SNL Transcripts: Shia LeBeouf: 04/14/07



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 32: Episode 17


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:


April 14th, 2007

Shia LeBeouf

Avril Lavigne

None

Phil Hyms

Wally Feresten

Lorne Michaels

Alec Baldwin

Wings Of HopeSummary: Jesse Jackson (Darrell Hammond) and Al Sharpton (Kenan Thompson) speak out on Don Imus’ “nappy-headed hoes” slur.

Recurring Characters: Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton.

Montage

Shia LeBeouf’s MonologueSummary: Near-unknown Shia LeBeouf is ecstatic about hosting “Saturday Night Live”, but the glum cast members don’t share “The Kid”‘s enthusiasm.

Bio: Shia LeBeouf (1986-). Actor; starred on Disney Channel’s “EVen Stevens”, 2000-03; films include “Holes” (2003) and “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” (2008).

Also Hosted: 07k.

The Hathaway Moustache Ride CompanySummary: The elegant history of moustache rides is traced back to the vision of their founder, Leonidas Hathaway (Alec Baldwin).

Prince ShowSummary: More eccentric behavior from Prince (Fred Armisen), as Tobey Maguire (Shia LeBeouf) is asked to sit on a giant cupcake and Nancy Grace (Amy Poehler) drawls on.

Recurring Characters: Prince, Beyonce Knowles, Tobey Maguire, Nancy Grace.

Under 21Summary: A group of underaged college students (Andy Samberg, Shia LeBeouf, Bill Hader, Will Forte) make clumsy ploys to buy cases of beer from a convenience store clerk (Kenan Thompson).

Transcript

The Dakota Fanning ShowSummary: Brainy Dakota Fanning (Amy Poehler) mocks fellow child star guests Cole (Shia LeBeouf) and Dylan Sprouse (Andy Samberg), and her little sister, Elle Fanning (Avril Lavigne).

Recurring Characters: Dakota Fanning, Reggie Hudson, Catherine.

An SNL Digital ShortSummary: In a spoof of a cliffhanger from “The O.C.”, “The Shooting” features multiple shootouts as Keith (Bill Hader) pens a letter to his sister (Kristen Wiig).

Transcript

Sofa KingSummary: Entrepreneuer Katir Mutar’s (Fred Armisen) sofas aren’t just great – they’re Sofa King great!

Avril Lavigne performs “Girlfriend”Also Performed: 02i, 03s.

Weekend Update with Amy Poehler & Seth MeyersSummary: Maya Rudolph interviews Howard K. Stern (Andy Samberg). Two gay guys from Connecticut (Fred Armisen, Bill Hader). Don Imus (Darrell Hammond) further incriminates himself.

Knife SalesmenSummary: Salesmen Blade P. Cutsworth (Will Forte) and Bernard Throttlehunt (Shia LeBeouf) goes to extremes to sell their knives to a housewife (Kristen Wiig), even if it means slicing off their own fingers.

Transcript

An Intimate Moment with John Mayer & Jessica SimpsonSummary: Pop stars Jessica Simpson (Kristen Wiig) and John Mayer (Bill Hader) express their love for one another without barely saying a word.

Recurring Characters: Jessica Simpson.

Avril Lavigne performs “I Can Do Better”

Maya & ShiaSummary: With the discovery that their first names rhyme, Maya Rudolph attempts to seduce Shia LeBeouf in her dressing room.

Transcript

GoodnightsTranscript

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Dress Rehearsal Cuts

RoommatesSummary: Student (Shia LaBeouf) tries to get his fat roommates to stop eating his food by using Jared the Subway guy to scare them.

Target GreatlandSummary: Target clerk (Kristen Wiig)’s customers are scared away by cafe clerk’s (Shia LaBeouf) ghost stories.

Recurring Characters: Target clerk.

An SNL Digital ShortSummary: Andy Samberg raps about his brother-in-law Roy.

An Intimate Moment with John Mayer & Jessica Simpson ISummary: Pop stars Jessica Simpson (Kristen Wiig) and John Mayer (Bill Hader) express their love for one another in dead silence.

Recurring Characters: Jessica Simpson.

Movie PitchSummary: Shia LaBeouf makes a movie pitch.

Hardware StoreSummary: Shopper (Fred Armisen) makes a scene at the hardware store by dropping things on his penis.

Monkey BusinessSummary: Teenager (Shia LaBeouf) tries to get rid of the monkeys in his room.

An Intimate Moment with John Mayer & Jessica Simpson IIISummary: Pop stars Jessica Simpson (Kristen Wiig) and John Mayer (Bill Hader) express their love for one another with continued silence.

Recurring Characters: Jessica Simpson.

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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