SNL Transcripts: Shia LeBeouf: 04/14/07

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 32: Episode 17

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


April 14th, 2007

Shia LeBeouf

Avril Lavigne


Phil Hyms

Wally Feresten

Lorne Michaels

Alec Baldwin

Wings Of HopeSummary: Jesse Jackson (Darrell Hammond) and Al Sharpton (Kenan Thompson) speak out on Don Imus’ “nappy-headed hoes” slur.

Recurring Characters: Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton.


Shia LeBeouf’s MonologueSummary: Near-unknown Shia LeBeouf is ecstatic about hosting “Saturday Night Live”, but the glum cast members don’t share “The Kid”‘s enthusiasm.

Bio: Shia LeBeouf (1986-). Actor; starred on Disney Channel’s “EVen Stevens”, 2000-03; films include “Holes” (2003) and “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” (2008).

Also Hosted: 07k.

The Hathaway Moustache Ride CompanySummary: The elegant history of moustache rides is traced back to the vision of their founder, Leonidas Hathaway (Alec Baldwin).

Prince ShowSummary: More eccentric behavior from Prince (Fred Armisen), as Tobey Maguire (Shia LeBeouf) is asked to sit on a giant cupcake and Nancy Grace (Amy Poehler) drawls on.

Recurring Characters: Prince, Beyonce Knowles, Tobey Maguire, Nancy Grace.

Under 21Summary: A group of underaged college students (Andy Samberg, Shia LeBeouf, Bill Hader, Will Forte) make clumsy ploys to buy cases of beer from a convenience store clerk (Kenan Thompson).


The Dakota Fanning ShowSummary: Brainy Dakota Fanning (Amy Poehler) mocks fellow child star guests Cole (Shia LeBeouf) and Dylan Sprouse (Andy Samberg), and her little sister, Elle Fanning (Avril Lavigne).

Recurring Characters: Dakota Fanning, Reggie Hudson, Catherine.

An SNL Digital ShortSummary: In a spoof of a cliffhanger from “The O.C.”, “The Shooting” features multiple shootouts as Keith (Bill Hader) pens a letter to his sister (Kristen Wiig).


Sofa KingSummary: Entrepreneuer Katir Mutar’s (Fred Armisen) sofas aren’t just great – they’re Sofa King great!

Avril Lavigne performs “Girlfriend”Also Performed: 02i, 03s.

Weekend Update with Amy Poehler & Seth MeyersSummary: Maya Rudolph interviews Howard K. Stern (Andy Samberg). Two gay guys from Connecticut (Fred Armisen, Bill Hader). Don Imus (Darrell Hammond) further incriminates himself.

Knife SalesmenSummary: Salesmen Blade P. Cutsworth (Will Forte) and Bernard Throttlehunt (Shia LeBeouf) goes to extremes to sell their knives to a housewife (Kristen Wiig), even if it means slicing off their own fingers.


An Intimate Moment with John Mayer & Jessica SimpsonSummary: Pop stars Jessica Simpson (Kristen Wiig) and John Mayer (Bill Hader) express their love for one another without barely saying a word.

Recurring Characters: Jessica Simpson.

Avril Lavigne performs “I Can Do Better”

Maya & ShiaSummary: With the discovery that their first names rhyme, Maya Rudolph attempts to seduce Shia LeBeouf in her dressing room.




Dress Rehearsal Cuts

RoommatesSummary: Student (Shia LaBeouf) tries to get his fat roommates to stop eating his food by using Jared the Subway guy to scare them.

Target GreatlandSummary: Target clerk (Kristen Wiig)’s customers are scared away by cafe clerk’s (Shia LaBeouf) ghost stories.

Recurring Characters: Target clerk.

An SNL Digital ShortSummary: Andy Samberg raps about his brother-in-law Roy.

An Intimate Moment with John Mayer & Jessica Simpson ISummary: Pop stars Jessica Simpson (Kristen Wiig) and John Mayer (Bill Hader) express their love for one another in dead silence.

Recurring Characters: Jessica Simpson.

Movie PitchSummary: Shia LaBeouf makes a movie pitch.

Hardware StoreSummary: Shopper (Fred Armisen) makes a scene at the hardware store by dropping things on his penis.

Monkey BusinessSummary: Teenager (Shia LaBeouf) tries to get rid of the monkeys in his room.

An Intimate Moment with John Mayer & Jessica Simpson IIISummary: Pop stars Jessica Simpson (Kristen Wiig) and John Mayer (Bill Hader) express their love for one another with continued silence.

Recurring Characters: Jessica Simpson.

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