SNL Transcripts: Brian Williams: 11/03/07: Maybelline For Men Only


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 33: Episode 4

07d: Brian Williams / Feist

Maybelline For Men Only

Phil….Fred Armisen
Phil’s wife….Amy Poehler
Phil’s Friends….Andy Samberg, Bill Hader, Jason Sudeikis, Will Forte

[Opens with a group of friends watching a football game on HDTV. They cheer]

Jason: Where’s the beer?

Andy: Phil’s bringing it.

[Knocks on door. Jason opens the door and Phil isthere with the beer and on his face he wears red-hotlipstick, eye shadow, mascara, blush]

Phil: Somebody said beer. [gives beer to Jason, goes inside]

Jason: [confused]God, what’s going on with your face?

Phil: I don’t know. Maybe I look a little more well-rested.

Andy: No. It looks like you have women’s make-up on.

Will: Yeah, I’d say women’s make-up.

Phil: No, I don’t. I’m wearing makeup for men.[holdsup the box] It’s men’s makeup. For men’s only. If itwasn’t man’s makeup, why do they say it on the box?[his pals check out the box]Maybelline for men. Itswritten on the box.

[Phil’s friends are all getting dolled up in front of their mirrors]

Will: Are you sure this is for men?

Jason: 100% Look on the box.

[On the box it reads “Maybelline. For men only. Not noticeable”]

Announcer: Maybelline for men.

Jason: And it’s not noticeable.

Announcer: Guys need to look good too.

[Phil is gets his lashes done. Walks in on his wife who is getting ready for a night out]

Phil: Ready to go honey.

Phil’s wife: Are you wearing makeup?

Phil: [kind of tired of explaining] I’m wearing makeupfor men. It’s not noticeable. It says so on the box. Let’s go.

[ Holds up the box, wife is convinced]

Phil’s friends: Maybelline for men only!!

Jingle: Maybe it’s Maybelline!

[Phil wearing a leather jacket, helmet and makeup hopson a motorcycle, engine revs]

Phil: I’m a Maybelline man.

[scene fades] [Cheers and applause]

Submitted by: Waldo San Miguel

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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