SNL Transcripts: Zach Braff: 05/19/07



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 32: Episode 20


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:


May 19th, 2007

Zach Braff

Maroon 5

None

None

A Message From the President of the United StatesSummary: President George W. Bush (Jason Sudeikis) announces that he’s taking off for summer vacation and leaving Condoleeza Rice (Maya Rudolph) in charge.

Recurring Characters: President George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Condoleeza Rice.

Transcript

Montage

Zach Braff’s MonologueSummary: Zach Braff sings about his home state, New Jersey.

Bio: Zach Braff (1975-). Actor; starred on “Scrubs” since 2001; starred, wrote, directed, and produced the soundtrack for “Garden State” in 2004.

Transcript

An SNL Digital ShortSummary: While inquiring about an apartment, a man (Andy Samberg) finds himself being seduced into some “Dog Love” by his new roommate’s (Zach Braff) furry pal (Bill Hader).

Transcript

Prom Committee MeetingSummary: Snobby committee leaders (Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph) aren’t keen on listening to outside ideas for prom themes from their less-than-demure classmates.

Recurring Characters: Lyle Kane.

Transcript

Deep House DishSummary: DJ Dynasty Handbag (Kenan Thompson) laughs briefly at one of co-host T’Shane’s (Andy Samberg) lame jokes, then they dish out more of the club music scene.

Recurring Characters: DJ Dynasty Handbag, T’Shane.

TV FunhouseSummary: Rob Smigel presents “Decision ’08: Spring ’07 Cleaning”, in which various Democratic and Republican presidential contenders come clean with their dirtiest secrets on “Oprah.”

Note: An audience member screams out “Exit Only!” after reading the expression from a tattoo on Rudolph Guiliani’s ass.

The WeightSummary: While in a bar, the sounds of “The Weight” on the jukebox spurns memories of unusual life-changing events for four buddies (Zach Braff, Bill Hader, Will Forte, Jason Sudeikis).

Recurring Characters: Buddies.

Maroon 5 performs “Makes Me Wonder”Also Performed: 03m.

Weekend Update with Amy Poehler & Seth MeyersSummary: Culture correspondent, Amy’s Aunt Linda (Kristen Wiig), reviews some of the summer movie sequels coming out. Sam Waterson (Fred Armisen) takes offense to a joke about NBC’s renewal of “Law & Order.” Whitney Houston (Maya Rudolph) makes a surprise visit to the desk so she can ramble incoherently.

Recurring Characters: Aunt Linda, Whitney Houston.

Transcript

La Revista Della TelevisioneSummary: Fast-talking Italian talk show host Vinny Vedecci (Bill Hader) interviews Zach Braff.

Recurring Characters: Vinny Vedecci.

Transcript

Bronx Beat with Betty & JodiSummary: Betty Caruso (Amy Poehler) and Jodi Deitz (Maya Rudolph) chatter with an attractive intern (Zach Braff).

Recurring Characters: Betty Caruso, Josi Deitz.

Maroon 5 performs “Won’t Go Home Without You”

Melissa the ReceptionistSummary: Brian Grazer’s (Bill Hader) nerdy receptionist, Melissa (Fred Armisen), hits on Zach Braff.

Note: This sketch was cut from last season’s episode hosted by Tom Hanks.

Transcript

GoodnightsTranscript

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Dress Rehearsal Cuts

The SuperSummary: Tenants try to find a way to fire their apartment super.

Al Gore Talks to AmericaSummary: Al Gore (Darrell Hammond) rants further about global warming.

Recurring Characters: Al Gore.

ProactiveSummary: Dina Lohan (Kristen Wiig) touts Proactive.

IntrovertsSummary: Introverted co-workers Neil (Will Forte) and Jean (Kristen Wiig) discuss the purchase of glue from a Staples clerk (Zach Braff).

Recurring Characters: Neil, Jean.

DeodorantSummary: J.T. (Zach Braff) deodorizes elderly patients before operating on them.

Al Pacino Does Last-Minute Gift ShoppingSummary: Al Pacino (Bill Hader) calls an operator (Kristen Wiig) so he can do some last-minute gift shopping.

Recurring Characters: Al Pacino.

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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