SNL Transcripts: Tina Fey: 02/23/08: Virgania Horsen’s Hot Air Balloon Rides

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 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 33: Episode 5










07e: Tina Fey / Carrie Underwood

Virgania Horsen’s Hot Air Balloon Rides

Virgania Horsen…..Kristen Wiig

[ open on Virgania Horsen standing in front of various green-screen images inside an airport ]

Virgania Horsen: Are you sick of the airport? The long lines? Security? The danger of terrorism?

[ cut to Virgania Horsen standing in front of a green-screen image of hot air balloon soaring over the city ]

Virgania Horsen: Why not take a ride in a… hot air balloon?

[ cut to product card ]

Virgania Horsen: Virgania Horsen’s Hot Air Balloon Rides.

[ cut to images of hot air balloons soaring over the city ]

Virgania Horsen: You don’t have to worry about terrorists… or long lines… and it’s just you and me — up in the air!

[ cut to an image of Virgania Horsen standing in a hot air balloon basket that zooms to the front of the camera ]

Virgania Horsen: Whoa-oa-oa! [ as she looks out from above the city ] Hey! I can see my house from here! Just kidding. Why not take a ride in my balloon? I’ll cut you a deal. [ the basket zooms away from the camera ] Whee-ee-ee!!

[ cut to Virgania Horsen standing in front of a green-screen image of an airport metal detector ]

Virgania Horsen: Forget about airport security. [ looks at the image of people entering the metal detector ] See you later, suckers. I’m taking myself a hot air balloon ride.

[ cut to Virgania Horsen floating across a green-screen sky in her hot air balloon basket ]

Virgania Horsen: Oo-oo-ooh! Fresh air! Listen: I’m not one of those college types who’s gonna talk your ear off. I bought a balloon, and it doesn’t mean I think I’m better than everybody else. [ she holds a book ] Or I can just read a book. I’m not one of those people who doesn’t know how to be quiet.

[ cut to Virgania Horsen standing in front a green-screen swatting words like “Long Lines”, “Terrorist” and “Airport Security” away from her ] [ close-up of Virgania Horsen with the word “Winner!” in front of her ] [ cut to Virgania Horsen standing in front of a green-screen image of hot air balloon soaring over the city ]

Virgania Horsen: So come on over, and take a ride in my hot air balloon, and I’ll take you wherever you want to go. I promise.

[ cut to product card ]

Virgania Horsen: Virgania Horsen’s Hot Air Balloon Rides.

[ cut to Virgania Horsen standing in her hot air balloon basket ]

Virgania Horsen: Come ride with me!![ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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