Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 33: Episode 4
Maybelline For Men Only
Phil’s wife….Amy Poehler
Phil’s Friends….Andy Samberg, Bill Hader, Jason Sudeikis, Will Forte
[Opens with a group of friends watching a football game on HDTV. They cheer]
Jason: Where’s the beer?
Andy: Phil’s bringing it.
[Knocks on door. Jason opens the door and Phil isthere with the beer and on his face he wears red-hotlipstick, eye shadow, mascara, blush]
Phil: Somebody said beer. [gives beer to Jason, goes inside]
Jason: [confused]God, what’s going on with your face?
Phil: I don’t know. Maybe I look a little more well-rested.
Andy: No. It looks like you have women’s make-up on.
Will: Yeah, I’d say women’s make-up.
Phil: No, I don’t. I’m wearing makeup for men.[holdsup the box] It’s men’s makeup. For men’s only. If itwasn’t man’s makeup, why do they say it on the box?[his pals check out the box]Maybelline for men. Itswritten on the box.
[Phil’s friends are all getting dolled up in front of their mirrors]
Will: Are you sure this is for men?
Jason: 100% Look on the box.
[On the box it reads “Maybelline. For men only. Not noticeable”]
Announcer: Maybelline for men.
Jason: And it’s not noticeable.
Announcer: Guys need to look good too.
[Phil is gets his lashes done. Walks in on his wife who is getting ready for a night out]
Phil: Ready to go honey.
Phil’s wife: Are you wearing makeup?
Phil: [kind of tired of explaining] I’m wearing makeupfor men. It’s not noticeable. It says so on the box. Let’s go.
[ Holds up the box, wife is convinced]
Phil’s friends: Maybelline for men only!!
Jingle: Maybe it’s Maybelline!
[Phil wearing a leather jacket, helmet and makeup hopson a motorcycle, engine revs]
Phil: I’m a Maybelline man.
[Cheers and applause]
Submitted by: Waldo San Miguel