Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 33: Episode 3
Charles Barkeley….Kenan Thompson
Announcer: Amy Poehler
Caption: Sundance Channel Original
Announcer: Up next on the Sundance Channel.[Montage of famous people’s faces. Maya Angelou, hotdog eating champ Kobayashi, tennis pro Federer, one ofthe Golden Girls, The Pope, Dennis Miller]
Announcer: Music, art, ideas, soft expressions, faces,insights, connections, laughter. Iconoclasts.
Announcer: The show that brings together the mostfascinating and controversial minds. This week on Iconoclasts.
Caption: Björk. Musician.[Weird music icon Björk sits at a table, bubbles float around]
Björk: In my dreams my fingers are made of butter.[Ex-NBA great Charles Barkeley sits and is in mid-conversation]
Charles Barkeley:…and I was like “I don’t even care,cause its not my car”, wait. What show is this?
Caption: Björk and Charles Barkeley[Camera splits with photos of Björk and Charles Barkeley faces]
Announcer: Watch sparks fly as two great minds meet for the first time.
Caption: Sparks. Great minds. First time.[Charles and Björk share a table at The Cheesecake Factory]
Björk: Hello, Charles Barkeley. Would you like to hold my invisible baby?
Charles Barkeley: Is this for real?[Camera split, photo of Björk and Charles]
Announcer: An intimate discussion where no subject is off limits.
Caption: Intimate discussion. No subject. Off limits.[Charles and Björk stare at each other, not a word]
Announcer: Two visionaries having the kind ofconversation you could take a long bath in.
Caption: Visionaries. Conversation. Bath.[Björk holds up a menu]
Björk: Look, Charles Barkeley. I have a magic book.
Charles Barkeley: Girl, that’s a menu. You’ve never been to the Cheesecake Factory?
Björk: Look! It’s snowing![Björk throws sugar up in the air. Hides her shy smile with her hands]
Charles Barkeley: Damn, you’re like Dennis Rodman if he was a tiny white lady.
Announcer: When great minds collide anything can happen.
Caption: Great minds. Anything can happen.
Charles Barkeley:[looks at menu]Everything is good atthe Cheesecake Factory. Let me see. That’s good, thisis good, this is it right here—I want that. Oh, Thailettuce wraps? Yes, please! He, he, he.
Björk: Do they have cheesecake?[hides her shy smile]
Charles Barkeley: Ha, ha, ha! Oh, “Bork”. You are priceless.
Announcer: Two humans with mouths making noises that are words.
Caption: Humans. Mouths. Noises that are words.[Charles is dumping the contents of Björk’s plate unto his]
Björk: Charles, do you think humans are just trees made of skin?
Charles Barkeley:[going along with it]Yeah. Come one,”Bork”. Let’s go watch the tv’s at Best Buy!
Charles Barkeley: Cool. Did you drive?
Björk:[holds up bike wheel]I brought my wheel.
Charles Barkeley: Shotgun![They leave]
Announcer: Iconoclasts. Only on the Sundance Channel.
Caption: Sundance Channel on Universal HD.[Scene fades] [Cheers and applause]
Submitted by: Waldo San Miguel