SNL Transcripts: Jon Bon Jovi: 10/13/07: Iconoclasts


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 33: Episode 3

07c: Jon Bon Jovi / Foo Fighters


Charles Barkeley….Kenan Thompson
Björk….Kristen Wiig
Announcer: Amy Poehler

Caption: Sundance Channel Original

Announcer: Up next on the Sundance Channel.

[Montage of famous people’s faces. Maya Angelou, hotdog eating champ Kobayashi, tennis pro Federer, one ofthe Golden Girls, The Pope, Dennis Miller]

Announcer: Music, art, ideas, soft expressions, faces,insights, connections, laughter. Iconoclasts.

Caption: Iconoclasts.

Announcer: The show that brings together the mostfascinating and controversial minds. This week on Iconoclasts.

Caption: Björk. Musician.

[Weird music icon Björk sits at a table, bubbles float around]

Björk: In my dreams my fingers are made of butter.

[Ex-NBA great Charles Barkeley sits and is in mid-conversation]

Charles Barkeley:…and I was like “I don’t even care,cause its not my car”, wait. What show is this?

Announcer: Iconoclasts.

Caption: Björk and Charles Barkeley

[Camera splits with photos of Björk and Charles Barkeley faces]

Announcer: Watch sparks fly as two great minds meet for the first time.

Caption: Sparks. Great minds. First time.

[Charles and Björk share a table at The Cheesecake Factory]

Björk: Hello, Charles Barkeley. Would you like to hold my invisible baby?

Charles Barkeley: Is this for real?

[Camera split, photo of Björk and Charles]

Announcer: An intimate discussion where no subject is off limits.

Caption: Intimate discussion. No subject. Off limits.

[Charles and Björk stare at each other, not a word]

Announcer: Two visionaries having the kind ofconversation you could take a long bath in.

Caption: Visionaries. Conversation. Bath.

[Björk holds up a menu]

Björk: Look, Charles Barkeley. I have a magic book.

Charles Barkeley: Girl, that’s a menu. You’ve never been to the Cheesecake Factory?

Björk: Look! It’s snowing!

[Björk throws sugar up in the air. Hides her shy smile with her hands]

Charles Barkeley: Damn, you’re like Dennis Rodman if he was a tiny white lady.

Announcer: When great minds collide anything can happen.

Caption: Great minds. Anything can happen.

Charles Barkeley:[looks at menu]Everything is good atthe Cheesecake Factory. Let me see. That’s good, thisis good, this is it right here—I want that. Oh, Thailettuce wraps? Yes, please! He, he, he.

Björk: Do they have cheesecake?[hides her shy smile]

Charles Barkeley: Ha, ha, ha! Oh, “Bork”. You are priceless.

Announcer: Two humans with mouths making noises that are words.

Caption: Humans. Mouths. Noises that are words.

[Charles is dumping the contents of Björk’s plate unto his]

Björk: Charles, do you think humans are just trees made of skin?

Charles Barkeley:[going along with it]Yeah. Come one,”Bork”. Let’s go watch the tv’s at Best Buy!

Björk: Ok.

Charles Barkeley: Cool. Did you drive?

Björk:[holds up bike wheel]I brought my wheel.

Charles Barkeley: Shotgun!

[They leave]

Announcer: Iconoclasts. Only on the Sundance Channel.

Caption: Sundance Channel on Universal HD.

[Scene fades] [Cheers and applause]

Submitted by: Waldo San Miguel

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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