Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 32: Episode 20
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Air Date:Host:Musical Guest:Special Guests:Cameos:
May 19th, 2007
Zach Braff
Maroon 5
None
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A Message From the President of the United StatesSummary: President George W. Bush (Jason Sudeikis) announces that he’s taking off for summer vacation and leaving Condoleeza Rice (Maya Rudolph) in charge.
Recurring Characters: President George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Condoleeza Rice.
Transcript
Montage
Zach Braff’s MonologueSummary: Zach Braff sings about his home state, New Jersey.
Bio: Zach Braff (1975-). Actor; starred on “Scrubs” since 2001; starred, wrote, directed, and produced the soundtrack for “Garden State” in 2004.
Transcript
An SNL Digital ShortSummary: While inquiring about an apartment, a man (Andy Samberg) finds himself being seduced into some “Dog Love” by his new roommate’s (Zach Braff) furry pal (Bill Hader).
Transcript
Prom Committee MeetingSummary: Snobby committee leaders (Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph) aren’t keen on listening to outside ideas for prom themes from their less-than-demure classmates.
Recurring Characters: Lyle Kane.
Transcript
Deep House DishSummary: DJ Dynasty Handbag (Kenan Thompson) laughs briefly at one of co-host T’Shane’s (Andy Samberg) lame jokes, then they dish out more of the club music scene.
Recurring Characters: DJ Dynasty Handbag, T’Shane.
TV FunhouseSummary: Rob Smigel presents “Decision ’08: Spring ’07 Cleaning”, in which various Democratic and Republican presidential contenders come clean with their dirtiest secrets on “Oprah.”
Note: An audience member screams out “Exit Only!” after reading the expression from a tattoo on Rudolph Guiliani’s ass.
The WeightSummary: While in a bar, the sounds of “The Weight” on the jukebox spurns memories of unusual life-changing events for four buddies (Zach Braff, Bill Hader, Will Forte, Jason Sudeikis).
Recurring Characters: Buddies.
Maroon 5 performs “Makes Me Wonder”Also Performed: 03m.
Weekend Update with Amy Poehler & Seth MeyersSummary: Culture correspondent, Amy’s Aunt Linda (Kristen Wiig), reviews some of the summer movie sequels coming out. Sam Waterson (Fred Armisen) takes offense to a joke about NBC’s renewal of “Law & Order.” Whitney Houston (Maya Rudolph) makes a surprise visit to the desk so she can ramble incoherently.
Recurring Characters: Aunt Linda, Whitney Houston.
Transcript
La Revista Della TelevisioneSummary: Fast-talking Italian talk show host Vinny Vedecci (Bill Hader) interviews Zach Braff.
Recurring Characters: Vinny Vedecci.
Transcript
Bronx Beat with Betty & JodiSummary: Betty Caruso (Amy Poehler) and Jodi Deitz (Maya Rudolph) chatter with an attractive intern (Zach Braff).
Recurring Characters: Betty Caruso, Josi Deitz.
Maroon 5 performs “Won’t Go Home Without You”
Melissa the ReceptionistSummary: Brian Grazer’s (Bill Hader) nerdy receptionist, Melissa (Fred Armisen), hits on Zach Braff.
Note: This sketch was cut from last season’s episode hosted by Tom Hanks.
Transcript
GoodnightsTranscript
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Dress Rehearsal Cuts
The SuperSummary: Tenants try to find a way to fire their apartment super.
Al Gore Talks to AmericaSummary: Al Gore (Darrell Hammond) rants further about global warming.
Recurring Characters: Al Gore.
ProactiveSummary: Dina Lohan (Kristen Wiig) touts Proactive.
IntrovertsSummary: Introverted co-workers Neil (Will Forte) and Jean (Kristen Wiig) discuss the purchase of glue from a Staples clerk (Zach Braff).
Recurring Characters: Neil, Jean.
DeodorantSummary: J.T. (Zach Braff) deodorizes elderly patients before operating on them.
Al Pacino Does Last-Minute Gift ShoppingSummary: Al Pacino (Bill Hader) calls an operator (Kristen Wiig) so he can do some last-minute gift shopping.
Recurring Characters: Al Pacino.
