I don’t know if we..
[ cave begins to rumble and Keisha is hit on the head with a rock and falls down ]
Various: Oh no! Oh no!
Jo-Jessica: Yo, that rock hit Keisha on the head, yo. Then that stalagmite fell on her.
Girlie-t: That’s a stalagtite, Jo-Jessica. You gotta reckonize your sedimentary rock formations!
Jo-Jessica: Yo, who you calling a bitch, bitch?!
Girlie-t: I never said the word bitch, bitch!
[ Trey-J blows whistle ]
Trey-J: Yo! Twenty second TO. Keisha looks hurt bad, so we need to speed up our exit scratedgy. Let’s think.
Flip Flop: Yo, I think better when I’m busting a move, yo.
Trey-J: What!? K Smoove! Show us where out beat’s at!
[ K Smoove begins playing music and caves begin to rumble again and Jo-Jessica gets hit on the head with rock and falls down ]
Trey-J: Dance it out, Jo-Jessica, dance it off!
[ Jo-Jessica gets hit on the head with another rock ]
Trey-J: Yo, damn! It’s like these rocks know when we dancing, yo.
Girlie-t: Yo, I think it might be music and the dancing that’s shaking these rocks loose.
Trey-J: Foo! Dancing don’t cause problems – it *solves* ’em!
Flip Flop: We gonna straight up run out of food soon, yo.
Girlie-t: Yo, this cannot get any worse.
[ cave creatures rise from the back of the stage ]
Trey-J: Yooooo. On the getting worse front, I think we’ve got some company in the form of *cave creatures*!
Flip Flop: What do we do?
Trey-J: *What* do we *always* do?
Girlie-t: You think we dance it out?
Trey-J: What do you think?
Girlie-t: I was thinking maybe we should stay still. If these creatures live in this cave, they’ve probably have evolved to sense movement rather than seeing actual shapes. I think dancing may be the worst possible call, yo.
Trey-J: Flip Flop?
Flip Flop: Yo, I say we do how we do, yo.
Trey-J: K Smoove, jam it!
[ K Smoove begins playing music and cave creatures close in on Flip Flop surrounding him ]
Flip Flop: Oh yeah, how you like those moves, creatures. Ugh! Double up on you, hyah! Ugh! You getting served, you getting served, cave creatures.
[ cave creatures attack Flip Flop ]
Flip Flop: Oh, no! I’m getting served! I’m getting served!
[ cave creatures bring Flip Flop to the floor ]
Trey-J: Yo, it was like those creatures knew where he was!
Girlie-t: Yo, they did cause he was yelling at them!
Trey-J: Why you yelling at me? What are we going to do now?
Girlie-t: Yo, those cave creatures gave me an idea, yo.
Trey-J: For real?
[ cut to later with Hip Hop Kids Insert ]
Trey-J: Yo. I can’t believe we ate Keisha and Jo-Jessica, yo.
Girlie-T: You need to get past that. Cause they got ate. And that’s all there is.
Trey-J: Yo. On the real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real. I feel like dancing straight up worked against us this time, yo. What do you think, K Smoove?
[ K Smoove scratches a record a couple of times in reply. ]
Trey-J: If there was ever a day I wish you could talk, it would be today, K Smoove.
[ K Smoove scratches a record once in reply ]
Trey-J: Yo, look a tiny beam of light!
[ Trey-J points to crack in wall ]
Girlie-t: That’s way too small to fit through, yo.
Trey-J: What if we tried to *dance* through it.
Girlie-t: I like the way you think!
Trey-J: Yo!
Girlie-t: Boom! K Smoove!
[ K Smoove begins playing music and Trey-J begins to dance towards the crack ]
Trey-J: [ rapping ] Got to walk and up to it. Got to walk and up to it.
Announcer: Will the hip hop team dance through the hole? Will they face criminal charges for eating their teammates? This and more next time on “Hip Hip Kids”!
[ fade ]
Submitted by: OVNS
