SNL Transcripts: LeBron James: 09/29/07: An SNL Digital Short


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 33: Episode 1

07a: LeBron James / Kanye West

An SNL Digital Short

…..Andy Samberg
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad…..Fred Armisen
…..Adam Levine
…..Jake Gyllenhaal

[ open on Andy Samberg playing piano in the park ]

Andy Samberg:
“They say true love comes only once in a lifetime
And even though we’re from opposite ends of the earth
My heart tells me you’re the one for me

I remember when it started, saw you on the news
You were hating gays, I was eating food
But I was feeling you, and even though I disagree with almost everything you said
You ain’t wrong to me, so strong to me, you belong to me
Like a very hairy Jake Gyllenhaal to me
Mahmoud, make my heart beat right out of my chest
My mind says no but my body says yes
Nuclear threat? The only threat I see is the threat of you not coming home with me
Our love for each other’s like when atoms collide
Can’t express how I feel
Ay yo Adam let’s ride.”

Adam Levine:
“And Iran
Iran so far away is your home
But in my heart you’ll stay.”

Andy Samberg:
“He ran for the president of Iran
We ran together to a tropical island
My man, Mahmoud is known for wildin’
Smilin’, if he can still do it then I can
They call you weasel, they say your methods are medieval
You can play the Jews, I can be your Jim Caviezel
S&M, nestlin’ when we’re wrestlin’
You can be the port that I park my vessel in
So I try to mute the TV but you can still see me
With your sleepy brown eyes, butter pecan thighs
And your hairy butt

Adam Levine:
“And Iran, Iran so far away
Come home and in my arms you’ll stay
Used to look at the stars and dream
Around the world the same stars we’re seeing
And a twinkle in your eyes Mahmoud.”

Andy Samberg:
“Talk smooth to me, without a tie
Your pants high waisted, damn so fly
We can take a trip to the animal zoo
And laugh at all the funny things that animals do
Like Eugene, you got me straight trippin’ boo
Hope you look in my eyes and say I’m trippin’ too
You say Iran don’t have the bomb but they already do
You should know by now, it’s you
It’s you.”

Adam Levine:
“And Iran
Iran so far away is your home
But in my heart you’ll stay.”

Andy Samberg:
“You crazy for this one, Mahmoud
You can deny the Holocaust all you want
But you can’t deny that there’s something between us
I know you say there’s no gays in Iran
But you’re in New York now baby
It’s time to stop hiding and start living

Submitted by: Monica B.

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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