SNL Transcripts: Drew Barrymore: 02/03/07



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 32: Episode 12


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:

Guest Writers:


February 3rd, 2007

Drew Barrymore

Lily Allen

None

Horatio Sanz

Jim Cashman

JB Smoove
American IdolSummary: “American Idol” judges Simon cowell (Jason Sudeikis), Paula Abdul (Amy Poehler), and Randy Jackson (Kenan Thompson) travel the country to offer criticism to animal contestants.

Recurring Characters: Ryan Seacrest, Simon Cowell, Paula Abdul, Randy Jackson.

Montage

Drew Barrymore’s MonologueSummary: While making her way through the studio halls to make her acquaintance with the 5-Timer’s Club, Drew Barrymore bumps headfirst into Andy Samberg and unravels a series of romantic-comedy film cliches.

First Hosted: 82g.

Transcript

The Dakota Fanning ShowSummary: Brainy child star Dakota Fanning (Amy Poehler) fails to relate to other child stars in her age group.

Transcript

Poison TherapySummary: A marriage counselor (Kristen Wiig) helps patch the rocky relationship between a husband (Will Forte) and the wife (Drew Barrymore) who continuously poisons him with dioxin.

Transcript

An SNL Digital ShortSummary: A presentation of the “Body Fuzion” workout tape from 1986, which features four women (Drew Barrymore, Kristen Wiig, Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph) working up a rough sweat while barely performing an actual exercise regimen.

Transcript

Target GreatlandSummary: The Target Clerk (Kristen Wiig) trains a new hire (Drew Barrymore) with an attention span even short than her own.

Recurring Characters: Target clerk.

Nervous Job IntervieweeSummary: A nervous job interviewee (Drew Barrymore) frantically sips a caffeineated beverage while insulting a company’s Human Resources team (Amy Poehler, Kenan Thompson, Maya Rudolph).

Lily Allen performs “Smile”Bio: Lily Allen (1985-). English singer/songwriter; began to receive mainstream coverage after posting demos on Myspace.com; known for regularly making disparaging remarks about other musicians.

Lyrics

Weekend Update with Amy Poehler & Seth MeyersSummary: Weekend Update nanny Barbara Birmingham (Kenan Thompson) demonstrates the proper way to discipline a surly child.

Transcript

Versace Super Bowl PartySummary: Donatella Versace (Maya Rudolph) celebrates the Super Bowl with Prince (Fred Armisen), David Beckham (Seth Meyers) abd Posh Spice (Drew Barrymore), and Elton John (horatio Sanz).

Recurring Characters: Donatella Versace, Prince, Posh Spice, Elton John.

Transcript

Jojo the ValetSummary: Jojo (Amy Poehler) the gawky, spunky country club valet makes his feelings known for recently-divorced club member, Ashley Sanderson (Drew Barrymore).

Transcript

Firestarter Smoked SausagesSummary: Now grown-up Charlie McGee (Drew Barrymore) uses her pyrokinetic to hawk smoked sausages.

Note: Originally cut from the dress rehearsal of Barrymore’s previous hosting stint on 02/14/04. Horatio Sanz had the role now played by Jason Sudeikis.

Transcript

Lily Allen performs “LDN”

The FormosaSummary: Drunken celebrities Peter O’Toole (Bill Hader) and Drew Barrymore reminisce about the good-old-days of decadent Hollywood behavior.

Recurring Characters: Peter O’Toole.

Transcript

Nelson Baby ToupeesSummary: Hair Club For Men spoof promotes haipieces for babies.

Note: Repeat from 01/21/06.

GoodnightsTranscript

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Dress Rehearsal Cuts

VH-1 Super Duper BowlSummary: B-list celebrities offer wry commentary during Super Bowl LXI.

Gulliver’s TravelSummary: Tiny Lilliputian women wonder if Gulliver is larger than them in all the right places.

Movie LineSummary: Two men (Jason Sudeikis, Andy Samberg) break into a confrontation while standing in line at the movies.

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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