SNL Transcripts: Drew Barrymore: 02/03/07: An SNL Digital Short: Body Fuzion


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 32: Episode 12

06l: Drew Barrymore / Lily Allen

An SNL Digital Short: Body Fuzion

Written by: Amy Poehler, Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph

Desiree…..Drew Barrymore
Donna…..Maya Rudolph
Michelle…..Kristen Wiig
Donna M…..Amy Poehler

[ tag (over black screen): “An SNL Digital Short” ] [ cut to full-framed videotape presentation, with SUPER: “Body Fuzion Low Impact Workout” over jazzy piano music. Note that the picture contrast level occasionally fades in and out. ] [ cut to workout studio scene, four women dressed in 80’s exercise garb ]

Desiree: [ cheery ] I’m Desiree. And this.. is “Body Fuzion.” [ close-up ] Do you want to meet my friends?

[ cut to close-up of Donna ]

Donna: Donna.

[ cut to close-up of Michelle ]

Michelle: Michelle.

[ cut to close-up of Donna M. ]

Donna M.: Donna.

[ cut to group shot ]

Desiree: Let’s begin. This is a Low Impact, Level One workout. But, just because it’s Low Impact, doesn’t mean you won’t get —

[ cut to Desiree poking her head between Donna M.’s legs ]

Desiree: — high results!

[ card: “First Exercise: “Steps” ” ] [ cut to close-up of Desiree ]

Desiree: Our first exercise.. is called “The Step.”

[ cut to group shot of the women performing the exercise ]

Desiree: Step left.. step right.. left.. right.

[ cut to close-up of Donna ]

Donna: WHOO!!!

[ close-up full shot of Desiree performing the exercise, her spandexed breasts jiggling ]

Desiree: Left.. right.

[ cut to extreme close-up of Desiree ]

Desiree: If this is not challenging enough, watch Michell show you the “advanced” style.

[ cut to Michelle putting an extra sashay into the exercise move ]

Desiree V/O: Left.. right.. left.. or

[ cut to close-up of Desiree ]

Desiree: Take it easy, and do it easier like Donna M.

[ cut to Donna M. performing the same exercise with an extra-slow sashay ]

Desiree V/O: Left.. right.. left.. right.. left.. right.. left.. left —

[ as Desiree’s voice gives the commands, a series of shots are jump-cut — Donna’s hips swaying, Michelle’s breasts swaying, Donna M.’s hips swaying, Desiree’s breasts swaying ] [ Michelle wipes her brow with a smile ] [ cut to close-up of Desiree ]

Desiree: This aligns our shockras [?] and helps oxygenate blood.

[ card: “Muscle Fitness” ] [ Desiree walks over to Michelle and places her arms on her shoulders ]

Desiree: Let’s tone our arms. You can use weights, or any household item.

Michelle: For a more advanced workout, use one-pound hand weights!

[ cut to Michelle’s arms holding the hand-weights at knee level, as she slowly lifts them up past her crotch and breasts and up to her slyly-grinning face ] [ cut to Donna ]

Donna: Pencils! [ show Donna lifting the pencil hand-weights ] [ cut to Donna M. ]

Donna M.: Or air. [ she mimes lifting air hand-weights ] [ card: “Flexibility” ] [ cut to Desiree leaning against the fireplace ]

Desiree: Flexibility is important. [ she raises her above her head ] Breathe. And, one.. two.. three.

[ cut to Donna performing the exercise ]

Desiree V/O: Do the best you can.

[ cut to Michelle performing the exercise — as she raises her leg, a pixelized circle covers her exposed crotch ]

Desiree V/O: Someone has done this before!

[ cut back to Desiree at the fireplace, still with her leg raised high ]

Desiree: Take it to the limit.

[ cut to close-up of Desiree, as she raises her leg straight to the ceiling and proceeds to bend it completely clockwise ]

Desiree: If this is too difficult.. work your fingers.

[ cut to Donna M. stretched across the floor, two fingers dressed in tights and stretching along the length of her buttocks ] [ SUPER: “Fitness is important” ] [ card: “Good Job” ] [ this part of the tape is clearly damaged from overuse, as lines begin to bounce along the top and bottom of the screen for a few seconds ] [ cut to Desiree ]

Desiree: That’s all for today. Put in Tape 2 for an even lower level body workout.

[ cut to group shot ]

Desiree: [ points at camera ] “Body Fuzion!” Yaaaayyyyyy!!!!

[ all four women dance and jiggle with excitement, occasionally hugging one another, bouncing their hips together, and rubbing each other’s buttocks ] [ freeze-frame, with credits: “(c) 1986 Hollywood Productions Inc. & WGBH Boston” ] [ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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