Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 32: Episode 13
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Air Date:Host:Musical Guest:Special Guests:Cameos:Guest Writers:
February 10th, 2007
Forest Whitaker
Keith Urban
None
None
Jim Cashman
Happy Valentine’s Day from the Cheney FamilySummary: Dick (Darrell Hammond) and Lynne Cheney (Kristen Wiig) read from the various Valentine’s Day cards they’ve received.
Recurring Characters: Dick Cheney.
Transcript
Montage
Forest Whitaker’s MonologueSummary: Forest Whitaker and Maya Rudolph sing “Get Ready.”
Bio: Forest Whitaker (1961). Actor; entered college on a football scholarship, yet focused on music and trained as an operatic tenor before turning his interests toward acting; films include: “Fast Times at Ridgemont High” (1982), “Platoon” (1986), and “Good Morning, Vietnam” (1987); Oscar-nominated for his portrayal of Idi Amin in “The Last King of Scotland.”
Bronx Beat with Betty & JodiSummary: Betty Caruso (Amy Poehler) and Jodi Deitz (Maya Rudolph) chatter about the cold weather in New York this week, while interviewing Dr. Joseph Humphries (Forest Whitaker) and Dr. Cora Reynolds (Kristen Wiig) about an upcoming blood drive.
Recurring Characters: Betty Caruso, Josi Deitz.
Transcript
An SNL Digital ShortSummary: Ordinary scenes become extraordinary whenever we see “Andy Popping Into Frame.” Will Forte attempts to cut in on the action, until the attention-starved Andy holds a gun to his head.
Singing WaiterSummary: Restaurant patrons (Bill Hader, Amy Poehler, Fred Armisen, Maya Rudolph) endure endless singing from a waiter (Forest Whitaker) who insists on performing the entire song.
Transcript
UrigroSummary: A man (Jason Sudeikis) discusses the renwed vigor of his urine stream.
Note: Repeat from 01/20/07.
Man vs. BeastSummary: Humans compete with animals in a fight to the death.
Recurring Characters: Greg Gumbel.
Transcript
Keith Urban performs “Stupid Boy”Bio: Keith Urban (1967-). Country singer; married to actress Nicole Kidman since 2006; in 2007, sued same-name New Jersey painter for the rights to http://www.keithurban.com.
Weekend Update with Amy Poehler & Seth MeyersSummary: Jesse Jackson (Darrell Hammond) and the Rev. Al Sharpton (Kenan Thompson) measure presidential contender Barack Obama on the Blackness Scale. Scandal-ridden astronaut Bill Oefelein (Jason Sudeikis) tells his side of the story and flirts with Amy Poehler.
Recurring Characters: Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton.
Transcript
Whitney Houston’s Valentines Day SpecialSummary: Love-starved Whitney houston (Maya Rudolph) can only think of Bobby Brown during her Valentine’s special.
Recurring Characters: Whitney Houston, Chaka Khan.
Am I a Crazy Street Person?Summary: Contestants are challenged to guess whether or not panelists are professional business people or crazy street trash.
Note: Cut from the dress rehearsal of this season’s Jake Gyllenhaal episode.
Transcript
Keith Urban performs “Once in a Lifetime”
A Message from the State Island ZooSummary: Zoo official Karen Donnally (Kristen Wiig) shows off a falsely accurate student video on the rocking lifestyle of sloths.
Transcript
GoodnightsTranscript
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Dress Rehearsal Cuts
AstronautSummary: Lisa Nowak (Kristen Wiig); cold open.
Air Force OneSummary: The perfect shoe for white guys who don’t have basketball skills.
Note: This commercial parody will finally air on the episode hosted by Peyton Manning.
Best Chef Super ChallengeSummary: A contestant (Forest Whitaker) makes rude remarks to get the judges to choose him.
The BossSummary: The boss (Forest Whitaker) yells at employees who make mistakes.
PaintingsSummary: Two entrepreneurs (Forest Whitaker, Kenan Thompson) sell paintings of white celebrities painted black.
Cold OfficeSummary: Employee (Bill Hader) and his secretary (Amy Poehler) grumble about how cold it is in the office.
Food CourtSummary: Two guys (Fred Armisen, Forest Whitaker) try to pick up women in a food court.
A Moment with the Out-of-Breath Jogger from 1933Summary: In 1933, an exhausted jogger (Andy Samberg) continues to spout the era’s cliched jargon while panting breathlessly.
Recurring Characters: Out-of-Breath Jogger.
