SNL Transcripts: Drew Barrymore: 02/03/07



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 32: Episode 12


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:

Guest Writers:


February 3rd, 2007

Drew Barrymore

Lily Allen

None

Horatio Sanz

Jim Cashman

JB Smoove
American IdolSummary: “American Idol” judges Simon cowell (Jason Sudeikis), Paula Abdul (Amy Poehler), and Randy Jackson (Kenan Thompson) travel the country to offer criticism to animal contestants.

Recurring Characters: Ryan Seacrest, Simon Cowell, Paula Abdul, Randy Jackson.

Montage

Drew Barrymore’s MonologueSummary: While making her way through the studio halls to make her acquaintance with the 5-Timer’s Club, Drew Barrymore bumps headfirst into Andy Samberg and unravels a series of romantic-comedy film cliches.

First Hosted: 82g.

Transcript

The Dakota Fanning ShowSummary: Brainy child star Dakota Fanning (Amy Poehler) fails to relate to other child stars in her age group.

Transcript

Poison TherapySummary: A marriage counselor (Kristen Wiig) helps patch the rocky relationship between a husband (Will Forte) and the wife (Drew Barrymore) who continuously poisons him with dioxin.

Transcript

An SNL Digital ShortSummary: A presentation of the “Body Fuzion” workout tape from 1986, which features four women (Drew Barrymore, Kristen Wiig, Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph) working up a rough sweat while barely performing an actual exercise regimen.

Transcript

Target GreatlandSummary: The Target Clerk (Kristen Wiig) trains a new hire (Drew Barrymore) with an attention span even short than her own.

Recurring Characters: Target clerk.

Nervous Job IntervieweeSummary: A nervous job interviewee (Drew Barrymore) frantically sips a caffeineated beverage while insulting a company’s Human Resources team (Amy Poehler, Kenan Thompson, Maya Rudolph).

Lily Allen performs “Smile”Bio: Lily Allen (1985-). English singer/songwriter; began to receive mainstream coverage after posting demos on Myspace.com; known for regularly making disparaging remarks about other musicians.

Lyrics

Weekend Update with Amy Poehler & Seth MeyersSummary: Weekend Update nanny Barbara Birmingham (Kenan Thompson) demonstrates the proper way to discipline a surly child.

Transcript

Versace Super Bowl PartySummary: Donatella Versace (Maya Rudolph) celebrates the Super Bowl with Prince (Fred Armisen), David Beckham (Seth Meyers) abd Posh Spice (Drew Barrymore), and Elton John (horatio Sanz).

Recurring Characters: Donatella Versace, Prince, Posh Spice, Elton John.

Transcript

Jojo the ValetSummary: Jojo (Amy Poehler) the gawky, spunky country club valet makes his feelings known for recently-divorced club member, Ashley Sanderson (Drew Barrymore).

Transcript

Firestarter Smoked SausagesSummary: Now grown-up Charlie McGee (Drew Barrymore) uses her pyrokinetic to hawk smoked sausages.

Note: Originally cut from the dress rehearsal of Barrymore’s previous hosting stint on 02/14/04. Horatio Sanz had the role now played by Jason Sudeikis.

Transcript

Lily Allen performs “LDN”

The FormosaSummary: Drunken celebrities Peter O’Toole (Bill Hader) and Drew Barrymore reminisce about the good-old-days of decadent Hollywood behavior.

Recurring Characters: Peter O’Toole.

Transcript

Nelson Baby ToupeesSummary: Hair Club For Men spoof promotes haipieces for babies.

Note: Repeat from 01/21/06.

GoodnightsTranscript

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Dress Rehearsal Cuts

VH-1 Super Duper BowlSummary: B-list celebrities offer wry commentary during Super Bowl LXI.

Gulliver’s TravelSummary: Tiny Lilliputian women wonder if Gulliver is larger than them in all the right places.

Movie LineSummary: Two men (Jason Sudeikis, Andy Samberg) break into a confrontation while standing in line at the movies.

SNL Transcripts

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