Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 33: Episode 1
07a: LeBron James / Kanye West
High School Musical 3
Announcer…..Bill Hader
Zac Efron…..Andy Samberg
Venessa Anne Hudgens…..Maya Rudolph
New Kid…..LeBron James
Corbin Bleu……Fred Armisen
Announcer: Get ready! The most anticipated Disney Channel movie of all time is only a year a way!
[Super of “High School Musical 3: Return of the Seniors]Announcer: High School Musical 3! Return of the Seniors! With Zac Efron as Troy Bolton.
[pans to Zac about to break out in song]Zac Efron: [singing] This is my year, gotta dig deep, see clear, make it special, oh oh oh, I’m a senior now, gotta dance dance now.
Announcer: But, a new kid comes to East High. Does he have the stuff to make the East High basketball team?
[pans to the new kid, and the basketball team]New Kid: Hey, I heard there was some tryouts for a basketball team in here.
Zac Efron: Yeah, this is where we separate the men from the boys, do you think you’re tough enough to play for East High?
New Kid: I hope so, I’m not a bad basketball player.
Zac Efron: That’s not what I asked.
Corbin Bleu: [swifts head over and back] You tell him, Troy!
Zac Efron: I asked…
[song starts]Zac Efron: Are you tough enough? Can you sing and dance? Can you give a lot, and take your best shot?
[basketball players start moving their basketballs, as the ones in the back do stunts]Basketball Players: Take your best shot. Make it happen now. Shake it all around, and take your best shot.
[song ends]Zac Efron: So, do you think you can cut it as an East side? side Basketball player?
[moves shoulders and heads, as an attempt to be a dance]New Kid: Yeah, on second thought, I don’t think I wanna get down with what’s going on in here. I think I’m going to leave.
Female voice: Don’t go!
Announcer: And Venessa Anne Hudgens returns, after a very interesting summer, as Gabriella!
[pans over to Venessa, who is topless, with a huge black censor bar over her breats] [ballad song starts]Venessa Anne Hudgens: If you leave here, leaving East High,
[points to her boobs]Venessa Anne Hudgens: You’ll never get the chance of checkin’ these out!
[camera pans over to the basketball team]Zac Efron: But you’re my special girl, how could you be with him, when you should be with me, and I should be with you, and you with me, and on and on like that.
[ballad song ends, while heavy rock song starts up]New Kid: On second thought, I think I’ll stick around. Play a little ball and have sex with your girlfriend, never give up. Break it down.
Announcer: The songs are the best yet! And there’s dancing! That’s exactly what you’d expect.
[Super of “High School Musical 3: Return of the Seniors”]Announcer: High School Musical 3!
[dissolves while there is a few seconds of a pause, before the applause starts]Submitted by: Conner Bourgoin