SNL Transcripts: Jeremy Piven: 01/20/07: MacGruber III

Saturday Night Live Transcripts

Season 32: Episode 11

MacGruber III

Jojo…..Jeremy Piven
Casey…..Maya Rudolph
MacGruber…..Will Forte

[FADE IN on opening sequence.]

Singers:
MacGruber!
The guy’s a freakin’ genius!

[CUT to MacGruber in a karate pose against footage of flames.]

Singers: MACGRUBER-RRR!!!!!

[CUT to an old fishing boat tied to a dock. SUPERIMPOSE, “Prison Boat.” CUT to a sign marked “Boat Control Room” as sirens wail.]

Jojo: [struggling with door] This boat door is welded shut!

Casey: We’ve got a doozy on our hands, MacGruber. That’s over ten pounds of c-bar explosives. This baby’s gonna blow in three seconds!

MacGruber: We can do this! Jojo! Hand me that old bucket filled with bum sperm.

Jojo: [disgusted] No.

[CUT to the boat exploding in flames.]

Singers: MACGRUBER-RRR!!!!!

[FADE to black over applause.]

Submitted by: Sean

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020. View all posts by Don Roy King