SNL Transcripts: Jon Bon Jovi: 10/13/07: Iconoclasts

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 33: Episode 3

07c: Jon Bon Jovi / Foo Fighters


Charles Barkeley….Kenan Thompson
Björk….Kristen Wiig
Announcer: Amy Poehler

Caption: Sundance Channel Original

Announcer: Up next on the Sundance Channel.

[Montage of famous people’s faces. Maya Angelou, hotdog eating champ Kobayashi, tennis pro Federer, one ofthe Golden Girls, The Pope, Dennis Miller]

Announcer: Music, art, ideas, soft expressions, faces,insights, connections, laughter. Iconoclasts.

Caption: Iconoclasts.

Announcer: The show that brings together the mostfascinating and controversial minds. This week on Iconoclasts.

Caption: Björk. Musician.

[Weird music icon Björk sits at a table, bubbles float around]

Björk: In my dreams my fingers are made of butter.

[Ex-NBA great Charles Barkeley sits and is in mid-conversation]

Charles Barkeley:…and I was like “I don’t even care,cause its not my car”, wait. What show is this?

Announcer: Iconoclasts.

Caption: Björk and Charles Barkeley

[Camera splits with photos of Björk and Charles Barkeley faces]

Announcer: Watch sparks fly as two great minds meet for the first time.

Caption: Sparks. Great minds. First time.

[Charles and Björk share a table at The Cheesecake Factory]

Björk: Hello, Charles Barkeley. Would you like to hold my invisible baby?

Charles Barkeley: Is this for real?

[Camera split, photo of Björk and Charles]

Announcer: An intimate discussion where no subject is off limits.

Caption: Intimate discussion. No subject. Off limits.

[Charles and Björk stare at each other, not a word]

Announcer: Two visionaries having the kind ofconversation you could take a long bath in.

Caption: Visionaries. Conversation. Bath.

[Björk holds up a menu]

Björk: Look, Charles Barkeley. I have a magic book.

Charles Barkeley: Girl, that’s a menu. You’ve never been to the Cheesecake Factory?

Björk: Look! It’s snowing!

[Björk throws sugar up in the air. Hides her shy smile with her hands]

Charles Barkeley: Damn, you’re like Dennis Rodman if he was a tiny white lady.

Announcer: When great minds collide anything can happen.

Caption: Great minds. Anything can happen.

Charles Barkeley:[looks at menu]Everything is good atthe Cheesecake Factory. Let me see. That’s good, thisis good, this is it right here—I want that. Oh, Thailettuce wraps? Yes, please! He, he, he.

Björk: Do they have cheesecake?[hides her shy smile]

Charles Barkeley: Ha, ha, ha! Oh, “Bork”. You are priceless.

Announcer: Two humans with mouths making noises that are words.

Caption: Humans. Mouths. Noises that are words.

[Charles is dumping the contents of Björk’s plate unto his]

Björk: Charles, do you think humans are just trees made of skin?

Charles Barkeley:[going along with it]Yeah. Come one,”Bork”. Let’s go watch the tv’s at Best Buy!

Björk: Ok.

Charles Barkeley: Cool. Did you drive?

Björk:[holds up bike wheel]I brought my wheel.

Charles Barkeley: Shotgun!

[They leave]

Announcer: Iconoclasts. Only on the Sundance Channel.

Caption: Sundance Channel on Universal HD.

[Scene fades] [Cheers and applause]

Submitted by: Waldo San Miguel

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