SNL Transcripts: Seth Rogen: 10/06/07: MacGruber III


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 33: Episode 2

07b: Seth Rogen / Spoon

MacGruber III

MacGruber…..Will Forte
Casey…..Maya Rudolph
Caleb…..Seth Rogen

[FADE IN on the ends of two electric wires as a spark jumps between them. CUT among various shots of pontoon planes, hands tinkering with materials, and exploding buildings.]

His surgeon cut him off, so he flew to South America!
Turns out the medical standards are a lot more relaxed down there!
He regrets it with every fiber of his being!

[CUT to MacGruber rubbing the side of his face against footage of flames.]

Singers: MACGRUBER-RRR!!!!!

[CUT to a monastery. SUPERIMPOSE caption, “Deserted Monastery.” CUT to a sign marked “Deserted Monastery Control Room” as sirens wail.]

Caleb: [struggling with locked door] Dammit, MacGruber! We’re trapped!

Casey: That bunker buster is set to go off in fifteen seconds! What do we do, MacGruber?

MacGruber: [ his face turned away and hidden from view ] Casey.. hand me that screwdriver.

Casey: [ confused and reluctant, but hands MacGruber the screwdriver ] Here you go, MacGruber.

MacGruber: Caleb.. toss me that paperweight.

Caleb: Okay. [ he grabs the paperweight and tosses it to MacGruber ]

MacGruber: Casey.. hand me that mirror.

Casey: Uh — uh, I — I don’t know, Macgruber..

MacGruber: [ angry ] You want me to diffuse this bomb or not?!

Casey: Yeah, but —

MacGruber: The mirror!!

[ Casey hands MacGruber the mirror. Slow-motion as MacGruber grabs the mirror and moves it closer to his face to examine the results of his plastic surgery. The tension builds with tight shots of Casey and Caleb. ] [ Suddenly, MacGruber turns to face the camera, with a smile on his tightly pulled back face ]

MacGruber: [ smiling ] Not so bad!

[CUT to the monastery exploding and spewing smoke everywhere.]

Singers: MACGRUBER-RRR!!!!!

[FADE to black over applause.]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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