SNL Transcripts: Brian Williams: 11/03/07: An SNL Digital Short


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 33: Episode 4

07d: Brian Williams / Feist

An SNL Digital Short

…..Brian Williams
…..Al Roker
…..Matt Lauer

[ tag (over black screen): “An SNL Digital Short” ]

Director’s Voice: In 3.. 2..

[ dissolve to Brian Williams standing in the NBC News studio ]

Brian Williams: Hi, I’m Brian Williams of “NBC Nightly News.” A lot of people ask me, quite often, what it’s like to be a network evening news anchor. So I agreed to let a camera crew follow me through an average day here at work. Take a look.

[ dissolve to exterior, NBC Studios of 30 Rockefeller Center ]

Brian Williams V/O: The first thing I like to do each morning when I get to NBC’s 30 Rockefeller Plaza Headquarters.. is stand outside the building, and wait for somebody to recognize me.

Passerby: Hey! Stone Phillips!

Brian Williams: [ satisfied ] Hey, hey, hey!

Brian Williams V/O: Close enough.

[ cut to Brian Williams entering NBC’s fitness center ]

Brian Williams V/O: Then.. it’s straight to the fitness center, for my daily fitness regime.

[ reveal Brian Williams reading a newspaper while standing on treadmill in roller skates ]

Brian Williams V/O: Oh, boy.. I’m gonna feel that workout tomorrow.

[ cut to footage of NBC employees eating in the cafeteria ]

Brian Williams V/O: I always try to take my meals in the NBC cafeteria. I feel it connects me with my fellow workers — the common man.

[ reveal Brian Williams sitting at table by himself. The table is roped off and guarded by a personal bodyguard ] [ cut to Brian Williams making a phone call in his office ]

Brian Williams V/O: Afterwards, it’s time to head in to the office. The first thing I do is pick a phone and call a special someone, who means the world to me.

Brian Williams: [ into phone ] Hey, you! I know you had a tough day, but.. you got through it, because you’re the best there is. You’re a winner.. and I love you. [ he hangs up ] [ cut to various images of Brian Williams hard at work, then cut to him opening the window in his office ]

Brian Williams V/O: So much of what we do in the news business is serious. Sometimes I find it’s healthy to take a break and have a little fun.

Brian Williams: [ grabs a fistful of pennies and looks down below ] Ah, the morning duo!

[ down below, Al Roker and Matt Lauer are delivering a piece on “The Today Show”, when they are suddenly pelted by the hailing pennies ]

Al Roker: What is that?!

Matt Lauer: [ looking up ] What kind of asshole throws pennies from a window?

[ back upstairs, Brian Williams smiles as he ducks back inot his office and shuts the window ] [ cut to Brian Williams watching video in the dark ]

Brian Williams V/O: As a part of my daily ritual, I like to find time to watch footage of my favorite news anchor of all time.

[ reveal that Brian Williams is watching footage of himself ]

Brian Williams: [ watching, he smiles] The Master at work!

[ dissolve to Brian Williams in a meditation position on the floor of his office ]

Brian Williams V/O: I also like to calm my nerves, by practicing the ancient art of meditation.

[ the image of Bono appears above Brian Williams’ shoulder ]

Bono: Oh, yeah.. lookin’ good, Brian! You’re WAY cooler than me. I’d do ANYTHING to be you.

[ Brian Williams glances up at Bono’s image and smiles ]

Brian Williams: Thanks, Bono!

[ dissolve to footage of Brian Williams entering the NBC News studio ]

Brian Williams V/O: Then it’s time for the big show.. and I make my way into the studio, take my seat, and share the news with America.

Brian Williams: [ live ] Good evening. The Stock Market suffered a big fall today —

Brian Williams V/O: And that’s my day — a job well done. When it’s all over, I pack up my stuff, check my voice mail one last time, and head on home.

[ in the hallway, Brian Williams holds his cell phone up to his ear ]

Voice Mail Recording: First new voice message:

Brian Williams: [ pre-recorded voice message ] Hey, you! I know you had a tough day, but.. you got through it, because you’re the best there is. You’re a winner.. and I love you.

Brian Williams: [ smiles ] I love you, too.

[ Brian Williams hangs up his cell phone and heads home ] [ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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