Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 32: Episode 12
]]>
Air Date:Host:Musical Guest:Special Guests:Cameos:Guest Writers:
February 3rd, 2007
Drew Barrymore
Lily Allen
None
Horatio Sanz
Jim Cashman
JB Smoove
American IdolSummary: “American Idol” judges Simon cowell (Jason Sudeikis), Paula Abdul (Amy Poehler), and Randy Jackson (Kenan Thompson) travel the country to offer criticism to animal contestants.
Recurring Characters: Ryan Seacrest, Simon Cowell, Paula Abdul, Randy Jackson.
Montage
Drew Barrymore’s MonologueSummary: While making her way through the studio halls to make her acquaintance with the 5-Timer’s Club, Drew Barrymore bumps headfirst into Andy Samberg and unravels a series of romantic-comedy film cliches.
First Hosted: 82g.
Transcript
The Dakota Fanning ShowSummary: Brainy child star Dakota Fanning (Amy Poehler) fails to relate to other child stars in her age group.
Transcript
Poison TherapySummary: A marriage counselor (Kristen Wiig) helps patch the rocky relationship between a husband (Will Forte) and the wife (Drew Barrymore) who continuously poisons him with dioxin.
Transcript
An SNL Digital ShortSummary: A presentation of the “Body Fuzion” workout tape from 1986, which features four women (Drew Barrymore, Kristen Wiig, Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph) working up a rough sweat while barely performing an actual exercise regimen.
Transcript
Target GreatlandSummary: The Target Clerk (Kristen Wiig) trains a new hire (Drew Barrymore) with an attention span even short than her own.
Recurring Characters: Target clerk.
Nervous Job IntervieweeSummary: A nervous job interviewee (Drew Barrymore) frantically sips a caffeineated beverage while insulting a company’s Human Resources team (Amy Poehler, Kenan Thompson, Maya Rudolph).
Lily Allen performs “Smile”Bio: Lily Allen (1985-). English singer/songwriter; began to receive mainstream coverage after posting demos on Myspace.com; known for regularly making disparaging remarks about other musicians.
Lyrics
Weekend Update with Amy Poehler & Seth MeyersSummary: Weekend Update nanny Barbara Birmingham (Kenan Thompson) demonstrates the proper way to discipline a surly child.
Transcript
Versace Super Bowl PartySummary: Donatella Versace (Maya Rudolph) celebrates the Super Bowl with Prince (Fred Armisen), David Beckham (Seth Meyers) abd Posh Spice (Drew Barrymore), and Elton John (horatio Sanz).
Recurring Characters: Donatella Versace, Prince, Posh Spice, Elton John.
Transcript
Jojo the ValetSummary: Jojo (Amy Poehler) the gawky, spunky country club valet makes his feelings known for recently-divorced club member, Ashley Sanderson (Drew Barrymore).
Transcript
Firestarter Smoked SausagesSummary: Now grown-up Charlie McGee (Drew Barrymore) uses her pyrokinetic to hawk smoked sausages.
Note: Originally cut from the dress rehearsal of Barrymore’s previous hosting stint on 02/14/04. Horatio Sanz had the role now played by Jason Sudeikis.
Transcript
Lily Allen performs “LDN”
The FormosaSummary: Drunken celebrities Peter O’Toole (Bill Hader) and Drew Barrymore reminisce about the good-old-days of decadent Hollywood behavior.
Recurring Characters: Peter O’Toole.
Transcript
Nelson Baby ToupeesSummary: Hair Club For Men spoof promotes haipieces for babies.
Note: Repeat from 01/21/06.
GoodnightsTranscript
]]>
Dress Rehearsal Cuts
VH-1 Super Duper BowlSummary: B-list celebrities offer wry commentary during Super Bowl LXI.
Gulliver’s TravelSummary: Tiny Lilliputian women wonder if Gulliver is larger than them in all the right places.
Movie LineSummary: Two men (Jason Sudeikis, Andy Samberg) break into a confrontation while standing in line at the movies.
